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Thread: My ex left me for someone else/I deserved it

  1. #31
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    Sometimes I still get mad because she left me
    for someone else. Am I wrong for feeling this way? It confuses me.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    Sometimes I still get mad because she left me
    for someone else. Am I wrong for feeling this way? It confuses me.
    No, anger is a normal part of the grieving process. This too shall pass.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by Sportster2005
    No, anger is a normal part of the grieving process. This too shall pass.
    Thank you it helps.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    Sometimes I still get mad because she left me
    for someone else. Am I wrong for feeling this way? It confuses me.
    Totally normal, totally allowed. Just because you see all the ways you came up short doesn't mean you're not allowed to be angry at her behavior, whatever that behavior was. It's healthy, human, part of the process, a wave that will come and crash.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sadly she jumped right into another abusive relationship and now her mother is calling you.😕 The best thing you can do is get some short term therapy and insight into why this happened and tips on how to prevent it in the future. Regardless of her her mother the new guy whatever. Do it for your own future happiness.
    Originally Posted by Austino96
    Me male(22) and my ex female (21) . Through your our relationship I emotionally abused her and gaslighted her feelings. I began to take out my anger on my ex and get upset about the littlest things.

    Around a year ago I got a new job where I couldnít see her as much yet my abusive manipulative tendencies remained. Around this time I started to lose compassion for her it seems. Like her feelings didnít matter and that only mine did.

  7. #36
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sadly she jumped right into another abusive relationship and now her mother is calling you.😕 The best thing you can do is get some short term therapy and insight into why this happened and tips on how to prevent it in the future. Regardless of her her mother the new guy whatever. Do it for your own future happiness.
    Yeah man. It makes me feel like a huge d**k. Iíve been in therapy and recently stopped going as much.

    I donít want to sound naive but Iím way better than that guy. I really hope she figures it out because I really didnít want it to be this way with her. I cared about her deeply I just couldnít see how I was at the time. Never again thatís for sure.

  8. #37
    Hey Austin, been reading on your thread and would like to hear an update from you!!! Going through the same situation as used to abused my ex boyfriend and am trying to get over the shame of labeling myself as an abuser and learning to let him go.

  9. #38
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    Originally Posted by notacreative
    Hey Austin, been reading on your thread and would like to hear an update from you!!! Going through the same situation as used to abused my ex boyfriend and am trying to get over the shame of labeling myself as an abuser and learning to let him go.
    Hi, well lately everything has been going good. I havenít spoken to my ex and Iíve been getting more use to the thought of what has happen. Iíve came to terms with all thatís happened really. Donít get me wrong I miss things about my ex but I feel like the future is brighter and itís kinda beautiful.

    You really need to think about things. The things you did and why youíve acted the way you have. What I feel is most important thing to do is just to really think about it and not try to escape it. Getting over it isnít linear and Iím still getting over it. Of course it doesnít hurt that much anymore.

    Really feel your emotions. Donít dwell in them tho. Itís like every day is 1% better when it comes to the thought of my ex. Accepting what Iíve done was really hard but I have but itís not me now.

    Listen most people on this website arenít gonna give you good advice on abuse. Most will just haze you for what youíve done and say you will repeat it and stress that you are an abuser. Iíve come to learn that abuse is such a touchy subject and most of the time people will judge based on some sort of personality problem such as narcissism.

    Itís a battle within you and you will win it if you process them and even at times I think you should doubt them(thoughts) to better understand what youíre thinking and why youíve done what youíve done.

    Itís important to understand that youíre human and youíve made mistakes. We all have. Label yourself as a new person and let go of the person you once was. Do new things and donít contact your ex for any reason.

    Your ex wasnít perfect. Make sure you remember the things you didnít like. Maybe it bothered you so much at the time you felt justified in your actions. Also remember the things you did and carry it with you so youíll know what you do like and must have in your next relationship.

    Itís a hard hard lesson that I had to learn. In a perfect world we donít lose the ones we love having to learn those lessons.

    Feel it and feel it completely. Go to counseling but donít go a lot... at some point counseling almost keeps you from moving forward. If you make the same mistake twice in another relationship then you do have a problem.

    Focus on yourself. Feel your emotions. Donít contact your ex ever again. Itís a new journey leave your old ways behind. You will make it. Wish your ex the best and forgive them as well.

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