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Thread: He keeps feeding his family not wife first

  1. #1
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    He keeps feeding his family not wife first

    I married with one daughter. I just don't get it.. He ask me to pay half of the expenses.. But actually he can give his mom.. His sister.. His brother allowance..

    He said because I work.. I should bear half of the expenses as well.

    Now I can bear this situation. I feel sad.. Why?... Before we get married.. He said his mother has an income.. His sister and brother works.. But after get married.. I found all are bull. He pays for their living. The brother and sister only do shakeleg at home. Not earn any cents..

    Are all the carrier woman also bear the expenses? While her husband can give allowance to their family.. And he earns more than me.

    When i was single.. I have only need to pay my expenses.. My parent has their own. And they have never ask me for any cents.. They said all works is yours... and all their work is theirs..

    I really married the wrong man.
    Before married he really different.
    What should i do?

    Now I can really bear this feelings.. I earn I work I saved.. Everything that I have saved.. Somebody will enjoy it...

    I wish this year all from theirs.. Or one of them die soon.
    Huh!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If you say you married the wrong man and he pulled a bait and switch, then why not get a divorce?

  3. #3
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    I have daughter.. It is not easy to divorce.. I wish.. But why? The man does that.. How about you working woman? Have you encountered this problem?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    It's not clear what the actual problem is... is it that he is giving so much to his family that there is nothing left for the two of you? Are you being asked to pay more than your share? Was his paying for his family something he started doing after he got married? Or do you think he should be supporting you and not asking you to contribute financially?

    I've not encountered this specific problem, however my ex definitely had different ideas about money than I did. We decided to come to an agreement that we would put a certain percentage of our money into a joint account to cover expenses, and the rest we could do what we wanted with... therefore if he wanted to go and spend all his extra money on some nonsense it wouldn't affect me, and for the most part this helped us avoid fighting about money.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Heís a bad bad man.

    Did that help?

    Of course not.

    Youíre venting, you just said in no uncertain terms you arenít leaving so whatís the point?

    Youíre making a conscious choice to accept this, what does it matter if a bunch of strangers on the internet agree with you?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    she wants to know how she can Fix this problem...and wants to know if any of 'us' has experienced this. Basically what she's saying is, they share expenses, even tho he makes more than she does. Then his other money goes to supporting his mom, brother and (I think) sister. He said before they were married that they all had jobs. Then found out after they were married, that they didn't. That HE supported them. So she feels money that should be going to their FAMILY...is going to HIS family.

    But no...haven't been in that situation. I have a gf who's husband makes lots of money, and is always giving a bunch of money to his mother, cuz she likes to live the 'high' life and overspends. It really makes her mad....

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is this normal/traditional in your country/culture? Son/daughters taking care of elders? If you are legally married in your country do you co-own half of all the assets and money, income, bank accounts, etc? Or are the laws in your country that you do not have access to your marital assets?
    Originally Posted by haha
    Are all the carrier woman also bear the expenses? While her husband can give allowance to their family.

  9. #8
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    My problem is I couldn't let my husband treat me different..
    While he could give his family allowance.. But asked me to bear half of the expenses. And the expenses(groceries, maid)is ours.. It is not the expenses that to buy my things(cosmetic, bag, etc,)



    I feel sad.. Yeah.. Life is only once.. This too shall past.
    I need to do meditation to calm down my self.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is this normal/traditional in your country/culture? Son/daughters taking care of elders? If you are legally married in your country do you co-own half of all the assets and money, income, bank accounts, etc? Or are the laws in your country that you do not have access to your marital assets?
    Mother in law.. I can accept it.. But not all brother and sister...they are older than me.. Why they dont work.. Just stay at home watching tv.. This my problem.. Because I married with poor family.

    For the second life I will choose same level..


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