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Thread: Possible to get her back?

  1. #1

    Possible to get her back?

    Hi,

    so about a month and a week ago, me and this girl who I’ve had a massive crush on since December last year started dating. We were close friends and once I admitted to liking her, she told me she liked me as well for our conversations and always making her feel happy. So we started dating and it was going really well. We were talking a lot, going out a fair bit and it seemed so well as we were hugging and holding hands and sent each other love hearts through texts. Until about two weeks into dating, after school we hung out and it went fairly well. We held hands and it acted out as a normal date. About an hour later, we had a normal conversation through text (joking around etc.). But then another hour later, she broke up with me. she told me “She wasn’t ready for a serious relationship”. I was heart broken and I did what everyone shouldn’t do: beg and annoy her to the point where it scared her. That was a huge mistake. I really want to learn from my mistakes and try and get back together because what we had was special. we never fought, we were always happy and it just shocked me that twelve hours prior to us breaking up, we were hugging and laughing. A couple of days ago I told her I was sorry for spamming her to the point of freaking out and she said it was fine. Yesterday, we quickly messaged each other on what we got for Christmas but that was it. It’s been awkward at school but it finished two weeks ago and a couple of days ago, we were both invited to a friend’s party and I noticed that when I did a joke or two, she laughed in the background. So I’m just wondering, is it possible for us to get back? I’ll do whatever I can. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    She never communicated to you if you did anything wrong. She only said she wasn't ready for a serious relationship, so you're going to have to take that at face value. She wants to enjoy her youth by hanging out with friends and nothing more. You two have two different relationship goals with each other, so it will never work how you want it to.

    There is a possibility you went overboard and you were smothering. I don't know. I didn't see you in action. If that was the case and you ignored the rest of your life and made her the sole center of your universe, she might have freaked out. If so, you can learn how to keep up with guy friends and other activities besides having a gf in the future.

    If you did nothing wrong, it's just how I said in the first paragraph and you will have to start pouring your emotional energy into someone who shares your goals. She's just a friend now, so don't treat her any different than any other friend. Have a great new year!

  3. #3
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    Buddy you are young. I know it seems like the end of the world. You need to honor yourself and her by leaving her alone. The only thing you can do is just go no contact. You may not think it but I assure you, you’ll be ok. Don’t ever lose emotional self control again. Work on yourself buddy go to the gym socialize with new people. You’ll get over this in no time and once you do all that she’ll most likely come back.

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    Bro you went all Captain cling on her and that is extremely off-putting to most women. You can be Loving but you can't be whiny while doing it.

    Maybe if you see her sometime and you can sneak in a quick conversation just say hey sorry about being clingy... I'm not normally like that. Hope you're doing well, and then bounce. Be busy, go out with other people or friends. But don't pine after her... That'll just further cement your status as Captain cling.

    Maybe she'll give you a second chance if she decides she wants a relationship and she's seen that you can exist without whining about her.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Just back up a bit. She's giving you the info you need that things were moving too fast, too much too soon. Don't smother her. Don't text as much. Just ask her out on dates, be affectionate but not clingy or too forward.
    Originally Posted by higgityriggi
    she told me “She wasn’t ready for a serious relationship”. It’s been awkward at school but it finished two weeks ago and a couple of days ago, we were both invited to a friend’s party and I noticed that when I did a joke or two, she laughed in the background.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    P.S. If you acted like that after the breakup after only a 5 week period of dating, I imagine she'd be terrified of giving it another go. I disagree about convincing her you're worth another go-round. Respect her wishes. The last thing a woman needs is a man going for what HE wants when she's spoken very clearly about HER wishes.


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