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Thread: Divorce or Stay?

  1. #1
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    Divorce or Stay?

    I've been with my husband since I was 20 years old and now I'm 33. We have a 2-year-old together. Prior to my pregnancy, he cheated, lied, and neglected me. I was young and dumb, and I let love blind me from leaving him. A month before I got pregnant, I had thoughts about leaving him....and then I got pregnant the following month. We barely have sex and I've talked to him about this before. About 1-2 weeks ago, I found out he's been paying for premium porn clips. So that's why he's been neglecting me. I'm not passionate about him anymore and want to get divorced. However, we have a 2-year-old together. He's a great father. What to do?
    Last edited by DarleneLove; 12-27-2018 at 12:28 PM. Reason: Adding more content

  2. #2
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    Can you do without sex and compassion for the next 16 years. If yes, stay in a loveless marriage with a disrespectful guy. If no, then consult with a lawyer about filing for temporary custody of the dwellings. Either way, keep copies of any texts, screenshots, emails of his "interactions" with the people he's cheating on you with.

    And BTW, 3 years ago, only makes you 30, so how were you young and dumb then, but not now? I'm just saying don't blame being young and dumb as a reason why you stay with someone for 13 years.

  3. #3
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    He can be a father without being married to you. If you are unhappy and he is not meeting your needs, you should get out. You can make a better life for your daughter if you are healthy and happy than you can if you are miserable with someone who neglects you. Many children are raised happily with divorced parents who generously cooperate with one another on their care.

  4. #4
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    My ex husband is a terrific father to our two kids. Us getting divorced did not turn him into an awful father.

    If your child's father is an excellent father he will continue to do so.

    And trust me, my kids, while sad about the divorce, grew up much healthier living in two peaceful households than in what I'd characterized as the "DMZ" because while active battles were not going on in the family home it was still a war zone. My kids turned out great. Yours will too, as long as you decide to be mature about co-parenting.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Are you asking for permission to divorce him? Only you can decide that.

    If you have tried to repair the damage in the marriage and it isn't working then try again. If he is not wiling to work on it then you are left with two options. Stay and be miserable or divorce so you both can one day meet someone new and live a happy life.

    If you have totally checked out then there is no reason to even try, just start planning the divorce.

    A lot of times in these situations someone new has entered the picture. Is there someone showing interest in you?

    Lost

  7. #6
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    Men do talk to me, but I'm not interested in them. However, I met someone who I'm infatuated with. He made me feel things that I haven't felt in years. There is no way I would be with him though because of various reasons. I doubt he even feels the same way. My point is, now I'm realizing that I deserve respect and deserve to be with someone who I feel passionate about. If I do decide to get divorced, I might stay single for a year or two so I can work on rebuilding my self confidence.

  8. #7
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    Many split who have children. You should not stay in a loveless and sexless relationship for the child, as it is damaging to her. This guy is a cheat and a liar, it's time to end the marriage.


    Definitely stay single for at least a year. Do not introduce your child to any perspective partners for at least six months.

  9. #8
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    "My point is, now I'm realizing that I deserve respect and deserve to be with someone who I feel passionate about."
    - Yes, but allowing predator/parasite into your life is the wrong way of doing it.

    Challenge your husband.

  10. #9
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    How do I challenge him?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is this a coworker, friend, neighbor? How do you know this crush? How did he "make you feel things"? It seems this crush/mini-emotional affair or whatever it is simply highlights how unhappy your marriage is.
    Originally Posted by DarleneLove
    I met someone who I'm infatuated with. He made me feel things that I haven't felt in years. There is no way I would be with him though because of various reasons.

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