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Thread: Over it

  1. #1
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    Over it

    I had a casual situation for over a year. He said he met someone else and it ended. He said we could still be friends. I've gone through the loss of the friendship and to be honest with my emotions it really felt like a breakup. I was hurt he didn't end it first before getting with someone, acting distant then telling me how serious they were getting (in a few weeks after we were last physical). I just never thought he'd handle it like that so it was tough to swallow.

    However, I didn't do no contact because it was casual and very complicated. At first I wasn't mad, just hurt. Then I went through the anger stage and thought everything over. He called once right after it ended to talk about all these future business plans then had initiated texting a few times. Last was a day after Xmas, saying merry Xmas even thought it was over. I responded being very happy to be traveling and amongst family but kept it short no opening for dialogue. I was genuinely happy and responded out of happiness but not from him texting me. At this point my feelings towards it all has changed significantly. We are pursuing similar careers so I didn't want any hostility between us (most likely we'll run into one another or even have to work together) but I don't want the friendship anymore. It's really just an acquaintance-ship now. Nothing deep very light. Not a real friendship so I feel what's the use. Once I cleared my head and emotions I realized it's nothing I want or need to try to save. But I'm wondering how should I go about it.

    I feel by ignoring tags and communication might come off rude and bipolar since I seemed ok with it at first but I just need suggestions on how to best handle it. I know he won't expect it but I just want to forget about the whole dysfunctional ordeal.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Write him en email or text saying something like..Dear so and so, I have appreciated our time together but I feel as though that is now done. I wish you the best with everything and I hope you understand about me preferring if we don't stay on contact. No hard feelings.

    Or something around abouts with the same ideas.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    And thatís the biggest problems with casual / fwb type relationships. No matter how hard you try someone always gets hurt

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    Yeah I've learned my lesson I'm just glad I got through all of the emotions. I even felt abandoned because it was out of nowhere.

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  6. #5
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    Thanks. That'll work.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LivingLife1
    I feel by ignoring tags and communication might come off rude and bipolar since I seemed ok with it at first but I just need suggestions on how to best handle it. I know he won't expect it but I just want to forget about the whole dysfunctional ordeal.
    He text early am asking how I was this week (some days after the last time). I felt comfort to hear from him. He asked what I was doing and I told him the exciting news, got really excited and text back more about moving away for work. I didn't think much of it but he just stopped texting and never said " got to go " or responded to the info he asked about. It's making me not want the friendship because it's just not the same. I don't feel the genuine encouragement.
    Curious why you feel the need to give him more respect than hes given you...

    However, I didn't do no contact because it was casual and very complicated.
    To me, this would actually be the number one reason to initiate NC. He ended things with you, hes dating someone else, hes attempting to use you as an emotional crutch, which statistically speaking will help him succeed in his current relationship since he knows he has a safety net.

    Think about it, think about the cold hard facts, emotions aside, so again I ask, why do you feel the need to give this man more respect than hes giving you?

    Reaching out to tell him youre not reaching out feels to me like an excuse to reach out to him again, to get his attention, is he ignoring you again?

    I truly dont see the point of contacting him again.


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