doesn’t usually text me at 3am...tonight he did

i woke up in the middle of the night and was scrolling through my phone when i received a text from the guy i’ve been dating for about a month. he said that he had just woken up from a sexy dream he had about me. he literally NEVER texts me at 3am or super late at night. we text during the day and everything is fine. he’s been away in his hometown for the past 3 weeks for the holidays and has been getting a little more sexual over text. nothing too crazy though. in his last relationship him and the girl never did anything sexual ever like no foreplay, no sex, nothing and he stayed with her for a year but that’s not why they broke up.

i don’t want to answer because he should know that i’m usually asleep but i’m also worried because he has literally never texted me at 3am before until tonight. is he just getting more comfortable with me that he can tell me these things?

Have you slept with him?

Have you slept with him?

No we have done nothing but kiss.

Well, do you want to sleep with him? It seems like he does.

What exactly are you worried about?

Well, do you want to sleep with him? It seems like he does.

 

What exactly are you worried about?

I’m a virgin and he knows that. We don’t want to rush into anything and obviously won’t have sex until we are both ready. It’s just surprising because while he’s been away he was telling me that when he gets back he wants to “fool around” but was very considerate of me and said he knows we haven’t gone that far yet and if i’m uncomfortable we don’t have to do that yet. I’m just worried that all of a sudden all he cares about is sex or sexual activities because he finally has a person that will do that with him unlike his ex.

I see.

Well, if you feel uncomfortable or pressured in any way, just tell him to stop sexual texts altogether and when he's back, talk to him about it.

Once I had broken up with a boyfriend (ages ago, I was 18 and a virgin at the time - he was 25) because we had been together for 2 months and when I went away on a holiday he said 'I'm sure we're going to sleep together when you're back'. His certainty annoyed me so much I broke up with him soon after.

A guy only texts that late for one of two things, to say he misses you if he's really in love or if he's horny.

I'm sure you can guess which one this guy is.

Does that mean he's more comfortable? Not necessarily, it might just mean he thinks he has more of a chance of having sex with you.

Being as you're a virgin, you decide if he get's to be that close to you and if he's worth being intimate with.

Though I will say, he sure isn't being romantic about this.

He's trying to change you. He's telling you stories about his "cold" ex so you (foolishly) try not to be "like that" and prove it. He wants to get in your pants pure and simple. If it's what you want, great. But follow actions such as horny 3 am text, not empty words and promises of "I'll respect you". He's testing you for how soon he can get in your pants, that's all. He's probing your responses.

I’m a virgin and he knows that. he was telling me that when he gets back he wants to “fool around”. I’m just worried that all of a sudden all he cares about is sex or sexual activities because he finally has a person that will do that with him unlike his ex.

He is trying to get sex from you.

Not cool to text at that hour. Disrespectful.

Not buying that he just "woke up" after having sexy dream, being you're a virgin and have never had sex, doubtful he would have disrespected you like that.

My guess is he was probably drunk and horny and not in his right mind.

Well, I don't think anyone who was (at the very least) smart, would send that kind of text to someone they have not yet had any carnal knowledge of. IMO a guy that was respectful and who wanted to impress you, would wait to send things like that after he knew you were a loving and committed couple or at the very least, you and he had already been intimate.

I'd talk to him about it but not over text and tell him that you are uncomfortable with sexting and don't want to be involved in it until you have at least been intimate. Just ignore that text as if you didn't get it until you see him. You can of course text him with other things like asking him how his vacation is going and what you've been up to if neither of you are able to actually use the telephone function on your had held device. (geeze I hate that you kids don't talk on the phone anymore. Texting is so cold and distant)

Not buying that he just "woke up" after having sexy dream, being you're a virgin and have never had sex, doubtful he would have disrespected you like that.

 

My guess is he was probably drunk and horny and not in his right mind.

I’m kinda agreeing with this.

But I’ve dated men who texted me late at night after waking up from a sexy dream. Honestly, it’s Something fun to wake up to, but we were already sexually active. I don’t think I would have liked it as much had we never slept together, in fact I know I wouldn’t. It’s all about comfort levels.

He’s pushing the envelope. The question is are you ok with it?

I think he probably just had a few drinks and was fishing for some sexy talk.

If he's been talking more about "fooling around" then I think it's safe to say that's exactly what he wants to do when he sees you again. Perhaps he thinks you'll warm up to the idea and sleep with him.

You have to decide if that is what you want too.