Should I trust him?

My boyfriend of 10 months went out of town for a weekend with his cousin. When he came home, there were two numbers in his phone that were blocked and didn’t have names. He acted as if he didn’t know how they got in there and called them. One didn’t answer but the other did. When they picked up it was a girl and he was still acting as if he didn’t know how her number got in his phone. He said “who is this? How’d your number get in my phone?” And she responded with “its brittany from this weekend. You let me put my number in your phone” he still acted as if he had no idea who she was or how it got in there and hung up the phone. I was furious about it. I told him random blocked numbers don’t just appear in your phone. So he said all he did was go to Walmart with both of these girls. I was still upset about it and told him I wanted to see the messages but refused to get a copy of them. The next day I asked him again about them and he kept to his story until a few hours later and said he talked to one of the girls for a while and they were flirting. I was very mad about this.

I don’t know what to do considering he was withholding all of this. I’m not sure whether to trust him and forgive.

He’s also lied about his past relationships. He’s cheated on almost every girl he’s been with. He also tells a lot of little lies that I can’t seem to understand why. It could be something as simple as hanging out with other girls or why he left in the middle of the night while I was asleep or if he’s playing online with his guy friends or some girls.

Please help !!! Thank you!!

Should you trust him? Hell, no! You're knowingly with a guy who's cheated on his previous partners, he's clearly doing the same thing to you and trying to blag his way out of it, so he gets to have his cake and eat it.

You have all the red flags there that you can't trust him... the ball is on your court now.

No, you can’t trust him. He lied and admittedly flirted with another woman. Definitely doesn’t help

his case that he’s cheated in past relationships either.

Just curious, but how did you come to find out that he had these two blocked numbers in his phone?

I don't see any reason to trust him. I guess you have to decide if you're ok with a boyfriend who goes out of town and flirts with other women (maybe more???) and then stupidly gets caught.

Yeah trust him. Right up to the point that he cheats on you. Then when you catch him he can be like babe it's not what it looks like, honestly I slipped and fell and my d### just landed in her ... Total crazy accident you would have to see it to believe it.

C'mon man!!

My boyfriend of 10 months went out of town for a weekend with his cousin. When he came home, there were two numbers in his phone that were blocked and didn’t have names. He acted as if he didn’t know how they got in there and called them. One didn’t answer but the other did. When they picked up it was a girl and he was still acting as if he didn’t know how her number got in his phone. He said “who is this? How’d your number get in my phone?” And she responded with “its brittany from this weekend. You let me put my number in your phone” he still acted as if he had no idea who she was or how it got in there and hung up the phone. I was furious about it. I told him random blocked numbers don’t just appear in your phone. So he said all he did was go to Walmart with both of these girls. I was still upset about it and told him I wanted to see the messages but refused to get a copy of them. The next day I asked him again about them and he kept to his story until a few hours later and said he talked to one of the girls for a while and they were flirting. I was very mad about this.

 

I don’t know what to do considering he was withholding all of this. I’m not sure whether to trust him and forgive.

 

He’s also lied about his past relationships. He’s cheated on almost every girl he’s been with. He also tells a lot of little lies that I can’t seem to understand why. It could be something as simple as hanging out with other girls or why he left in the middle of the night while I was asleep or if he’s playing online with his guy friends or some girls.

 

Please help !!! Thank you!!

How badly do you want to hang on to this guy?

Sorry, but as soon as you have to start playing the guessing game with a partner, the relationship is over. Clearly this guy doesn't respect you and can't be trusted. I've been there and it's exhausting to try to make it work when deep down you know that person is fooling around behind your back.

Let it go. It's not worth the anxiety and self-loathing. You can do better than a cheater.

This reminds me of the women on daytime talk shows who have to see actual footage of their boyfriends cheating before they believe it and even then they don’t leave.

I mean come on you caught him and you’re still staying, let’s be real here, him cheating isnt going to get you to leave so what is?

Op, just wanted to add, you’re saying that you don’t know whether to trust him and forgive, but I’m thinking you didn’t trust him before you found out about this other woman (plus you said he lies about other things and you don’t know why). Why else would you have been looking at his phone, found these blocked numbers, and questioned him about them (which is why I asked in my earlier post how you came to find these numbers in his phone).

The trust just wasn’t there, isn’t there. So why bother?

Not sure how you can happily continue on with this relationship when there’s no trust.

You’ll forever find yourself checking his phone and wondering who he’s been with and who he’s talking to.

It’s not a relationship worth having. Hoping you walk away from this guy.

Why are you even with this guy? I don't get it!

These things in themselves are red flags and deal breakers. Stop policing his phone and end this with dignity. Why play cat and mouse games with a player when you could date guys who want an exclusive relationship? The sooner you get rid of this immature liar the sooner you can start meeting and dating better quality guys.

He’s also lied about his past relationships. He’s cheated on almost every girl he’s been with.

I'm guessing this is not the first time he's done this, given that you somehow thought to examine his phone activity after a weekend away.

Why are you with this guy?

I told him random blocked numbers don’t just appear in your phone.

Can I just clarify:

You checked his block list?

So had he just deleted the contacts (and cleared his deleted log) you would not know?

If he was covering his tracks to hide things from you he would likely have done a better job.

He was surprised at the blocked numbers.

Then he went to WalMart with both of the women. (huh?)

Then he said he talked to one of them extensively and was flirting.

OK. We don't know what happened and it doesn't matter. What we know is that he is capable of hiding from you, and is willing to do it.

This man has no integrity. His commitment to you can be restated as "I will let you enjoy the illusion of exclusivity." He has no intention of being a proper partner.

He is not bf material. Period.

Play with him if you must. Do not rely on him, do not honour him with the company of your friends. Do not host him or stay at his for breakfast. Keep it moving.

Should you trust him???? Seriously? You even have to ask this question?

No. He cheated and lied about it. If you decide to believe those lies you are giving tacit approval for his cheating. Dump him and work on getting some self respect so it doesn't happen again.

So in the best of cases, you were snooping on his phone and investigating his blocked list to begin with. Worst case, you were doing so to the extent you'd noticed new blocked numbers from whenever you'd checked before. Does that mean I think you should trust him? Nope. But the question is kinda irrelevant when it doesn't seem to have been there to begin with. My $1,000 is on you sticking with him and helping yourself to his privacy / indulging in the drama and him continuing to be a shady character who's aware this is the kind of relationship he deserves.