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Thread: Someone please help me!!

  1. #11
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    Cheating is cheating. Frankly, it doesn't matter if it was with a man or a woman, and where he met these people is immaterial as well.

    What matters is, you cannot stay in a marriage where you are being lied to, cheated upon, and you can't sleep at night because you don't have peace.

    Have you seen a therapist, someone to just talk to?

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Cheating is cheating. Frankly, it doesn't matter if it was with a man or a woman, and where he met these people is immaterial as well.

    What matters is, you cannot stay in a marriage where you are being lied to, cheated upon, and you can't sleep at night because you don't have peace.

    Have you seen a therapist, someone to just talk to?

    Right, man or woman doesnít matter at this point. Cheating is cheating no matter who heís with. I havenít slept more than 2 hours the last few days. I canít eat, Iím shaking and have a migraine that wonít go away. Iím going to my doctor for a full check up on Wednesday morning and searching for a therapist. I donít want to use the same one from before. But I may have to.

  3. #13
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    You need to get out of this. Immediately.

    I'm sorry, but your husband is gay. Terrible, that he cheated and lied to you for so long. But, you should have left after the first incident, unless you are cool with an open marriage?

    Seek an attorney, and end this. Now!

    I suggest you get tested. At once!

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Notsohappy83
    Thank you Wiseman2. I think I am in denial. Iím in pain. Iíve already set an appointment to get tested. I found in his online history he searched about a month ago symptoms of syphilis is men. My heart is literally broken. Heís not even protecting himself. Iím living in a nightmare. Weíve done therapy together but I definitely need my own to help me. Thank you
    I hope that your physical relationship has ended?

    You are not doing your children any favors by staying in this mess. He sounds incredibly selfish and deceptive. The fact that he s not protecting him is unbelievable, He is risking YOUR life. What a piece of garbage!

    There is nothing to deny. He has shown you over and over, that he is a liar and a cheat. When is enough , enough! The marriage ended long ago.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 12-31-2018 at 01:53 PM.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Notsohappy83
    I didnít get married to end in divorce but I feel stuck. I feel lonely, sad, angry and depressed. We have a 15, 12 and 9 year old and I canít break their hearts. They were so sad when he left before.
    He's cheating on your children, too. He's cheating on your whole family. It's terrible how he seems to think the world revolves around him, and how it should continue to do so.

    What happens to your children when he gives you an STD? What if he gives you AIDS? What if, somehow, he unknowingly passes a disease onto them through his negligence?

    It's very unfair.

    As Wiseman said, you didn't get married to be lied to and cheated on.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Speaking for myself only ... I would head for a lawyer so fast you wouldn't see me for dust and serve him with divorce papers. One thing I will never tolerate is cheating, and lying, and then more cheating and more lying. Seriously, what a jerk! He does NOT love you, totally disrespects you, disrespects your marriage, even disrespects the children. I would pack his bags for him and kick him out the door so fast he won't know what hit him and then he'll be free to carry on messing around.

    I'm sorry you're hurting, but please, show him you have enough self-respect by seeing a lawyer and filing for divorce.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    OP despite his level of denial... I think both you and your husband know he is gay... he is not ready to wrap his head around it yet and accept what is... and in the mean time is causing all sorts of damage to you and your kids.

    You are so right... he doesn't have to cheat, and you don't have to put up with his cheating. I understand it's a difficult decision... just know that he will never go back to being the way he was and if you leave, he might finally accept himself for who he is and stop the madness.

  9. #18
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    Thank you everyone for all your advice and thoughts. This week has been rough to say the least. I went to the doctor and got my test results back on yesterday.... everything came back negative Except that Iíve been exposed to both Herpes 1&2. Yesterday was very hard! I feel Iím slipping into a full blown depression. Iíve put my husband out and will be talking with an attorney this week. Iím so heartbroken. Again, thank you to everyone for the support through this absolutely rough time.

  10. #19
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    Oh my, I'm so sorry about all of this. So are you showing HSV1 and HSV2 antibodies?

    More important than that, you should be proud of yourself for how you are handling this. Separating from him, and talking with an attorney, are about the smartest things you could do right now. Your attorney will be of enormous help in separating your lives as you move forward.

    I can't imagine this. Do you have a therapist you can talk to? Friends, family?

  11. #20
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    Thanks. This is extremely hard. Iím finding a therapist to talk to because I need someone thatís just neutral you know. Iíve confided in my sister in law (sheís my best friend) about the events but not about the std. I donít know how I can ever tell anyone that close to me this. I feel so embarrassed and icky. All I know is Iíve been exposed to both but itís not active at this time. The doctor is back in today and Iíll talk with him more myself. He texted his on call nurse on Saturday and told her to call me with the information and honestly I was in such a state of shock I barely heard anything pass the fact that I have both. I do know his is sending in a 10 day round of antiviral meds so Iíll start those today. Just feel like Iím lost right now within my own thoughts and it hurts so bad.

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