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Thread: Online Dating: How many chances to give someone?

  1. #21
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    Next. Don't be so desperate that you are willing to accept this.

    If some dude showed up and his appearance did not match the photos, I would bolt. I think it is very disingenuous. Any time someone brings up an ex on the first meet, this should be a huge red flag.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    She believes that single women over 40 should be over the moon when someone is interested in them. We are very different. I love her to death, though :)
    LOL! Really! Is she married?

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Thank you all.

    He texted me good morning, beautiful, when's a good time to call and I texted back good morning but I don't think we're a good match, good luck.

    He never replied and I felt relieved.
    Good for you.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    LOL! Really! Is she married?
    Divorced twice and just came out of a relationship.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Divorced twice and just came out of a relationship.
    Is this stuff okay for her, or only her friends?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Is this stuff okay for her, or only her friends?
    She is the same way about her own relationships. I mean she didn't even like her last boyfriend at first. She was just happy she got the attention.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    She is the same way about her own relationships. I mean she didn't even like her last boyfriend at first. She was just happy she got the attention.
    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    She believes that single women over 40 should be over the moon when someone is interested in them. We are very different.
    That's very sad (and rather pathetic actually) I'm glad you don't agree or follow that advice!

    I'm very curious as to her thought process though; 40 is not old, a woman can still be very beautiful (and youthful looking) at 40 so not quite getting where's she coming from with that statement.

    She hardly needs to settle for any Tom, D*ick or Harry who comes along expressing interest in her, that's just sheer lunacy!

  9. #28
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    I think the common refrain is that women over 40 who want a child are basically out of luck - when I was almost 39, I had an argument over the phone with a very famous matchmaker -I called her company because they kept sending me misleading/scammy "free" invitations to events. She got on the phone and said "good luck finding a man in [my very immense city where I did all of my dating]". It's not about beauty as much as it's about fertility and ticking clocks. I had a first meet with a guy (who is still single in his 50s now) who had dated several of my friends a handful of times and he commented that he'd met a 40 year old woman on a first meet and was surprised to hear that she still wanted to try for a baby (I was about 37 at the time).

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    She is the same way about her own relationships. I mean she didn't even like her last boyfriend at first. She was just happy she got the attention.
    I would not follow any more of her advice.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Yeah, I think the lesson here is that your friend, however well-meaning, is not going to be your Svengali for navigating dating-land.

    She operates from the scarcity mindset—which, hey, fine for her if that means a snoozy, teeth-grating 30 minutes with a bitter, deceptive baldie is cause for making plans for another trip to the dead zone with the same rusty anchor.

    Sounds like you've got more of the abundance mindset, or at least a realistic one, which will serve you better out there in the land of swiping. Way more attractive, that. Might mean having to let down the occasional misguided "hey beautiful" reach out, but so it goes.

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