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Thread: Once a Week Dating

  1. #1

    Once a Week Dating

    Okay so I really need some good advice as to what I should do about my relationship with this guy Iíve been talking to for over seven months now. So we started talking during the summer and we hung out almost everyday and he wanted to see me almost everyday, while the relationship was good I noticed a few red flags- when we went out on dates heíd make me pay for the entire date, mine and his stuff.. which I donít mind paying every now and then but majority of the time kinda bothered me, and he always took forever to text me back 3hrs+, which I know people are busy etc. but it just kind of bothered me... okay so 6 months into us talking he still had not asked me to be his girlfriend and I wanted the label because to me it just seemed that much more serious (this is only my opinion) so I was getting kinda irritated by that. He starts his junior year or college and I start my freshman year we live about 45 minutes away from each other and go to different colleges.. and I would drive some days after school just to see him but he never did the same for me. And it eventually turned out to me seeing him once a week at night for a couple of hours.. first he blamed it on school and that he was so busy with classes ( May I remind you he has no job and gets done with class at lunch time). And I always feel like Iím begging for his attention always, I feel so lonely and depressed.. but I love this guy I really do, I just donít think he feels the same as me, which when Iíve brought these issues up he always come down up with some reason why things are the way they are. So here we are seven months into talking and Iím still only seeing him one a week (4 freaking days out of the month) and I am constantly wanting to see him everyday.. and he says he wants to see me too but always claims to be busy, and he says that itís easier for him to see me once a week and that just because he wants to see me less than I do him doesnít make him love me any less. Also now itís christmas break, itís been two weeks and Iíve seen him twice.. and I ask him why he hasnt seen me more and he says that he has been super busy and also that his friends from college have come home and he wants to spend as much time with them as he can. Naturally I get my feelings hurt because it feels like he isnít interested.. but when Iím with him he always reassures me he does.. but basically he makes me out to be the crazy one for wanting to see him more than once a week. I mean isnít that how normal relationships go- seeing your S/O more than one time a week. He acts like itís okay with him and I just donít get it. I have so much love to give and I want to give it to him but I feel like I donít get the same energy from him. And Iíve tried to break it off a few times but I canít let go of him, I love him Iím, but Iím not sure if when he says it he means it like I do. But Iím tired of being sad and lonely and crying over this guy and constantly begging for his attention and begging him to spend more time with me. What should I do?

  2. #2
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    Stop seeing him all together! He isnít worth your tears or your love. By actions which are more important then words heís showing heís a jerk and that itís all one sided on your end. You can do better!

  3. #3
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Since one finds the time, and makes the time for someone they truly care about, it appears you're not anywhere near the top of his list in regards to priority. Difficult as it is, this is who he is, you can't fix him, nor can you change him into someone you'd like him to be.

    I'd like to think you would realize your value, dump him and find someone who wants to be with you. You can do this.

  4. #4
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    Why would you accept another date after he made you pay the first time?

    This guy does not care about and is using you. Dump him!

    You need to understand why you have allowed any of this. You do not seem to value yourself much.

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  6. #5
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    Do you two have sex on those 4 days per month?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Do you two have sex on those 4 days per month?
    IT does seem to me that you are a booty call. And if there is no sex going on, what exactly are you getting out of it?

    Sure, its okay for a girl to pay sometimes, pay 50/50 or whatever, but all of the time? He's using you as a food ticket.

    That he wants to spend lots of time with people he hasn't seen much, but doesn't want to spend time with you even though your two don't hang out much, places you low on the hierarchy. Write him off and go find some one who appreciates spending time with you.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by LibertyGirl5
    Okay so I really need some good advice as to what I should do about my relationship with this guy Iíve been talking to for over seven months now. So we started talking during the summer and we hung out almost everyday and he wanted to see me almost everyday, while the relationship was good I noticed a few red flags- when we went out on dates heíd make me pay for the entire date, mine and his stuff.. which I donít mind paying every now and then but majority of the time kinda bothered me, and he always took forever to text me back 3hrs+, which I know people are busy etc. but it just kind of bothered me... okay so 6 months into us talking he still had not asked me to be his girlfriend and I wanted the label because to me it just seemed that much more serious (this is only my opinion) so I was getting kinda irritated by that. He starts his junior year or college and I start my freshman year we live about 45 minutes away from each other and go to different colleges.. and I would drive some days after school just to see him but he never did the same for me. And it eventually turned out to me seeing him once a week at night for a couple of hours.. first he blamed it on school and that he was so busy with classes ( May I remind you he has no job and gets done with class at lunch time). And I always feel like Iím begging for his attention always, I feel so lonely and depressed.. but I love this guy I really do, I just donít think he feels the same as me, which when Iíve brought these issues up he always come down up with some reason why things are the way they are. So here we are seven months into talking and Iím still only seeing him one a week (4 freaking days out of the month) and I am constantly wanting to see him everyday.. and he says he wants to see me too but always claims to be busy, and he says that itís easier for him to see me once a week and that just because he wants to see me less than I do him doesnít make him love me any less. Also now itís christmas break, itís been two weeks and Iíve seen him twice.. and I ask him why he hasnt seen me more and he says that he has been super busy and also that his friends from college have come home and he wants to spend as much time with them as he can. Naturally I get my feelings hurt because it feels like he isnít interested.. but when Iím with him he always reassures me he does.. but basically he makes me out to be the crazy one for wanting to see him more than once a week. I mean isnít that how normal relationships go- seeing your S/O more than one time a week. He acts like itís okay with him and I just donít get it. I have so much love to give and I want to give it to him but I feel like I donít get the same energy from him. And Iíve tried to break it off a few times but I canít let go of him, I love him Iím, but Iím not sure if when he says it he means it like I do. But Iím tired of being sad and lonely and crying over this guy and constantly begging for his attention and begging him to spend more time with me. What should I do?
    You can tell what a person's priorities are, by what they choose to spend their time on. There are obviously some obstacles, but if a man wants to see you he will. If he doesn't make the time, he's just not that into you. What he does is more accurate, then what he says.


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