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Thread: I slept with my ex boyfriends best friend

  1. #11
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    Tip 1: never discuss your current sex life with your past sex life.

    Tip 2: don't have overlapping sex lives.

  2. #12
    Member Jenny00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    Youíre clearly not over him. If you were, this wouldnít be thrilling and you wouldnít want to tell him.

    No reason to tell him. Keep it quiet and do your own thing. If he finds out, it doesnít matter - he has no claim on what you do or with who.
    As I said in a previous reply, Iím over him but I still miss the person he was. He changed completely and became a very different person and not someone I would associate with anymore. Obviously he was a huge part of my life, he hurt me a lot... but I wouldnít want him back. And as I said, the only reason to tell him would be Kevin wanting for him to find out from him and not someone else.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jenny00
    As I said in a previous reply, Iím over him but I still miss the person he was. He changed completely and became a very different person and not someone I would associate with anymore. Obviously he was a huge part of my life, he hurt me a lot... but I wouldnít want him back. And as I said, the only reason to tell him would be Kevin wanting for him to find out from him and not someone else.
    So if thats the case, as other posters opined, what is it with "should we tell him" you're no longer a part of his life. This is completely between Kevin and your ex, if this is considered a betrayal its Kevin who will have to navigate that, not you.


    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I would refrain right now. You two are not dating; youíve just hooked up a couple times. I would leave it up to this Kevin guy to tell him if and when he chooses.

    Personally, I think youíre both playing with fire but itís more likely that you will be the one who gets the most badly burnt in the end, even if that isnít entirely fair.

    Iíve seen these things happen before, and itís usually the ex (you, in this case) who winds up getting shunned from the whole group when the truth comes out. Itís a bit of fun now but I have a feeling that, if put to the test, Kevinís loyalty will not lie with you.
    Same and unfortunately, if this gets out and gets messy, guess who gets labelled a h*e? Not saying its right, not saying I agree, Im saying this is what college aged kids do when they play hot potatoes with their sexual partners. The risk of you no longer being the 'cool chick' but rather the chick who slept with best friends is definitely there. Im not judging you or saying its right, Im saying Ive been a college aged girl before and Ive seen how these things go.

    I would just distance myself and hope all this goes away. Its not worth the drama. and although you swear up and down you're over your ex, if he does feel upset about all this I cant imagine him coming to you and saying anything nice, I know if I put myself in your shoes and your age, something like that would be ripping off any scab I formed over the breakup.

    I really think you're playing with fire, and hiding behind the guise of just being a fun loving girl, your reputation is a big thing, its just not a wise game to play.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok then keep everything to yourself. If this guy blabs to your ex it's sad and a stab in your back, but it's out of your control. Stay out of your ex's social circle. Why make a spectacle of yourself falling apart, sleeping around etc. for your ex to witness?.

    Pull yourself together and pull way way back fro your ex and ALL his people. Make your own friends, find your own dates.
    Originally Posted by Jenny00
    he was a huge part of my life, he hurt me a lot... but I wouldnít want him back. And as I said, the only reason to tell him would be Kevin wanting for him to find out from him and not someone else.

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  6. #15
    Member Jenny00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok then keep everything to yourself. If this guy blabs to your ex it's sad and a stab in your back, but it's out of your control. Stay out of your ex's social circle. Why make a spectacle of yourself falling apart, sleeping around etc. for your ex to witness?.

    Pull yourself together and pull way way back fro your ex and ALL his people. Make your own friends, find your own dates.
    Okay I get where youíre coming from, but staying out of that social circle isnít exactly what Iím looking to do. I knew theee guys way before me and my ex started being together, but it was only when we started dating that we all got super super close. They were like my best friends, unfortunately the contact kind of had to be minimised after we broke up but it wouldnít be he cool to cut them off completely. They ended up being my friends too.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Jenny00
    Okay I get where youíre coming from, but staying out of that social circle isnít exactly what Iím looking to do. I knew theee guys way before me and my ex started being together, but it was only when we started dating that we all got super super close. They were like my best friends, unfortunately the contact kind of had to be minimised after we broke up but it wouldnít be he cool to cut them off completely. They ended up being my friends too.
    The risk youíre running by sleeping with one who happens to be your exís best friend is that you could easily be cut out of that social circle whether you like it or not. It wouldnít exactly be fair or right, but itís also very common when someone starts having sex with guys who are friends with each other. Itís unlikely these guys will see your side of things when the truth gets out. You say your friendship with them was affected after your breakup, so prepare yourself for even less contact with them when they hear you are hooking up with their buddyís ďbest friend.Ē

    Proceed with caution here, as you donít appear to really get how this could affect you and not just your ex.

  8. #17
    Member Jenny00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    The risk youíre running by sleeping with one who happens to be your exís best friend is that you could easily be cut out of that social circle whether you like it or not. It wouldnít exactly be fair or right, but itís also very common when someone starts having sex with guys who are friends with each other. Itís unlikely these guys will see your side of things when the truth gets out. You say your friendship with them was affected after your breakup, so prepare yourself for even less contact with them when they hear you are hooking up with their buddyís ďbest friend.Ē


    Proceed with caution here, as you donít appear to really get how this could affect you and not just your ex.
    I asked for opinion on the situation with the friend I slept with and if the ex should find out, nowhere in this do I ask about opinions about my friendship with that group. Some of them already know, and the ones that do frankly honestly donít care. Theyíre nice boys and often take care of me, the only reason the contact had to be minimised after the breakup was simply to not make things awkward when we hang out and my ex may be there, not out of taking sides and stuff.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jenny00
    I asked for opinion on the situation with the friend I slept with and if the ex should find out, nowhere in this do I ask about opinions about my friendship with that group. Some of them already know, and the ones that do frankly honestly donít care. Theyíre nice boys and often take care of me, the only reason the contact had to be minimised after the breakup was simply to not make things awkward when we hang out and my ex may be there, not out of taking sides and stuff.
    And you donít think sleeping around this group will make things awkward?

  10. #19
    Member Jenny00's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    And you donít think sleeping around this group will make things awkward?
    As I said most of them already know, and see no problem with it. Hooking up with someone once in a while who youíre friends with is different than being in a relationship with someone for 2 years. If me and him stopped sleeping together, we would still remain friends like we always were. Me and my ex boyfriend didnít have that option as we decided to part ways completely.

  11. #20
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I could be wrong, but after reading between the lines my guess is, this is a ploy to win back your ex by making him jealous, etc, otherwise what's the point in telling him.

    In any event, this has the potential to backfire and place you in the category of being a person who sleeps around...No offense.

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