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Thread: Online Dating: How many chances to give someone?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    As some of you know, I've recently started using a dating site. My first experience didn't go very well (there's a thread about that) but with the second guy who contacted me things seemed to be going well. We talked 2-3 times online and then on the phone and then he asked me to meet. The meeting was yesterday but I wasn't thrilled.

    First of all, he didn't look like his pictures at all. I had seen pictures of a tall, thin guy with lots of hair and I met a short, fat, bald guy. He wasn't ugly but he wasn't the person in the pictures either (or maybe they were old pictures and he's changed a lot since then, I couldn't tell).

    The conversation was ok but after half an hour I couldn't wait to get out of there. He wasn't rude or anything but no sense of humour, still angry with his ex (long story that he told me in detail) and even when we talked about films and music our tastes were very different.

    On the plus side, he's close to my age, also single with no kids, he lives close to me, he was polite (insisted on paying for my coffee and asked if he could drive me home - I declined), he has a good job (so do I) and said he wants to see me again.

    He's supposed to call me today and my best friend thinks I should give him one more chance and that, perhaps, the second meeting will be better but I don't feel like seeing him again.

    So, those of you who have tried online dating, what do you think? When someone is not your type, do you meet them once more to make sure or tell them thanks but no, thanks?
    No. You're not even remotely attracted, and he was deceptive. There is not good reason to see him again. Be ruthless. Only accept 'wow'.

  2. #12
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    I'm in my mid-50's, so I date from a similar pool.

    Pictures from so long ago they're unrecognizable + smash-talking their ex + little to no sense of humor = no second date for me.

  3. #13
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    Thank you all.

    He texted me good morning, beautiful, when's a good time to call and I texted back good morning but I don't think we're a good match, good luck.

    He never replied and I felt relieved.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Thank you all.

    He texted me good morning, beautiful, when's a good time to call and I texted back good morning but I don't think we're a good match, good luck.

    He never replied and I felt relieved.
    Perfect. I'd have texted something similar. Good for you for not simply ignoring him. I, too, like to let the guy know, so that we can both move on.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Thank you all.

    He texted me good morning, beautiful, when's a good time to call and I texted back good morning but I don't think we're a good match, good luck.

    He never replied and I felt relieved.
    He probably knows the drill. Most likely not his first rodeo.

    And "good morning beautiful" after one date? Yikes! I mean, I'm sure you are beautiful but sounds like he's trying for an "insta-relationship". Maybe to soothe the pain from his breakup or to make the ex jealous, who knows.

    Bullet dodged IMO.

    And if your friend thinks all women over 40 should leap on any guy who sneezes in their direction, offer to give that guy her contact info.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Perfect. I'd have texted something similar. Good for you for not simply ignoring him. I, too, like to let the guy know, so that we can both move on.
    Yes, perfect - short and polite and thoughtful.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Thank you all.

    He texted me good morning, beautiful, when's a good time to call and I texted back good morning but I don't think we're a good match, good luck.

    He never replied and I felt relieved.
    You said the right thing of course, but oh man, my heart breaks for the guy reading that.

    Sounds like he didn't see that coming at all, that's so hard!

    I hate sending those types of emails (or in person) even though it's necessary; I recall a man I had a few dates with who was SOOOOOO nice but just not right for me (I just wasn't attracted) and he was like over the moon about me, and when I told him I didn't think we were the right fit (I told him in person), the look on his face!

    That look still haunts me to this day!! Breaks my heart, although I'm sure he's WAY over it by now, lol.

    With other guys, I didn't care so much; it's the nice guys who have no clue it's coming that I feel bad about.

    But you did the right thing and what you said was spot on.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    You said the right thing of course, but oh man, my heart breaks for the guy reading that.

    Sounds like he didn't see that coming at all, that's so hard!

    I hate sending those types of emails (or in person) even though it's necessary; I recall a man I had a few dates with who was SOOOOOO nice but just not right for me (I just wasn't attracted) and he was like over the moon about me, and when I told him I didn't think we were the right fit (I told him in person), the look on his face!

    That look still haunts me to this day!! Breaks my heart, although I'm sure he's WAY over it by now, lol.

    With other guys, I didn't care so much; it's the nice guys who have no clue it's coming that I feel bad about.

    But you did the right thing.
    Well, this guy posted inaccurate pictures and ranted about his ex . I don't think I'd slot him into the "nice guy" category.

    But yeah, it's tough for genuinely nice people to say or do something that, while well intentioned and honest, could possibly cause pain to another person.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Well, this guy posted inaccurate pictures and ranted about his ex . I don't think I'd slot him into the "nice guy" category.
    Shoot I forgot about that, you're right; he's not so nice then, so I take back what I said about feeling bad for him.

  11. #20
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    Excellent. Clean simple quick and easy.
    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    I texted back good morning but I don't think we're a good match, good luck.

    I felt relieved.

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