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Thread: Should I just leave ex alone?

  1. #1
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    Should I just leave ex alone?

    So...broke up with my first ex last June. We dated for 8 months. I broke up with him because he was pressuring for sex (virgin), lying, talked to me less, and overall being disrespectful. He tried to contact me like three times after the breakup, but I maintained No Contact for a whole year. He did some hurtful things after the breakup.

    Fast forward to this August, he messaged me on Insta & said how he missed me/how we should meet for lunch. We did and it went well...but he denied most of his wrongdoings. So I kept my distance. We met again in Sept & he promised me that we would go to the movies...never heard from him. So I kept my distance. It wasn't until I saw him at a club in October and he said we should talk about the breakup/unresolved feelings. Again, he flaked so I was done. I texted him a long paragraph how I don't have time for his games because I am in nursing school. He called and texted, but I ignored. He called me last Friday, so I just answered. We talked for a hour & he said that he wanted to check up on how I was doing. And he really had the audacity to ask me "why are you blocking me out of your life?" So I told him the truth & how we still need to talk. I told him I would be free this week. Told him I was free on Monday.... He didn't get back to me until I was going back home. We were texting until 3 AM...but he stopped texting & I haven't heard from him since.

  2. #2
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    Sounds like a narcissist who just wants to feed off you for sex. He's probably "hoovering" you to suck you back in for another go at it. I'll bet he love bombed you in the early weeks and months of your dating, then when he couldn't get what he wanted he started to devalue you and his real personality came out. Be careful with guys like this. I'd stay completely away and not contact him at all.

  3. #3
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    Oh trust me he is. Gaslights, manipulates, talks about himself mostly. And what's funny to me is he knows im a still a virgin. I wish I could completely stay away, but he's friends to the DJ at a local club I go to (he's a DJ as well). And that's pretty much the only club I go to have fun & the only club my parents trust rn (they're overprotective and I'm 20 so can't go to most 21+ venues). But I saw him there last Sat. I kept my distance, but he came and hug me. Asked if I sneaked out..asked why I was wearing a 2 piece outfit bc it was cold (in front of his friend). He didn't even talk to me most of the night.. Only talked to ppl in front of me. I was like..this is the guy that called on Friday?
    And I know he's badmouth me to the DJ and club host bc they always give me cold stares. Like I'm tired. I want to go off.

  4. #4
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    Then why are you asking him to see you? If he is a jerk which sounds to be from what you described just block and ignore.

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  6. #5
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    Why do you keep on responding to this guy? You should have blocked him and been done long ago.

    Block him. Do not respond to him. Do not accept any invitations. How many times does he have to disrespect you? You are a part of the problem here. Don't you see this!

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    Oh trust me he is. Gaslights, manipulates, talks about himself mostly. And what's funny to me is he knows im a still a virgin. I wish I could completely stay away, but he's friends to the DJ at a local club I go to (he's a DJ as well). And that's pretty much the only club I go to have fun & the only club my parents trust rn (they're overprotective and I'm 20 so can't go to most 21+ venues). But I saw him there last Sat. I kept my distance, but he came and hug me. Asked if I sneaked out..asked why I was wearing a 2 piece outfit bc it was cold (in front of his friend). He didn't even talk to me most of the night.. Only talked to ppl in front of me. I was like..this is the guy that called on Friday?
    And I know he's badmouth me to the DJ and club host bc they always give me cold stares. Like I'm tired. I want to go off.
    This is silly. Why didn't you walk away from him? Who cares if he is a DJ at the club. He does not respect or care about you, as he has shown you with his actions. Do not talk to him!

    He is playing you for a fool.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 12-26-2018 at 10:19 PM.

  8. #7
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    Don't bother playing games or explaining yourself to jerks like this. Simply delete and block him from all social media and messaging apps. Focus on your friends, family, studies and if you are ready to date get on some apps and start meeting decent guys and expand your social life beyond clubs/bars so you can meet nice guys instead of players or jerks like this..
    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    We dated for 8 months.
    -I broke up with him because he was pressuring for sex (virgin)
    -I don't have time for his games because I am in nursing school. He called and texted, but I ignored. We were texting until 3 AM...but he stopped texting & I haven't heard from him since.

  9. #8
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    I know this type of guy because I was one. He is the type of guy who takes his shot if the opportunity is there. You are a goal. He doesn't want to be with you, he wants to be in you. So he will check up on you from time to time to see if his status and odds of achieving his goals are. He is going to tell you what you want to hear and just enough to keep you there on your radar.

    Your solution is very easy. If you want drama from the X, then respond and keep responding, if you are tired of it or just don't want it, then you ignore him. Eventually he will get the hint.

  10. #9
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    So basically sex? Lol which is ironic bc he knows I'm a virgin. I have a feeling that's on his agenda bc he randomly said I was a bad girl when we were texting & sent me a post on IG that was a dog dry-humping...the caption was "when you remember the thing and start daydreaming about it"

    lol I want to go off cause no one has time for that bs next year.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by oheyitsfaith
    So basically sex? Lol which is ironic bc he knows I'm a virgin. I have a feeling that's on his agenda bc he randomly said I was a bad girl when we were texting & sent me a post on IG that was a dog dry-humping...the caption was "when you remember the thing and start daydreaming about it"

    lol I want to go off cause no one has time for that bs next year.
    If you have that feeling, then you are probably right. If you keep him around as a friend, this is what you are going to have to contend with. Nothing wrong with saying to him "Accept that its not going to happen with you, move on."


    You are a virgin and hot, which makes you a prime target. If he cared about you, he would respect and understand your point of view. He doesn't, he only understands his.

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