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Thread: My new partner went MIA on his trip.

  1. #11
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    There's usually only one reason a guy goes alone to Thailand. Has he been there before?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by irka000
    Thatwasthan, thank you ...you are right ...and I have no idea how this work but he said he bought local simcard to make it cheaper, yet when he contacted me ,it was still via WhatsApp and it showed as his usual name , not as an international number....bit mystery
    How well do you really know this guy? Have you had the exclusive talk?

    I dunno, I don't want to worry you because I know you are already filled with anxiety but I don't want to fill you with platitudes either that will cause you to ignore red flag, gut feelings.

    He went to a country known for its sexual/hedonistic sensibilities
    He didn't give you a number where you could reach him
    He hasn't been in contact for three days
    He didn't give you a time/date when he would try to contact you after his initial contact
    Do you know where he is staying?
    Have you had the exclusive talk?

    My point... just try your best to look at the big picture and be prepared. Can I ask you what you will do with him if he doesn't contact you the whole time he is away? Will you just start up with him again as if he did nothing against your own sensibilities?

  3. #13
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    He went to some village in Thailand and not some super tourist spot....apparently ...it is his frost time ...

  4. #14
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    What is "his frost time"?

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    There's usually only one reason a guy goes alone to Thailand. Sorry, I think he is very busy with the ladies.
    I have to say I really take issue with these assumptions, especially when advising people who are feeling jittery and insecure. Like, what does this serve but to exacerbate paranoia?

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I have to say I really take issue with these assumptions, especially when advising people who are feeling jittery and insecure. Like, what does this serve but to exacerbate paranoia?
    I agree. Like everyone who goes to Amsterdam is going for hookers and pot? Everyone who goes to Vegas is going to the bunny farms?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I have to say I really take issue with these assumptions, especially when advising people who are feeling jittery and insecure. Like, what does this serve but to exacerbate paranoia?
    Well, I have been to Thailand several times, and am only going on what I have observed.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by irka000
    He went to some village in Thailand and not some super tourist spot....apparently ...it is his frost time ...
    Is he going to volunteer? What is he doing in a village for almost two weeks?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I have to say I really take issue with these assumptions, especially when advising people who are feeling jittery and insecure. Like, what does this serve but to exacerbate paranoia?
    Well, the country's reputation proceeds itself and I think that the Op should listen to her gut which is clearly trying to tell her something. Its no more helpful to tell her to relax and trust things are copacetic when the facts state she should be cautious of his intent with her.

    It's early in their relationship and she barely knows him so to err on the side of caution is prudent. All may end up being fine but she must listen to her gut while keeping her heart off her sleeve until she knows him better.

    Originally Posted by irka000
    He went to some village in Thailand and not some super tourist spot....apparently ...it is his frost time ...
    Is he from that village or something? What is his purpose for going to that particular village and how did he even know to go there?

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I think itís normal since itís only been a few months and he was honest in telling you he needs space. Also if itís Thailand I assume he may be with other women - are you two exclusive ? Iím sorry you are worried. My sense is you are more attached to him than he is to you for now. Give him twice the space he seems to need.
    Agree with Bat all the way on this.

    Do you know anything about Thailand? Interesting that that is where he chose to go.

    Many years ago I had about four dates with a man (no sex) who then went to Thailand for two weeks, also alone.

    He did not contact me at all while gone, I did not expect him to, and he contacted me when he returned, it was Christmas Day actually when he returned.

    We resumed dating but we soon realized weren't right for each other, so stopped.

    He never shared what happened in Thailand but my brothers filled me in with what goes on over there, so OP, try to detach during this time.

    If things were good prior to him leaving, there is no reason why when he returns, you can't simply pick up where you left off.

    Do not grill him about his trip, if he wants to share, be open to listening though.

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