He follows really random girls on Instagram and they aren’t even “beautiful”

Hola :)

Okay so I’m in this complicated distance relationship/situationship with a guy. He was in the last semester of Uni when we started hanging out.

Now according to the beauty ideals, he is average looking, has a pot belly but I don’t know I kinda find him beautiful. Anyway, quite a while back, I saw (accidentally when one day the ‘following’ section popped up on my Instagram) that he follows these really random girls who aren’t good-looking or have a glamorous body if we talk about conforming to the beauty standards that are set all around us. When I “dug” a bit more I saw that he follows actresses and models which tbh even I do and to me it’s pretty damn fine. Coming to me, my personality and looks check most of the boxes ( I won’t even add what boxes lest It seems I’m full of vanity...I’m NOT. :))

Somewhere, I wanted to know more because what was sorta eerie to me was the fact that ALL the girls in question were quite similar to me in the sense that they were kinda “dark”, smoked, (to the point most of em had a mole on their face) et al. Now of course it could be that he’s attracted to those kind of attributes but almost all of them were weirdly (read: eerily) similar in most of those aspects.

Our equation is complicated. He also made it clear with those 3 magical words as they say, that he wanted to commit to me. But to me, i felt we were at a very nascent stage.

Coming to the issue, I didn’t judge him at first when an unconscious hand tap or whatever led me to catch a glimpse of his gram activity. But when there’d be a conscious decision on my part to follow the activities at times (strictly at times) all there would be is a new female that he’d begun to follow/ liked someone’s post (more than a few of em hail from a certain Uni which he joked about once during an unexpected video chat, saying, “ I’m gonna follow one of these, should I?)

He neither comments on these pictures (which would be a more direct indication of a certain behaviour) not does he like all of them posts with an exception of the ones that are supposed to be dark and sexy, show-some-flesh, smoking etc...and there would be rather loose comments from random loose guys and few from other female friends and in all cases whose profiles, again, wouldn’t really point at an intelligent person (emotionally or otherwise)

I might be at the risk of sounding like a nuthead but I’d normally (except for today when I was feeling low and not at ease) just let it hurt and let it be because I had my own stuff to deal with. As I was going through his social media activitiy today( I didn’t want to refrain) and voila I found this new girl he had begun to follow with the same “traits” mentioned before.

Certain thoughts started to race through my mind. Is he in around? (He could be tbh and I wouldn’t wanna judge him but ours has been a complicated one) or Following em to trade pictures?(hasn’t asked for mine in the longest time)

Wanted to add that the guy asked for my help with money a few months back (was on a spree with that) and he owes me quite a lot and acts fishy when I ask him for the same. Yes, I’m aware that is sketchy.

Feeling bewildered about this whole situation and While I might know where the ship is sailing , I would still love to get some insight from fellow people if they recognise this kind of behaviour or just guide me towards right-minded thinking.

Thanks :)

I don't understand your 'relationship.' To me you should obsessed and stalkerish.

How much money, and why did you give it to him?

Have you considered counseling?

How long have you been dating? Why do you lend him money? Ask for your money and block and delete him from all your social media and messaging apps.

-i felt we were at a very nascent stage.

 

-the guy asked for my help with money a few months back and he owes me quite a lot and acts fishy when I ask him for the same.