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Thread: Crazy about a guy but can't tell him for some reason? Helpppp

  1. #1
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    Crazy about a guy but can't tell him for some reason? Helpppp

    So I am attracted to a man 15 years older than I am (I'm mid-twenties F), and every time I'm around him I end up ignoring or running away from him and I don't know WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME!

    I haven't been shy with men in the past. I can't stop thinking about him, and I find him absolutely wonderful. He's funny, kind, breathtakingly handsome, so smart and talented and I love being around him. Seriously, every time I see him, even if we barely speak to each other, I leave smiling and feeling lighter than air. He offered to buy me a drink once and I turned him down. And any time I've spent one on one with him I always cut it short and leave without so much as a hug. We've flirted in the past and I know he is attracted to me, but I guess I'm scared. I clearly have feelings for him, but I never got the sense he was looking for anything serious. And I've had a rough year. I can't stand the thought of getting hurt but at this point I know that either I hurt myself by never getting a clear idea of how he feels, or I get hurt through rejection. I know what I need to do logically, but every time I'm near him my heart gets caught in my throat and I feel like a twelve year old girl. I keep waiting for my feelings to go away but its been nearly six months and it's only gotten worse. He's a friend of a friend, so I see him at parties and we've hung out twice by ourselves (the first time he invited me over, the second time I practically invited myself over). I must confuse the hell out of him. I need help. What the hell do I do about this, in a mature way? Trust me, I've considered slipping him a note that says "Check yes if u like me."

    I've never had such an intense crush in my entire life.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Maybe some part of your mind knows that this man is way too old for you and it wouldn't work very well.

    Why choose someone so much older?

    You want to send him a note that says check yes if you like me?? Are you in high school?

    I have a hard time not believing that this is not a scam post.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    How do you know he isnt married or involved with someone?

    This guy is too old for you and that may well be part of your problem, you know you are too young for him so you dont let yourself get too close for fear of rejection.

    You do sound like a 12 yr old girl, and that's not becoming at all.

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    Wow, I do sound ridiculous. I think I just need to forget this whole affair, seeing him is a terrible idea especially if this is what I'm reduced to. The check yes thing was a joke though.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Well, the thing is, he's way older, that in itself could be a problem. Plus, if he likes you so much, why hasn't he asked for a proper date?
    Not asking you to come over for maybe a hook up, but an actual date?

    You shouldn't have to be chasing and hoping to god he notices you and having a girl crush like this if it's mutual as you say it is.

    Also, it's normal to have a certain amount of infatuation, but you are going a bit OTT, after all, he is just a human being.

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    My mother-in-law is 18 years older than her husband. She's in a wheelchair, broke her hip once when she fell at a restaurant, wears Depends, and has been retired for many years. With the different life stages, she is lonely at home all day while her husband still works. Those are things you might not be thinking about when seeing a man who is just starting to wrinkle, but that is only one example of the cons of entering into a large age-gap relationship, so you might want to be realistic about projecting to the future and thinking of the possibilities.

    Yes, some people can make it work, but they are the exceptions. Always listen to your gut. You sense he's not looking for anything serious. You are. People with different dating goals are incompatible. I know there was one guy I dated once who I could never really get a full comfort level with. In short order, I found out some disturbing things about him and I'm glad it didn't work out, even though his mind was intriguing to me. Follow your instincts, and for the future, know that dating someone closer in age has a higher risk of success, since you've mentioned how you can't stand getting hurt at this point. Take care.

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    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    You just have a giant crush. Enjoy the rush, but don't let it think or make decisions for you.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by lichen
    Wow, I do sound ridiculous. I think I just need to forget this whole affair, seeing him is a terrible idea especially if this is what I'm reduced to. The check yes thing was a joke though.
    It's not ridiculous to have an overwhelming crush on someone. Your behaviour sounds reasonable, and not way out on the bell curve. If you've decided he's too old, that's fine, not ridiculous. If you're O.K with the age, you're just another person getting twitterpated by the opposite sex.

  10. #9
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    Holy cow, thanks for teaching me a new word. Yes, I am definitely twitterpated.


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