How do Men handle their breakup usually?

I'm feeling like a complete wreck after a 10 year relationship ended. Haven't been able to eat or sleep properly.

But he's completely fine. He looks fine and he just goes through the day as usual like nothing really happened...

Who decided the break up?

If he did, then it's possibly he's already processed the breaking up and has come to terms with everything being over.

For you though, it's still a shock.

Do you have a support system nearby? Family, friends? The first while after a break up can be tough.

Okay, I just read your back story.

You did say that in your previous break ups that he was the one who had said he hadn't been happy. You patched things up but it sounds as though maybe he had never fully been happy?

Also, the fighting might have been too much for him and it numbed his feelings towards you so now that you are broken up, he's not as upset over it.

Ten years is a long time and I am sorry you're going through this. First love can be hard.

I will say though, that as much as it hurts right now, it is possible to live through and heal and be okay, eventually.

I hope you have family and friends who can help you and be there for you.

imho, in these long-term relationships, one person (or both) has had a long time to weigh the pros and cons of staying together so he has probably been processing the breakup while you were still together. It is also difficult to feel the whole brunt of the breakup if you are still living together. The finality of the breakup might not hit until he's living on his own.

I agree with Annie and Sherry.

The only other thing I will add is this has also been an on again off again relationship those are so hard to move on from for multiple reasons.

The best advice I can give you is to get some distance.

Its gonna be ok.

Research on this board. You will find men AND women who are still heartbroken and struggling YEARS after a breakup. And you will find men AND women who are fine in a month or two and start dating someone else with not so much as a backward glance.

It's not a "men" thing. It's a Your Ex thing. He had probably already had doubts, thought he should keep trying due to your long history together, then ultimately realized his doubts were not going away. He's had time to get used to being apart from you. You haven't. It really is that simple and yet complex at the same time.

Do you think it would make you feel better somehow if he were blowing up your phone with "Hi, how are you?" texts? Or if you heard from someone that's he's struggling or doing poorly?

This is not a Man v Women thing. Men and women both grieve and they do it differently and the same. Seen quick recoveries and some that never recover or still have not recovered. We are all different.

What you have is a perception v reality. (IMO). This relationship lasted about 3 years too long. You posted at year 7 that he was already not happy and you two got back together. The reason why you two got back doesn't matter, what matters now is that you two broke up and Ill be honest with you. This is the best thing that has ever happened to you. You asked how is it he looks okay and you are hurting. I can only guess but he probably checked out of the relationship long long ago. Or he is feeling that he is free or it hasn't hit him yet but at some point its going to hit him. How hard it hits him is still up in the air but right now, he is okay.

Recovery from a heartbreak is not a race. If he goes out and starts dating before you, it doesn't mean he 'won'. It doesn't mean he is better than you or doing better than you. I went back and read that he got out of a long term relationship then went to you. Maybe he never fully recovered from that relationship? But I digress

This is the best thing to happen to you. Might not seem like it now, but it is. You have room in your life and in your heart for that one guy you were meant to be with. It might take dating a few guys, meeting some good ones and meeting some jerks, but the right one for you will come around. And he can meet someone who is a better fit for him. From the sounds of it, neither you two were happy in the last 3 years so please see that even tho it hurts, its the best.

I think once you accept that, living with your X wont be as bad anymore. I know you will have pain but you might wake up tomorrow and see him differently as you see him today. Just know that you two are better off for this. I know it still hurts and right now it might not lessen the pain, but know that you will be okay, you will meet a guy and you will kiss, have romance, hug, have sex, and smile and be happy again. Just heal for now

Are you the one who is going to move out? Is there a lot of joint stuff to sever? It depends on who has more change ahead of them in order to actually end things and move forward. It's been dying for a while, so you may feel more of an impact if you haven't lined up a place to live or addressed the changes ahead.

We're currently living together so I can't really do NC until I move out. I also know that he's not my soulmate.