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Thread: Second chances v moving on

  1. #11
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    You know you can date new people, right?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    I remember you and your...quirks...distinctly as well as the last relationship and the...interesting... way all that went.

    I think you need to be single to work on your self esteem.

    None of this is cute, honestly it could be interpreted as a cry for help.

  3. #13
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    My vote goes for moving on and staying single for at least a year and working on getting yourself in a mentally healthier place before embarking on any relationship. Maybe even some therapy will be good too.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    You need to stay single and get therapy. For at least a solid year.

    You have lots of issues you need to work passed. Lack of confidence and constant need for attention are not positive attrubutes.


  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Originally Posted by smittenkittn
    Guy 5 is my most recent ex, if you can call the brief time we were seeing each other a relationship. He seemed to have a lot of anger at that time, mostly to do with his previous relationship, and he also had a bunch of family stress which made it too hard at that time.
    Recycling angry jerks is not the solution to your loneliness, dating dilemmas or self esteem. Getting on some higher quality dating apps (at least one paid site, not just hookup apps like tinder) with a new fresh well written profile and good recent pics is at least some ray of light in all this. Of course so is expanding your horizons in real life mostly for yourself but also to mingle with higher quality people. Your girlfriends do not have to approve of your dates. Stop seeking that out.
    Originally Posted by smittenkittn
    I'm better off to give guy 5 another chance and just see how it goes. I won't feel so neglected when he's busy.

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Lol...... And those comments are exactly why I don't much value the "advice".

    Sure I was feeling insecure and unattractive a few months back. I could have spent a fortune on therapy to convince myself that I'm still loveable no matter what I look like.

    Or I could do what I actually did, get a couple of facials, invest in some better skincare, lose a few kilos and genuinely like what I see when I look in the mirror.

    But that's all good. I spent last night with guy 5,we lay in the sun and talked and talked all day today, and we're going away together for new years. I don't think he's perfect by any means - the initial rush has well worn off, part of me even wonders if I'm still as attracted as I once was, but perhaps that's a good thing. I was quite happy sitting around with him in my active wear and no makeup and felt totally comfortable. Which I think is how it's MEANT to be.

    Anyway, I do appreciate some of the earlier comments form Bluecasrle especially, it was good to get a bit more clarity. Also to not feel guilty about letting down the others.

    Re guy 5 being angry, yes I did see bits of that in him previously but it was a really hard time for him, in more ways than I even realised at the time (he's told me more since) and as I said it never got directed at me. I don't feel like I'm in love but I definitely enjoy his company and happy to keep spending time with him and see what happens. And if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. But at least I'll know I gave him a try.

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