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MGTOW men + girlfriends?


ThoughtfulKate

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MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) - "...cautioning men against serious romantic relationships with women, especially marriage."

 

I can't blame men for being extra cautious and avoiding marriage. I know a handful of men who have lost everything while they go through a divorce. The loss is just too great and sadly the government sees women as victims and will side with them the majority of the time. I have family and friends who have gone through this to understand.

 

Me? I like being financially independent and don't want to get married for this very reason. I don't need the government to validate my love for someone and would hate everything crumble away if things go bad. Just me being extra cautious I guess haha.

 

My bf follows MGTOW and you might be asking how does it work? Well, it sort of doesn't. MGTOW isn't all about being financially cautious but emotionally cautious as well. For example, he dismisses my feelings and takes me for granted but as another poster has said before, "you can only handle so much."

 

I guess it's an open topic to all, what do you think of this movement? Ladies, how are you coping with this? Just curious, I'd like to know!

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I guess it's an open topic to all, what do you think of this movement? Ladies, how are you coping with this? Just curious, I'd like to know!

 

What do I think of this "movement"? I think it's one of the stupidest things I've read here.

 

How am I "coping" with this? I'm not. If I ever met a man who uttered that acronym, I'd run.

 

Quelle stupidity.

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I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone (man or woman) deciding that they want to live a single life focused on their goals, interests and pursuits.

 

For me, the problem starts when it is based on hating and generalising the opposite sex. There doesn't seem to be anything self-empowering or productive in spending all your time being bitter about half of the population. It's pretty pathetic, actually.

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No, No baby girl, you don't get to 'normalize' your relationship issues by calling what you're going through a 'movement' these are your mans issues, and you've been posting about it for a while, so at this point you've made a conscious choice to accept it.

 

Ahhhh.....I forgot to check the poster's history.

 

ThoughtfulKate.....same guy from a month ago?

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=555596

 

In that thread, you describe an angry, abusive jerk.

 

Yeah this has nothing to do with MDITHGSQW or whatever acronym you want to label it as.

 

This is just a plain 'ol a-hole.

 

In that thread, you kept apologizing for his anger. It's an abuse cycle.

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The person who started this silly movement, so to speak. There's a website with that name, which is a waste of time.

 

As I said, "Just my opinion"...

 

Ahhh....got it. Yeah I actually looked it up. A website, a Reddit forum, youtube videos. So ridiculous.

 

I'm declaring a SAWM group: Stupid Acronyms Without Meaning.

Y'all subscribe to my channel, k?

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Kate,

 

There are some things worth not being, per your handle, thoughtful about. This, I think, is one of them.

 

After some admittedly cursory internet sleuthing on this topic—cursory because it's Christmas, and I prefer the taste of sparkling wine to bile—here's my two cents: this is all total nonsense.

 

Most men go through a phase when they are utterly petrified of women. Generally, in healthy people, this phase occurs somewhere between 11 and 15, when suddenly all we do is think about women—these compelling, mysterious aliens who suddenly, just by existing, exert a wild pull over us. It's exciting! It's scary! It's exciting! It's oh so very scary! It's, you know, being a human being. Women, of course, deal with their own version of this, but generally do it with more grace...

 

Anyhow, most men (or at least a decent subset) shed this insanity as puberty gives way to adulthood and the realization that—wait for it!—women are, you know, just people, too. This goofy "movement," to me, is essentially adult men banding together to find some kind of way to avoid getting over that fear by not-so-slyly declaring women the enemy, the reason they haven't, well, manned up into the shape they once thought they'd take. It's sad. It's awful. It's a joke.

 

I get that you have a complicated relationship with your bf: history, feelings, the works, whatever you're working through. I don't want to minimize any of that, because that's you're journey right now. Still, I do hope wherever that journey goes it's not about finding sympathy for a "movement" like this. It's a bunch of stunted dudes finding acronyms to make not growing up okay and to blame women for their own shortcomings.

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I looked it up too. I love the definition on Urban Dictionary:

 

Men Going Their Own Way is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: “No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a “man” is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t.

 

Guy's parents ask: Are you gonna get married buy a house and start a family?

Guy answers: "NO" I'm M.G.T.O.W

 

Like blue said, it’s a bunch of stunted men blaming women for their shortcomings.

 

Has your boyfriend said he follows this mindset of have you done some self diagnosing?

 

Your boyfriend sounds borderline if not full blown abusive to you, he might be battling his own demons, I don’t know his story but you have made yourself the ultimate victim not only accepting his treatment but practically begging for more. Kate, quite a few have brought up you seeking help, and you agree but you just go back to the status quo. It’s such a slippery slope. Please don’t legitimize what is at best a stunted guy who has trouble expressing himself like an adult and at worst an abuser. Again, slippery slope.

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Me? I like being financially independent and don't want to get married for this very reason. I don't need the government to validate my love for someone and would hate everything crumble away if things go bad. Just me being extra cautious I guess haha.

