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Thread: Another murder by a "loving" romantic partner....why?

  1. #51
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sadly that may be precisely why they post here. They know at some gut level something is wrong and they can write anonymously because often friends and family don't believe them or are tired of hearing it..

    This is the cognitive dissonance thing: Their gut is telling them one thing but it is so unseemly they are looking for either confirmation that "it's just typical relationship issues, just talk to him about your feelings" if they are not ready to leave or if they are ready to leave, they are so brainwashed they just want someone, anyone to tell them they're not "crazy" and yes it's abuse and yes leave and how to go about it. .
    Originally Posted by Annia
    You've described 90% of the threads on ENA lol

  2. #52
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sadly that may be precisely why they post here. They know at some gut level something is wrong and they can write anonymously because often friends and family don't believe them or are tired of hearing it..

    This is the cognitive dissonance thing: Their gut is telling them one thing but it is so unseemly they are looking for either confirmation that "it's just typical relationship issues, just talk to him about your feelings" if they are not ready to leave or if they are ready to leave, they are so brainwashed they just want someone, anyone to tell them they're not "crazy" and yes it's abuse and yes leave and how to go about it. .
    Disagree. Abuse is not one size fits all, while one can find a pattern (the pattern of violence tends to be spot on) at its core its not always this text book calculated thing. Not all people going through abuse ‘want to be told they’re not crazy’ plenty know full well they aren’t, but have no where else to go. Many know full where they aren’t but are afraid to leave. The most dangerous time for an abused woman is right after she leaves an abusive relationship. I find it confusing given these facts that many are pushed to ‘leave now’ with absolutely no plan, leaving her completely vulnerable.

    The only way I could kinda agree is with maybe mental or emotional abuse, but even then far too often posters are advised they are being abused when they aren’t.

    That to me is irresponsible and ignorant.Not every boyfriend who says mean things is abusive and many times posters are coming here to vent and seek advice, not to be pushed into victimhood. That can be very confusing and scary.

    Theres nothing textbook about Chris Watts or Scott Peterson, that’s whats so fascinating, the facade being put on fooled everyone maybe even their victims.

  3. #53
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    LOL, your disagreeing with your own false statements
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Not all people going through abuse ‘want to be told they’re not crazy’ plenty know full well they aren’t

  4. #54
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Sorry I’m not understanding, Please clarify...

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