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Thread: Do I finally give up on someone I love?

  1. #1

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    Do I finally give up on someone I love?

    Back and forth with my bf of 6 years mostly over his lack of transparency about his money woes. Thanks to a small inheritance he paid all his bills. However he lives paycheck to paycheck and wants to move in my home by spring. He also mentioned marriage.

    Even though I know we love each other a lot I also know Iím very anxious about him moving in because of his lack of financial stability. Itís all upside for him but not for me since I am very financially stable and may end having to take care of him even tough he pays for long term care insurance.

    My adult daughter doesnít trust him at all even though heís always been good to both of my adult kids.

    We are both in our 60s but do I just make the break and try to start all over hoping for someone I can love and not be anxious about their situation?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You mentioned when you posted this before that because you fear being alone you are even considering letting this guy move into your house. That is a very bad decision. Getting married is an even worse idea. Listen to your family. They are trying to protect you from a gigolo scammer because you are hooked on the word "marriage" and terrified of growing old alone. However if you grow old with this guy you are alone but if you see the light and find a decent honest man, you'll grow old happy.
    Originally Posted by DonTrump
    r he lives paycheck to paycheck and wants to move in my home by spring. He also mentioned marriage. Iím very anxious about him moving in because of his lack of financial stability. I am very financially stable and may end having to take care of him

    My adult daughter doesnít trust him
    We are both in our 60s

  3. #3
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    Very interested in the comments, as I am in the beginning phase of a similar situation. Also in our 60s, only dating 9 months, but the love thing is up in the air. She lives paycheck to paycheck however; she has her own home, new car etc. She has no savings and her retirement and social security will not allow her to keep her current life style. I however; own 2 homes, have a great retirement package, and am very comfortable financially. I to am concerned about the finances should our relationship progress. I definitely won't be talking marriage nor should you.

  4. #4
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    Please do not do this!!!! I'm close to your age, and I cannot tell you how dangerous this is to your personal financial situation.

    Do not let him move in. Do not let him sway you, even if he offers to sign documents outlining legal and financial agreements. You will find it extremely difficult to get him out of your house, once he's in there. And even though you can have the most airtight legally binding agreements, they are only worth the paper they are printed on, and he can easily, once he's there, find his way through your bank statements, credit cards, etc.

    You could end up in a world of financial ruin with this guy.

    If you like him, continue to date him. From separate homes, keeping completely separate finances.

    I have a very lengthy thread about my relationship from a year ago, almost identical situation: he wanted to move in with me. I am financially sound, he is not. I literally hid my financial statements so there would be no access and no, I never let him move in. Guess what he found immediately after me: a sugar mama who paid for everything, every date, every trip, everything. We have to wonder about these guys: would they be with us if we were as broke as them?

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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