How to help my brother out of another abusive relationship

[~Seraphim ~]

My brother was married to his ex wife for almost 20 years. They have three daughters 17, 15 and 12. He left his wife 5 years ago after years of emotional and psychological abuse also became physical .

A few years ago... maybe two years ago he met a girl at his work . Now she has insinuated herself into every part of his life . And at work she has risen in position to being the personal assistant of the CEO . Now in terms of profit my brother means way more to them as he is their top producing financial advisor . However she has the ear of the CEO and could make his life at work completely unbearable . She has threatened to do this if he ever breaks up with her . She also accuses him of cheating and he has to spend time with her 24/7or she’s like a total nutcase . No , they don’t live together and he won’t ever live with her because he has his oldest daughter . But she said she will only get worse and more jealous and this is exactly how she wants to be in exactly how it should be . My brother was telling my mother he feels like he’s in a prison and he just wants to disappear from life . Between her and his ex-wife he can’t take it .

I told him better start looking for a different financial institution to work at. And then quickly dump her. I don’t know what else there is to do .

[ThatwasThen]

She's basically blackmailing him into remaining with her. Me? I'd go to the CEO and tell him exactly what she said, ask him for his advice in getting out of the relationship without losing his job and see what he has to say. Even if he leaves the company and goes to another firm, she's still going to bad mouth him so I think it's best that he get his say into the chief first.

Can he record her being emotionally/verbally abusive so he can have proof should it come to that?

[~Seraphim ~]

She's basically blackmailing him into remaining with her. Me? I'd go to the CEO and tell him exactly what she said, ask him for his advice in getting out of the relationship without losing his job and see what he has to say. Even if he leaves the company and goes to another firm, she's still going to bad mouth him so I think it's best that he get his say into the chief first.

Can he record her being emotionally/verbally abusive so he can have proof should it come to that?

He could try recording her.

I feel so bad for him.🥺 He is my baby brother. Not that he is a baby he is 47 but you get what I mean.

[maew]

Ugh what a terrible situation for your brother to be in!

He may want to go to HR first to see what his options are... given his own position of power and what has been happening with the #metoo movement he needs to be very careful about how he handles this. As twt says...he should start saving ALL the text conversations if he hasn’t already so he can present evidence of her craziness. And talking to his CEO ahead of time to let him know what’s been going on is a good call.

[~Seraphim ~]

She REALLY caters to the CEO though and even does his personal shopping and orders his limousines etc. She is his girl Friday so not too likely he will get rid of his personal servant. She is also a single mom so she has that card to play too.

[bluecastle]

Double ugh.

I don’t have much experience with the corporate world, but I like the idea of Human Resources, all the more if there is some evidence (text, voice, whatever) to back it up.

Does the CEO know that she and your brother are dating?

[figureitout23]

That sucks, I'm sorry. I don't know about the legality of recording someone without their knowledge, but hopefully he can go to HR or something and report all of this.

As for his taste in women... someones gotta sit him down and lay it all out for him. I don't know, tell him to get a hobby or something, at least until his babies are out of the house. You know the saying, once shame on you, twice...

[~Seraphim ~]

That sucks, I'm sorry. I don't know about the legality of recording someone without their knowledge, but hopefully he can go to HR or something and report all of this.

As for his taste in women... someones gotta sit him down and lay it all out for him. I don't know, tell him to get a hobby or something, at least until his babies are out of the house. You know the saying, once shame on you, twice...

I totally get you and I know where it comes from. We watched our parents have an abusive relationship for years and years. My brother is very much a peace maker like our mom and I am very much more so the fighter not taking anyone’s crap.

[~Seraphim ~]

Double ugh.

I don’t have much experience with the corporate world, but I like the idea of Human Resources, all the more if there is some evidence (text, voice, whatever) to back it up.

Does the CEO know that she and your brother are dating?

My brother is extremely private so I doubt it.

[Hollyj]

He needs to do something. He should start with HR. He needs to get this documented, or things could get really bad for him. He does need a harassment suit filed against him, harming future employment. He then needs to lose this woman.