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Thread: Mixed Signals?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    "Around 9 months into the relationship external pressures from his family began (they have never liked any of his girlfriends), they made him spend a week away from me to consider what he wants. He agreed as they were planning to help him financially and threatened to not help. After this week they told him that we were ďnot allowedĒ to spend nights together during the week and when he moved out I was not allowed to even leave a toothbrush at his house. HEíS A FULLY-GROWN MAN!"

    Has any of this changed?

    And, what about his debilitating depression?
    Honestly, I donít know. I havenít witnessed enough recently to know and itís not something we have discussed. Weíve just been enjoying each otherís company although it does feel like he wants to get back together but there is a barrier stopping him. Thatís how it feels anyway.

  2. #12
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    "Dinner was fine, had a chat and a laugh. Went back to his and he did try and hook up. I stopped him and said unless weíre going to try again itís not something I can do. He doesnít want to try again so I left. No drama. Iíve re-blocked and looking forward now. Thereís no more ďwhat ifísĒ and I wonít accept an invitation again. Iím not upset, slightly disappointed but I need to focus on me now."

    What happened to the blocking? You keep on going round and round with this guy. he has shown you repeatedly that he is NOT capable of a relationship, nor does he want one. Why are you doing this to yourself? This is really unhealthy.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    "Dinner was fine, had a chat and a laugh. Went back to his and he did try and hook up. I stopped him and said unless weíre going to try again itís not something I can do. He doesnít want to try again so I left. No drama. Iíve re-blocked and looking forward now. Thereís no more ďwhat ifísĒ and I wonít accept an invitation again. Iím not upset, slightly disappointed but I need to focus on me now."

    What happened to the blocking? You keep on going round and round with this guy. he has shown you repeatedly that he is NOT capable of a relationship, nor does he want one. Why are you doing this to yourself? This is really unhealthy.
    I unblocked him a while ago. I feel ok about it just a bit confused because I feel like heís giving mixed signals. Iím not as emotional as I was before and it does feel different this time. Perhaps it is unhealthy but it not easy to walk away from someone you love.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why did you break up? How long ago was that?
    Originally Posted by EnglishRose9
    it does feel like he wants to get back together but there is a barrier stopping him.

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  6. #15
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    We broke up in July. He gave various reasons including saying he didnít think he was capable of love and that he didnít want to ďdrag me down with himĒ, so essentially variations on itís not you, it me.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by EnglishRose9
    I unblocked him a while ago. I feel ok about it just a bit confused because I feel like heís giving mixed signals. Iím not as emotional as I was before and it does feel different this time. Perhaps it is unhealthy but it not easy to walk away from someone you love.
    I have, and so have most on this forum. You have to love yourself enough to walk away from something that is harmful. You are not helpless, and had a life before this guy.

    I wonder why you ask us for advise? You have posted many threads on this guy, and have agreed he is not good for you, and you will block him and be done. We have all advised you to be done with him, and you agree. I think that it is disrespectful to this forum to continue to repost with the same scenario, over and over, if you have no desire to follow our advice.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why did you break up? How long ago was that?
    His family dictated his life and did not like her. He chose them over her,

  9. #18
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    After we seem to be getting closer he will pull away and maybe not contact me for a day.
    This stood out for me too. It's like he wants to hang out with you, maybe even have casual sex but for you not to take any of it seriously.
    Maybe he is still worried what his family will think so he pulls back not wanting you to get too attached.

    Honestly, it sounds bogus to me. I personally wouldn't want to live in limbo like that.
    You should just ask him if you're going to be together or not.
    But him using you for a sometimes girlfriend without the commitment, sounds really lame and kind of sad.
    Last edited by SherrySher; 12-24-2018 at 01:38 PM.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by EnglishRose9
    I unblocked him a while ago. I feel ok about it just a bit confused because I feel like heís giving mixed signals. Iím not as emotional as I was before and it does feel different this time. Perhaps it is unhealthy but it not easy to walk away from someone you love.

    You arenít the first and you wonít be the last and this is going to sound accusatory but I promise you, itís not, you need to hear this:

    You are lying to yourself.

    You are not ok with any of this.

    There is no healthy reason to continue any of this.

    He either wants to be with you or he doesnít.

    There is no living breathing feeling human being on this planet who has been dumped and hurt by their ex and then suddenly were emotionally ok with just Ďchillingí. Iíd call the Guinness book of records but this post is a testament that you arenít ok with any of this.

    So my question to you is when are you going to look it for your emotional and mental wellbeing?

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    You arenít the first and you wonít be the last and this is going to sound accusatory but I promise you, itís not, you need to hear this:

    You are lying to yourself.

    You are not ok with any of this.

    There is no healthy reason to continue any of this.

    He either wants to be with you or he doesnít.

    There is no living breathing feeling human being on this planet who has been dumped and hurt by their ex and then suddenly were emotionally ok with just Ďchillingí. Iíd call the Guinness book of records but this post is a testament that you arenít ok with any of this.

    So my question to you is when are you going to look it for your emotional and mental wellbeing?
    She thinks he will suddenly morph into a different person. He has shown her repeatedly through his actions that this has no future, yet she still goes back for more craziness.

    OP, are you usually attracted to dramatic nowhere relationships. Do you usually allow men to treat you poorly and string you along. Just recently you clearly stated he was using you as a FWB.

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