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Thread: Sketchy friend, what do you think?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    21,554
    Originally Posted by TheOutsider1
    That's what I have always done. If she leaves me on read, I don't send yet another message. Maybe she wants me to beg her? I say this because it feels as if she expects me to continuously reach out, despite her leaving me on read. I don't message her again and say "hey did you get my message?" She eventually reaches out to me, and tries to make me feel bad for not reaching out. That's when I tell her, "I sent you a message, did you not receive it?" She tells me she read it, and that she must have been busy, and forgot to reply... find the logic in that. I'm trying to. It feels like head games to me.
    Too much work. She sounds passive aggressive.
    What for you get from this relationship?

  2. #22
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
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    331
    It's all about priorities. Friends make time to see other friends. And by see I actually mean hang out, go the movies, grab a coffee, whatever. Even good friends from interstate or overseas will make time to videochat with you for a lengthy amount of time. If they don't make time for you because they are too busy - you aren't a priority in their lives.

    It's easy to SMS all the time as you can choose when to reply back. In contrast, actually making plans with someone as well as following them through requires time and effort.

    As others have suggested scale back on the SMS'ing. You are worth far more than measly SMS's.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    I'd assume the best, that your friend is simply moving through life and its stages, and not make an assumption that she doesn't like you anymore.
    Exactly this. You only need to feel as 'bad' as you choose to feel. I'd ward off the stranger comment with a reply that doesn't offer or prompt any excuses, "Time flies, doesn't it? It's been ages since I last wrote you about [your main topic,] and I'm thrilled to hear from you. How are you?"

    Allowing for friendships to ebb and flow through natural divergences means we stop keeping score. That's too much work when the only payoff is to feel lousy. Allowing people to shift their focus back in our direction without penalty means we also release ourselves from guilt or excuses whenever we might be the ones to drop the ball.

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