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Thread: Feelings for someone who I haven't seen in a long time and who I hardly spoke to

  1. #1
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    Feelings for someone who I haven't seen in a long time and who I hardly spoke to

    I ment this person about 8 years ago through a friend and we all went out for meals together but then after a while we all drifted apart. Now I had feelings towards this girl at the time but never moved on it as I knew my so called friends would make it difficult so I tried moving on and tried saying others which yet again my so called friends thought it would be fun to ruin any chances of that happening.
    Lately however I just can't help thinking what would have had happened if I went for it back then and as of lately I think should I get in contact with her to try and see how she is or do I leave it be

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I don't see anything wrong with contacting her if you know for a fact she's single or if you don't know and talk to her and she isn't single, don't contact her again. Social media makes it easy. You had chemistry with her back then, and maybe she would share your interest if she happens to be single. If you can't get in contact, chalk it up to the fact that you're not happy with your life right now, so you're looking to the past to fulfill what's lacking in your present. If you can't get something going with her, try Meetup.com if you're having trouble finding girls your age to date. Good luck.

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    You should reach out. Nothing to lose.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    After all this time, what makes you nostalgic for this suddenly? Have you recently ended a relationship? You could contact her on social media and just start chitchatting/catching up. For all you know she may be married with 7 kids.
    Originally Posted by stevenrandle
    I ment this person about 8 years ago through a friend and we all went out for meals together but then after a while we all drifted apart.
    Lately however I just can't help thinking what would have had happened if I went for it back then and as of lately I think should I get in contact with her to try and see how she is or do I leave it be

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    Member cookies's Avatar
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    The same thing happened to me recently, actually. I met a man exactly 10 years ago (November) and we went on our first date in December - ten years ago from this month, but things didn't work out. we sort of faded away, because of his work/ traveling, but we never fought, or had bad energy between each other.

    Fast forward, I reached out to him again, and basically apologized for any 'hurt' on my behalf, that I may have caused when we were together. I mentioned, that if he looked back on our relationship, instead of seeing all what was 'wrong' with us, hopefully he could see just how much I really did love him when we were together; even though we never said 'I Love You' to one another. He told me that he loved me also. Afterwards, we talked abit but any 'real communication' was practically non existent, and any chance of us getting back together seem to have faded again. It seems to me that he has someone else in his life, but don't want to hurt my feelings. The last thing that I want to do is cause conflict if he is in fact - in a relationship.

    All you can do is basically try to see where it goes. who knows, she may feel the same. Otherwise, It can not hurt you to try to reach out.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    I love all these responses! And agree YES reach out, you just never know.

    My dad's story. He met a woman in college (my mom's friend actually) and fell in love with her (they never dated, she was dating someone else whom she eventually married).

    He started dating my mom (she pursued him) and he married her. They were married for approx. 15 years but he never forgot about the woman from college.

    So he found out she got divorced, and after 15+ years he finally had the confidence he didn't have in college and contacted her.

    He and my mom were divorcing too.

    Anyway, long story short he contacted her, they set a date and got married a year later! Stayed married until her death; he was finally happy, she became the true love of his life!

    So go for it, again you just never know.

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    Thank you this advice what i think it is mainly is in the past couple of years I've lost 13 family members and I began distancing myself from everyone which made me feel worse then more recently my doctor told that maybe talking to my friends might help well this person she had been the only person who didn't judge the fact that I had been a carer for my mother from the age of 6 till just before my 24th birthday and that we never got chance to get to know one another due to the people in my life at the time.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    I am so sorry about the passing of your 13 family members, wow that sounds almost unbelievable; I lost two within one year (my mom and dad) and found that almost too much to bear. I cannot imagine losting 13. :(

    So I understand why you distanced yourself (I did too), and again think reaching out is a fabulous idea. Try to not have too many expectations though, be open to whatever transpires.

    Please update us afterwards, and good luck!


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