Haha, sounds like you aren’t ready for a committed relationship and want to blame “the government” (or rather society) for it. Ridiculous. It’s 2018 and nobody is forcing you in a committed relationship. If you are preparing for a divorce or a break up, then that’s what you will earn vs someone who is preparing for a lifelong commitment.

 

My bf follows MGTOW and you might be asking how does it work? Well, it sort of doesn't. MGTOW isn't all about being financially cautious but emotionally cautious as well. For example, he dismisses my feelings and takes me for granted.

This sounds like a guy who is not ready and should not be in a relationship.

 

And after reading your last thread, it further proves that your boyfriend is not compatible.

 

This whole think sounds like you have settled for far less in a relationship outcome. This has nothing to do with the government or love - it all points to your boyfriend’s behavior and him refusing to change for the better.

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Haha, sounds like you aren’t ready for a committed relationship and want to blame “the government” (or rather society) for it. Ridiculous. It’s 2018 and nobody is forcing you in a committed relationship. If you are preparing for a divorce or a break up, then that’s what you will earn vs someone who is preparing for a lifelong commitment.

 

 

This sounds like a guy who is not ready and should not be in a relationship.

 

And after reading your last thread, it further proves that your boyfriend is not compatible.

 

This whole think sounds like you have settled for far less in a relationship outcome. This has nothing to do with the government or love - it all points to your boyfriend’s behavior and him refusing to change for the better.

I think I've mentioned in this thread that I know people personally that went through a difficult divorce. That being said, I don't care about getting married so long that the person I'm with loves me. I dont need the state to validate my feelings. In my state, you can't have a religious wedding ceremony (I'm Catholic) without being involved with the state. I'm a committed person, though committed to a bad one and will honestly say I have issues with this one. This post isn't meant to be funny.
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Sorry to hear this. Is this the latest label he's hiding behind to excuse being an abusive jerk? Or sadly is this just another way to stay with him by rationalizing his behavior as if it's consistent with some misogynistic movement/philosophy/trend?

 

At 25 it's fine to be independent and enjoy the freedom and fruits of your labor before commingling everything with a partner. What's not fine is a 30 y/o guy who treats you like crap and you buying into it as if it's just the latest hashtag.

My bf follows MGTOW and you might be asking how does it work? he dismisses my feelings and takes me for granted

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I think I've mentioned in this thread that I know people personally that went through a difficult divorce. That being said, I don't care about getting married so long that the person I'm with loves me.

If you read my post, I didn’t mention marriage. I specifically said LIFELONG COMMITMENT. Even if you plan to stay with your partner, he will continue to treat you like crap because there are no social repercussions for his behavior.

 

I dont need the state to validate my feelings. In my state, you can't have a religious wedding ceremony (I'm Catholic) without being involved with the state.

You need to get a marriage license through a courthouse no matter where you live in the country or what kind of ceremony you choose to hold. Also you pay marriage taxes.

 

I’m Catholic too. I find it strange you practice a faith that believes in marriage but have an opposite view tbh.

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It's ok for men to take care of themselves and try to avoid gold diggers but most mgtow men are filled with hate towards women because of past bad experiences and filled with resentment and justify every fail in their life with it being the fault of the woman and don't look inside themselves to take at least some responsibility. And your boyfriend sounds like a jerk, mgtow or not.

 

So though at face value I can understand the sentiment, I don't support this movement nor think it's a positive and uplifting thing for most of these men.

 

As to myself as a woman, I'm not interested in marriage it self like a big Catholic wedding like it's tradition where I'm from nor big expensive wedding or anything like that (never were) but I'd like to find a lifelong partner and if I do find the right one I don't mind a small non religious wedding with the closest friends and family present. Also in some places if you live in someone for a number of years it counts legally as marriage.

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I don't think a wedding reception has anything to do with marriage vows. That's just a party celebrating the wedding. My man/husband "went his own way" today -I was up at 5:20 to get ready for work and get my child ready for camp and take him to camp and my husband went his own way back to bed.........

I met quite a few men while I was dating who were negative about "women" in general. I avoided them like the plague.

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The only difficulty is wondering whether this guy is attracted to this type of hate cult because he's a jerk or if hate cults like this are a result of jerks like this bf.

 

"MGTOW have "...vowed to stay away from women, stop dating and not have children". MGTOW focuses on men's self-ownership rather than changing the status quo through activism and protest, making MGTOW distinct from the men's rights movement. The Southern Poverty Law Center has identified MGTOW as a male supremacist group."

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Do you agree that him following this point of view excuses his abusive behavior? Do you think it makes it OK for him to treat you horribly?

 

Why do you keep agreeing he's awful and you should leave him but continue to stay?

 

Right, he's hiding behind some stupid, made-up label to excuse his sh*tty behavior. Great guy.

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