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Thread: I slept with my ex boyfriends best friend

  1. #1
    Member Jenny00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2017

    I slept with my ex boyfriends best friend

    Okay so a little bit of background incase you havenít read any of my previous threads, thanks ;)
    So me and my now ex boyfriend broke up about 8 months ago now, we were together for 2 years and we were pretty serious. We still talked and tried to work things out until about 3 months ago when I found out he has a new girlfriend, it was quite sudden as I asked him frequently if anything is happening between them and he always denied until SHE texted me to leave him alone. Long story, we have eachother blocked on everything and havenít been in touch and Iím feeling really good finally.
    Anyway, I was always very close with his Male friends, thereís about 7 of them and theyíre all really close, up until now when I see them in a club or in the town they always come up and talk to me even if theyíre with him (he stays away) and basically always end up staying with me and my friends all night.
    But there was this one specific friend of his that I always got along better with, but it was always platonic only and never flirtatious or anything just got along really well as friends. Letís name him Kevin.

    Anyway, Kevin moved to a different city for university a year ago which is about an hour away on the plane. It so happened I moved to that same city for university this year aswell (completely unintentional, itís just a popular university to go to from where I live)
    We havenít really talked much since I moved to uni, despite being in the same city. Up until when we both came home for Christmas. We got back on the same day, I went out with my friends to a party and he went out with all them and my ex etc. Itís a popular club where I live especially after all the university students come back so it wasnít unusual that we would run into eachother. So I started talking to Kevin and that whole crew (my ex stayed out of it and was with his gf somewhere) anyway me and Kevin started getting very close again and started planning nights out when we go back to uni and dancing etc. All of us got really drunk.
    When the club closed, him and a few of the friends asked me and my friends if we wanted to go back to Kevins so Ofcourse we agreed. We went up and had a few more drinks, next thing you know Iím having sex with Kevin. At that moment I didnít regret anything. Keeping in mind that out of all of them, Kevin was my exĒs best friend.
    After a while my friends told me weíre all going home, so I agreed.
    I woke up the next morning to a few texts from him, just asking if I got home ok etc. And we carried on talking ever since, kind of casual I guess Iím not even sure? Hahah
    i was thinking weíll just stay friends only now and that it was just a one time thing...until he asked me last night if I can pick him up after a party so I agreed. I picked him up, we got food and drove around for a bit till we parked to eat our food. It was grand, just talking away and having a laugh etc (except he kept putting his hand on my thigh like when he laughed and stuff?!)
    Anyway, as we were parked and just done eating he went in to kiss me and things got super heated and we ended up having sex again. I donít know why I keep doing thing, I feel like I shouldnít since heís my exís best friend. But something about it makes me feel so good. And I feel like Iím over my ex, but since theyíre best friends it makes me feel comfortable kind of being in the same zone, I donít know how to explain it ☹️
    Itís like Iím familiar with it all even though weíre just hooking up, it still makes me feel like I donít need to start anything new or unfamiliar just yet, especially since I hate change.

    So anyway, I asked him if he told my ex. He said that he doesnít want to tell him yet, but that heís planning to once him and his current gf get more serious. Now my ex is a very impulsive person, and god knows what will happen when he finds out.

    So I guess my question is, should we tell him? I think heís still planning to hang out and hook up sometimes, but mostly just get close as he said he missed me as a friend. What do you think we should do, tell him now, tell him later or not at all and just keep it between us? It would be slightly hard as some of our friends already know as they figured it out when we went to his house.
    Any advice would be great, thanks so much guys.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Im going through the same SITUATION. Cant wait to hear the answers to this lol

  3. #3
    You guys were the past, do not think about old boy friend, if your new boy friend made your day better, love him. Do not think more baby

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    What's this "should we tell him" about? You've got no relations with your ex. Whether he finds out or not is at his "best friend's" discretion. And don't ask him whether he's told your ex. It's awkward and, especially at this point, not your business.

