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Thread: Is it normal to go dark for the holidays (online dating)?

  1. #21
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    Very normal, nobody wants to be the loner on match.com on Christmas day - but January 2nd+ is online dating peak season for a few weeks, so use it to your advantage.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by LiteWait
    Ok. Decided to double message as what's the harm:

    ___, hope you enjoyed the holiday.
    Seems to me we’ve traveled different roads ending up heading in the same direction. Sure we’d learn more about each other in ten minutes in person than we could messaging.
    I’d love to drive up and meet you for coffee or drink…what do you think?

    Comments?
    I think it's excellent.

  3. #23
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    Well it worked, got her to do a bit of self-disclosure in that her hesitation was distance (couple hours away) even though we both work mobile and I am not tied at all to where I live now (actually her area was one in the mix to relocate to). Made a meet-up time for this week, next problem I haven't dated since my divorce (5 years) now that should test my resolve!

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Have fun. Make it about a sort of get to know you meet. Don't talk about your past, divorce, ex etc, except if asked answer as briefly as possible. Where are you going to meet if there is a 2 hr difference?
    Originally Posted by LiteWait
    Made a meet-up time for this week, next problem I haven't dated since my divorce (5 years)

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by LiteWait
    Ok. Decided to double message as what's the harm:

    ___, hope you enjoyed the holiday.
    Seems to me we’ve traveled different roads ending up heading in the same direction. Sure we’d learn more about each other in ten minutes in person than we could messaging.
    I’d love to drive up and meet you for coffee or drink…what do you think?

    Comments?
    I would come meet you if you wrote that to me. Maybe leave out the “seems to me... line but otherwise it’s great.

    Just remember that these people barely know you and you didn’t know them a week ago, so no one owes anyone anything.

    But good luck! I think what you said above is great!

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by LiteWait
    Well it worked, got her to do a bit of self-disclosure in that her hesitation was distance (couple hours away) even though we both work mobile and I am not tied at all to where I live now (actually her area was one in the mix to relocate to). Made a meet-up time for this week, next problem I haven't dated since my divorce (5 years) now that should test my resolve!
    Good luck and have fun! :-)

  8. 12-31-2018, 01:44 PM

  9. #27
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    I appreciate all your input. We'll meet Thursday, didn't really set the "terms" for the meet up other than it's a a restaurant (I am driving up 2 hours).

    Since this my first online date (and my first date in 30 years) , debating sending a follow up the day before, trying to think of a way to "set the table", rather not negotiate the terms when I get there.

    Sure she isn't expecting an all night event, but at 6pm don't want to just order a drink when we likely we will both be hungry.

    I am thinking of limiting to 1.5 to 2 hours is that normal?

  10. #28
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    I would recommend following up with specifics now, not later. Let her know you're thinking about 6 o'clock as the best time for you, and if she can recommend any place good to meet. She knows the area better than you. If she has difficulty with this one, you can ask for her major crossroads near work/home and see what you can find via Google that's close to her. Then you can touch base again the day of or the day before you're looking forward to it, if you haven't really exchanged texts otherwise, just to be sure everybody is still on board.

    I always get really nervous about people who don't communicate before a date (online) because it typically means they're going to no-show or bail, so I would recommend at least the "still showing up" call/text, particularly for your benefit, as you don't want to drive 2 hours only to find she pulls the no-show because she hadn't heard from you or make sure she's not planning to bail.

  11. #29
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    ok, might as well turn this into a saga...

    met last night and lasted 2 hours at a restaurant drinks and appetizer. actually went pretty well I did have to curb myself from talking to much here and there (we are both introverts I guess I am less so). agreed to meet again she is taking a trip so it will be a few weeks. got a bit past who are you, what do you do...type of questions ... to more about relationships (in general) which I found refreshing because we could open up a bit.

    only thing that bothered me is her dated pictures could not have been correct, clearly she isn't lying about her age, but a photos from 2016 might well be from 2010 or earlier, they weren't altered and were not professionally done, just the dates seem way off. actually it really doesn't matter to me as I didn't messages for her photos anyway I did it because she and I match up really well, and she's cute to me anyway.

    Just wonder is this a common thing women do on their profiles? I've notice a lot of variations on many women's profiles, in some cases I even question whether its the same person!

  12. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    People rarely look exactly like their photos. If you find her attractive in person and have a second date set up, who cares? Try not to get into the "these must be ancient/doctored pics on dating apps" grind and mindset. It's not eBay, lol. Even then...things don't look like 3D in 2D. That's the point of the initial meet anyway. Even if their pics are very representational, what happens in person in terms of chemistry is all that matters.

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