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Thread: Chapter 3 my life with my gentle giant

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    Struggling this week. Just so much going wrong, doesn't help aunt flow arrived to make me hurt, ears are sore, head is swimming. Feel so unwell. Mentally I feel like such a failure. I wish I had tried harder to work full time, despite the fact I can't hear half tbd time and the pain from my ear infections making it impossible to drive. I'm desperate for my own space. Share my mum's room when I start there two nights a week (she sleeps on sofa cause I go to bed too early) and at partners parents if I wake up early there's nowhere I can go to not wake him up. I hate it. I feel so lost and constrained like I'm stuck in a lift suffocating.
    Having car troubles and now owe my mum yet more money cause I needed two new tyres. Feels like this hell is never ending..

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    We're having a bit of a conflict atm. I'm getting extremely depressed and just want some recognition that things are difficult. My cat is ill, had all the signs for aids or leukaemia, he kept saying it'll be fine, not trying to comfort me out anything. Luckily blood test came back clear. My life is revolving around him. We moved because he got depressed about lack of money. Didn't wait for me to start a job I had lined up. We moved into his parents, where he is happy and content, his childhood home. He doesn't get how difficult it is for me. And he complains when I don't get stuff done. Ok last is understandable, but I feel so low and like I have zero support. Ugh. I hate depression.

  3. #13
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    You are saying its so hard living with his family, but yet he put up living with yours.

    I am natural an introvert who likes my space and i struggled moving back in with my parents - but i dealt with it by being able to have a few hours home alone because i was on a different schedule, plus i would go to the coffee shop, the park to read, etc, or do things solo that was great for my sanity.

    I think instead of running back to mommy, you talk about what your timeline is for the both of you to move out of his family's home and be on your own together again. I mean, its not like you are moving somewhere alone to have your space -- you won't have space living with mom, it will just be a different person and its a little hypcritical to say its not okay to live with his family because you like space, but then swap his for yours.

    you can't blame him for moving in with his folks when he had financial troubles because you followed willingly -- you could have stayed behind in a smaller place, gotten a rooomate or went to your family's. Its not his fault - you chose, too.

    I think instead of just bouncing from one situation to the next together you should decide what your trajectory should be. are you working towards establishing a household - getting married, setting down some roots, or are you just going to pingpong between your families?

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Butterfly~Wrists
    We're having a bit of a conflict atm. I'm getting extremely depressed and just want some recognition that things are difficult. My cat is ill, had all the signs for aids or leukaemia, he kept saying it'll be fine, not trying to comfort me out anything. Luckily blood test came back clear. My life is revolving around him. We moved because he got depressed about lack of money. Didn't wait for me to start a job I had lined up. We moved into his parents, where he is happy and content, his childhood home. He doesn't get how difficult it is for me. And he complains when I don't get stuff done. Ok last is understandable, but I feel so low and like I have zero support. Ugh. I hate depression.
    honestly, feline leukemia is not a death sentence - many cats live a normal lifespan or just slightly shorter lifespan with it. He is not a bad person to tell you that things will be fine ie. manageable. If your cat was being tested for an inoperable tumor, then that's something else.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    You are saying its so hard living with his family, but yet he put up living with yours.

    I am natural an introvert who likes my space and i struggled moving back in with my parents - but i dealt with it by being able to have a few hours home alone because i was on a different schedule, plus i would go to the coffee shop, the park to read, etc, or do things solo that was great for my sanity.

    I think instead of running back to mommy, you talk about what your timeline is for the both of you to move out of his family's home and be on your own together again. I mean, its not like you are moving somewhere alone to have your space -- you won't have space living with mom, it will just be a different person and its a little hypcritical to say its not okay to live with his family because you like space, but then swap his for yours.

    you can't blame him for moving in with his folks when he had financial troubles because you followed willingly -- you could have stayed behind in a smaller place, gotten a rooomate or went to your family's. Its not his fault - you chose, too.

    I think instead of just bouncing from one situation to the next together you should decide what your trajectory should be. are you working towards establishing a household - getting married, setting down some roots, or are you just going to pingpong between your families?
    Wait a moment. At no point has he ever lived with my family. I stay at my mum's two nights a week because I work closer to there. Our cats also live at my mum's. One of our cats passed away shortly before moving, no reason for him to die, so yeah being concerned my car might have aids was perfectly valid and he should have been supportive rather than dismissive.

    We have a time line, it's when he gets a job, which could see us moving 3 hours away. Starting from scratch with no support network. We haven't ping ponged anywhere. We would have been engaged by now had things not gone wrong before. We also have savings towards a mortgage.
    I had very little choice but to move with him. My job hadn't started, I suffer from severe health issues and can only work part time. Housemates wouldn't have improved my situation and we'd be living 2 hours apart.

    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    honestly, feline leukemia is not a death sentence - many cats live a normal lifespan or just slightly shorter lifespan with it. He is not a bad person to tell you that things will be fine ie. manageable. If your cat was being tested for an inoperable tumor, then that's something else.
    He was being tested for aids as Well as leukaemia.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    Update!! So my partner for the job 3 hours away!!! Good money too. Really good news, going up next Friday to have a nosy, he starts in two weeks! I think he's either going to stay with his sister briefly, or commute sometimes for the first month or two which is fine, I'll be staying at my mum's still cause it's too much in fuel for me to stay at his sister's and come back down to my job, when we get a house I shall get a job up there. I'm anxious as I don't really know the area, but so excited,a new chapter and there's still some lovely countryside up there.. be weird going from very south west England to the to east of the south west lol.

  8. #17
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    I hope it is an exciting new experience for you!

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    So I've not updated in a while..
    It's been a tough couple of weeks with partner staying at his sister's and I at my mum's, mattress on the floor in a storage room (all our stuff from old house). We have 4 viewings tomorrow in the countryside surrounding the town my partner has work so hopefully we will be moving in the next few weeks! We've gotta save up to buy some new furniture as a lot was broken or we couldn't move with us. But lots of good things happening now!!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    Things are getting so tough at present. Things totally fell apart living at my mum's. My brother being extremely nasty and cruel to my cats. Two days after being spayed he let one cat out and left her over night, blaming me. So now she's staying with my work, and I have nowhere to call home. Stuck between three places. Should be moving into our own space in a couple of weeks. But this next two weeks is going to be hell. I feel lost and hugely struggling. My mum keeps guilt tripping me...

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    Loads to update. But main one, we have a place to live and move in tomorrow!!! Can already feel the depression lifting <3

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