Fiance and I just broke up

Is there any advice of how to numb the immediate pain?

We've just decided that we were just no longer happy together but we still love each other very dearly.

We're currently living together so I can't really do NC until I move out. It's the middle of the night and I can't really text any of my friends to tell them till morning.

This pain is excruciating but I guess divorce would've been so much worse.

I can't imagine dating another person after this but I also know that he's not my soulmate.

Was it mutual? I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you have anyone you can stay with temporarily until you find a place to yourself instead of living with him?

It was eventually mutual but I can't help but feel like I've made a horrible mistake. My brain says its right but my heart won't listen to reason.

I wouldn't want to impose on any of my friends atm and my family is overseas atm so prob not. Besides I feel like a few days here will be good for me just to let it sink in as it's been quite sudden.

I've decided to tell our friends tomorrow so I can hopefully rip it off like a bandaid and not go back on our decision.

maybe you could try a temporary break

I'm so sorry WAlian, during the holidays makes it especially tough ((hugs))

I went through this too exactly three years ago, my advice is to move out asap, I did right before the new year 2016.

I stayed with a friend until I got my own apt.

I changed my phone and went compete no contact.

There is no numbing the immediate pain, doing so is only a temp fix, buries it only to have it resurface later and bite you in the a**.

Expect to go though various emotions while you heal -- love, hate, happiness, sorrow, sadness, pain, elation, there may be times you even feel you're over it!

Only to have the pain return once again.

Please be patient with yourself, you will get through it, I promise!

I did and three years later in a great relationship with new man! It's been 9.5 months now!

Continue reaching out here for support, ENA is great for that!

Good luck hun xxxxx

I am sorry.

Why did you break up? How long were you together?

I'm so sorry WAlian, during the holidays makes it especially tough ((hugs))

 

I went through this too exactly three years ago, my advice is to move out asap, I did right before the new year 2016.

 

I stayed with a friend until I got my own apt.

 

I changed my phone and went compete no contact.

 

There is no numbing the immediate pain, doing so is only a temp fix, buries it only to have it resurface later and bite you in the a**.

 

Expect to go though various emotions while you heal -- love, hate, happiness, sorrow, sadness, pain, elation, there may be times you even feel you're over it!

 

Only to have the pain return once again.

 

Please be patient with yourself, you will get through it, I promise!

 

I did and three years later in a great relationship with new man! It's been 9.5 months now!

 

Continue reaching out here for support, ENA is great for that!

Thank you so much for this Katrina, it means so much to me.

Was there anything you did that felt like it helped in the first few weeks?

Spunkmire: I suggested a break but he said it would rather just break up now. And I guess I agree, the uncertainty of a break makes me feel a little nervous and I don't want to get my hopes too high.

Hollyj: We broke up because we decided we weren't happy together anymore. The last few months have been fraught with arguments and we felt like we were walking around on eggshells around each other. Every year we would have an argument and wonder if we should stay together but we always each other enough to stay together though I guess we're not as happy as we can be. We've been together 10 years since uni and he was my first serious bf so this is going to hurt like a b****.

He broke up with you three years ago. He said he had never been happy in the relationship. What made you reconcile?

Please try to separate as soon as possible, and do not date for at least a year. You have a lot of stuff to work through.

You will meet someone, just give it time

If your relationship has been riddled with breakups, doubts, and general anxiety, you definitely are making the right decision to be done. The highs and lows can become addictive, but they are an indication that you are not in the right relationship. Stability may not be sexy, but it is needed for marriage to work. I agree with the others that you should move out ASAP and go NC.

Hi WAilen. Experienced this 5 months ago. My ex fiance broke up with me. we were together for 5 years.

I just want you to know that numbing the pain won't do any good. It will only come back after the numbing fades away. Hard as it may seem, the only way to deal with it is to actually experience it. Accept reality and experience the whole spectrum of emotions this break up has to offer. It is hard yes but there is an end to this dark tunnel you are in now. Never take for granted the importance of family, friends and other support systems like ENA. Take care of yourself, it is during these times that good changes can happen to your character if you want to. This is the time to look at the mistakes made and to learn from them. This is the time to forgive yourself and your partner for everything. This is the time to look within your soul and truly understand that everything you need is within you. There is no way to change what happened but please believe that it gets better. Do not numb the pain, embrace it and know how human you are.

NC is the best way to move forward. You have to take care of yourself and heal. So that in the future when another opportunity arrives, you are ready.