    Bang who you like. Persinally, I like the idea of a dating pool rather than a dating puddle, but it's your life. Tread in as murky of waters as you'd prefer.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Enjoy your freedom. Keep your sex life to yourself. And ask the guy you're hooking up with to be a gentleman not a blabbermouth. Keep your ex out of the picture. Block and delete him and his gf from all your social media.

    Hopefully this is just for fun hookups and not some sort of revenge sex you hope will get back to your ex in the hopes that that will change his mind about things such as cheating on his gf to hookup with you or leaving his gf to get back with you.

    Sadly it sounds like you are still hung up on him even though he clearly has moved on..BTW... pretty crappy of this friends of yours and best friend of your ex to engage in sex with you when you were that drunk. He's not your "friend". he just looked for s very very easy target: Drunk and dumped.
    Originally Posted by Jenny00
    I asked him if he told my ex. He said that he doesnít want to tell him yet, but that heís planning to once him and his current gf get more serious.
    So I guess my question is, should we tell him? I think heís still planning to hang out and hook up sometimes, but mostly just get close as he said he missed me as a friend.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 12-25-2018 at 04:43 AM.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    You and your ex are a thing of the past. He has no business knowing anything about your sex life, or vice versa. It seems that the sex with your new guy is better because you dont turn down his advances.

    If you know that you may want another chance with your ex later, he doesnt need to know about what's happening with you and his best friend. Even if that's not the case, it's still not his business.

    I dont love nor hate my ex. Two of his so called best friends(Rick and Roosevelt) tried their best to sleep with me. I ignored them both. My ex had been talking badly to them about me after our breakup-- and that simply made them much more curious about me and what kind of sex I had to have him so bitter--especially when he was seeing someone new before we broke up.

    I wouldn't recommend sleeping with an exes friend or acquaintance- it's like breaking the code. I dont want my ex back at ALL and I still couldnt do that to him. Besides, it will eventually get back to your ex when you and this new guy get on bad terms. Right now, he really likes you and the sex- so he going to be quiet as a church mouse for the time being. Just do you and have fun- just dont expect to ever get your other ex back later on-- if he finds out, he may be done with both of yall and wonder if you secretly liked his best friend when yall were still together. If that's not a concern, then theres no problem.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Tell him if you're a fan of drama. Also sex doesn't just "happen" -you chose to have sex with him. You cannot control what your sex partner tells your ex but I would not be any part of it.

  9. #8
    Member Jenny00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    I donít think his intention is to be a blabbernouth but rather just telling him out of respect, cause chances are heíll find out eventually anyway so it would be better to find out from him :)

    Itís not for revenge as I definitely never planned this nor do I care if my ex finds out or not, I just simply enjoy the time with this boy and it just sucks that it happens to be his best friend but also makes it kind of thrilling I guess.

    I think I am over him, but Iím not over the person he was. He changed a lot since we broke up, became very cold and it wasnít just me that noticed. If anything, I miss the person he was but even if he asked I would not take him back, heís just simply not the person I loved anymore :)
    Also, he was very drunk and he was being respectful and asked if itís okay so despite being drunk he was still good.
    Thanks for the advice though :)

  10. #9
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Youíre clearly not over him. If you were, this wouldnít be thrilling and you wouldnít want to tell him.

    No reason to tell him. Keep it quiet and do your own thing. If he finds out, it doesnít matter - he has no claim on what you do or with who.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    I would refrain right now. You two are not dating; youíve just hooked up a couple times. I would leave it up to this Kevin guy to tell him if and when he chooses.

    Personally, I think youíre both playing with fire but itís more likely that you will be the one who gets the most badly burnt in the end, even if that isnít entirely fair.

    Iíve seen these things happen before, and itís usually the ex (you, in this case) who winds up getting shunned from the whole group when the truth comes out. Itís a bit of fun now but I have a feeling that, if put to the test, Kevinís loyalty will not lie with you.

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