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Thread: Being emotionally attracted to someone but no spark

  1. #1

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    Being emotionally attracted to someone but no spark

    Hi All,

    Just after some advice.

    Starting at the beginning, me and my best mate at school use to hang around together a lot. His sister was always there who I got on with well. As we grew up, we went on nights out together as a group, me, him, his sister, and a load of other people. The load of other people gradually settled down, until there was just me, my mate, and his sister usually about. Now being in our 30's, we were quite content with a few drinks at the local pub for a Saturday evening. I get on well with his sister and I like her company very much.

    Suddenly now my mate has a girlfriend, and isn't about much anymore, so naturally me and his sister are more in direct context.

    Were planning nights out together, just us two. I really like her as a person but just don't feel any spark between us. I don't know if that's because we've know each other for so long?

    Should I properly ask her out? Everyone has always expected us to end up together, but I just don't feel the physical stuff so I don't know what to do. Personality wise I really like her, and I do find her pretty, its just I don't feel any chemistry.

    Should I ask her out? Or would I be ruining a great friend relationship?

  2. #2
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    I really like her as a person but just don't feel any spark between us
    Should I ask her out?
    NO ....don't ...enjoy the friendship .

  3. #3
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    Agree with Pippy!

    If there’s no chemistry, there’s no chemistry!

  4. #4
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    Honestly, I think you've probably friend zoned her a long time ago. You've known her for years and you've never thought about her "in that way", so I would say you only like her as a friend. Can I ask, why are you wondering if you should ask her out instead of trying to meet other women? Do you live in a small place where there aren't many dating options?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Chemistry is biological and nothing you can control. You can only pick one person in the universe as a lifetime partner, so make sure you have chemistry and that you share life goals, have similar ethics, and so much more. Your friends have moved on and evolved, so now it's your turn to not stay stagnant. Start a new hobby/interest. Do volunteer work. Join Meetup.com. If this woman has a crush on you, it's unfair for her to think this is leading somewhere when it's not. Don't get into a pattern of spending too much time with her, because she will be extra hurt when you put her on the back burner when you get a girlfriend.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She's a great friend, but you need to date to find a gf. Don't ruin the friendship and do not date girls you're not attracted to.
    Originally Posted by new26
    Suddenly now my mate has a girlfriend, and isn't about much anymore, so naturally me and his sister are more in direct context. I really like her as a person but just don't feel any spark between us. I just don't feel the physical stuff. Personality wise I really like her, and I do find her pretty, its just I don't feel any chemistry.

  8. #7
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    If you don't see any sparks on your end, don't force it. You may be leading her on and if it doesn't work out, she may reject you as a partner and as a friend.


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