Talked to daughter

Wanted to make her aware that she has the power, and remove some from her dad who she lives with. Told her she's at the age she can decide she wants to live with me. I don't really think she would which I mentioned as well. But she would have to go to court to make the change.

Anyway, instead of feeling weak like I was feeling it gives me a sense of control too. I told her it would be a huge change, but she has said she wondered what she'd be like if she grew up with me instead. So I basically let her know she could change if she wanted.

I'm frustrated with his neglectful attitude. She had on crocks no socks no winter coat. It's 8 degrees today. She says she owns a winter coat just didn't think she'd need it. I was like are you sure? Do you need me to buy you one? She said no. She keeps saying no and I don't know her size anymore. I am really want to buy her shoes and clothes. I said why did your parents let you leave like this? Of course she doesn't know. But that was frustration talking. I almost took a picture.

What age is she?

The reason I ask is that if she is at the age where she can decide where she wants to live, then my guess is that she is also at the age where she can decide how she wants to leave the house, and have the natural consequence of being cold if she decides not to dress appropriately for the weather.

She is 16. Says she's not cold, and wouldn't be outside long. Which is true but things could happen and you should be dressed for the weather.

She is 16. Says she's not cold, and wouldn't be outside long. Which is true but things could happen and you should be dressed for the weather.

Yeah, trying to tell a 16 year old how to dress? Good luck!

I'm confused about one thing...you mentioned asking her if her "parents" let her leave like that. But you're her mother, correct? Did you mean her father and step mother?

Yes her dad and step mom because they are supposed to be parenting her. I think saying it that way makes her more respectful.

She is 16. Says she's not cold, and wouldn't be outside long. Which is true but things could happen and you should be dressed for the weather.

I was like that too. I just didn't feel the cold that much.

Try not to push too much when it comes to how she dresses, etc. It might push her away and she will like the idea of living with you even less.

I do hope she decides to spend more time with you though, even possibly live with you.

16 year olds typically don’t listen to squat when you tell them what to wear. Lord knows I didn’t .

16 year olds typically don’t listen to squat when you tell them what to wear. Lord knows I didn’t .

I didn't and my kids didn't either... they would rather freeze than admit their parents were right lol

You can't have it both ways. If she owns the power to decide where to live, then she's old enough to dress herself.

You may have given her a critical demo of why she would not want to move in with you.

She actually felt cared for, not criticized.