How to get employer to take mental health seriously

I've been employed through my current employer for nearly three and a half years. I was dealing with some mental health ( depression and very bad anxiety) issues when I first started, but they have progressed at some points during this time and have remained a constant issue for me.

I feel like my managers do not take me seriously. A previous manager asked me if I was sure I had these things because I seemed "normal" and she "never would have guessed. She's not there anymore but I still have 3 managers.

I know what my triggers are and I do my best to avoid them. But it seems they are either careless or try to push my limits.

It is a retail job where I am trained in every department of the store. One of my triggers is being put to work in the fitting room and another is being on cash alone. I love being on cash if there is another associate up there but if I'm alone I get so sick to my stomach and will have a panic attack. And being put into the fitting room is similar. I feel like I'm trapped and the walls are closing in and I get physically sick and can't breathe.

Also, i walk 40 minutes to work and 40 minutes home everyday. This is because I don't drive and my anxiety does not allow me to take a bus or a taxi.

Because of this, we have been in agreement that I won't be scheduled at night because it is dark and I don't feel comfortable or safe being a young female walking alone at night down a busy street.

And yet, they randomly schedule me for night shifts or tell me to cover the fitting room.

They do recognize that I have these issues but it's like - if they are strapped and need someone my issues don't matter and I should just "get over them" because "everyone has to do stuff they don't want to do".

They don't understand that it isn't that I don't want to, but more that I physically can't without being sick.

Last week I was scheduled for a night shift and brought it up to my manager and she apologized said she didn't realize and she tweaked it so that I wasn't there once it got dark. Then tonight I was scheduled for another one. And I would have tried to switch with someone but a coworker was finishing a bit later than me and said she would drive me home.

I have no problem working nights if I have a ride. So anyways, I only took this shift because I had a guaranteed ride.

5oclock comes around ( Its already dark here ) and my manager comes to me and said they were short staffed and the girl who was gonna drive me home is now staying until the store closed and basically sorry about your luck find another way home.

Long story short we got into it, she couldn't understand why I couldn't just hop a bus or take a cab, got angry with me and very rude and snippy saying fine let her leave we'll be short handed all night blah blah etc. Making it my fault.

I am going to be changing my availability so that the night thing doesn't happen anymore but what can I do about not being put in places I'm triggered. My doctor will nit write a note about it nor do I expect him to.

My employer won't put into writing that they won't ask me to work in those departments. I feel defeated.

The only way I was allowed a special accommodation at work was to have my doctor submit documentation.

Why is your doctor refusing to provide documentation? And why won't you ask her or him to do so? Seems like it would be a simple solution.

I mean, I'll tell you why. It's because without medical documentation and a prescribed work detail, you've got no backing of the ADA, and they're under no obligation nor motivation to inconvenience themselves to find a way for you to fit their needs. They *might* if, for instance, you were absolutely killing it when provided reasonable accommodations or in a setting that doesn't trigger you, but I can't attest to the quality and productivity of your work in those situations.

The best you can in lieu of taking formal measures is probably to assert your availability, hope they'll notice you doing amazing when you are in your comfort zone, or look for other work if it's all too much. Respecting your situation and anxiety, it sounds like it really sucks. Hopefully you do someday get the formal documentation or the voluntary accommodation.

I agree with bolt. Your only option may be seeing your Dr. An appt with a counselor or a therapist may be very beneficial though.

I am going to be changing my availability so that the night thing doesn't happen anymore but what can I do about not being put in places I'm triggered. My doctor will nit write a note about it nor do I expect him to.

My employer won't put into writing that they won't ask me to work in those departments. I feel defeated.

Then you have essentially zero leg to stand on, OP.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but your triggers are not your employer's problem if you have no medical documentation to back up your claims. This is why it's essential you speak to your doctor. I'm at a loss as to why you don't expect your doctor's support; that's what they are there for.

If you cannot do the job under the circumstances required, you should probably look for different work.

Are up UK op ... It is still a confusing grey area here isn't it , but there is stuff set in place it is just a case of knowing what , of them knowing what and agreeing on a decent plan to execute it .

I am also unable ..well actually not unable ...but I prefer to use my electric bike for everything ( bit of a standing joke amongst my friends as there are many times you can't actually see me and the bike for shopping )

You really need to do your homework on this one , maybe ring up CAB and know exactly what demands you can make , what demands they can make etc etc ...Us all in different countries here doesns't help in the way that we will have such different * rules * we have to live to by . CAB will also tell you what your GP is obliged to do ( you will probably have to pay ) and are you with the mental health people , because they can also write with your permission .

So in all , really do your homework on this one .

Op it is those kind of people that you are up agaisnt .... lack of mental health education and sheer ignorance .

I'm living in a Scandinavian country at the moment and work for a big company. Here they're very understanding with taking days off if you need and accommodating if you have kids and stuff like that. You can call sick several times a year with no consequence. It's also very hard to fire people here. But even here after a certain point you need a doctor to write you an attest so that you can take days off or have special accommodation. Also, without it the people at work might start secretly to resent you. Especially in areas like retail where people have different shifts and need to cover the open and closing hours. I'm a very flexible person with no family here and I'm very accommodating and even I have felt a little resented when colleagues that are constantly calling sick make it so that I have the triple of work or have to have a crappier shift than it was planed, though I feel sympathy for them.

Anyway, ask your doctor for proper documentation or change jobs if this is too much for you. I have a feeling you're avoiding the doctor because of your anxiety. And please seek treatment. You don't have to live like this and professionals can teach you coping mechanisms and how to manage your anxiety.

I'm very sorry you have to live like this but I commend you for trying and doing your best. I suffer from anxiety too and I've had panic attacks before (though from what you say my problem seems to be much less intense than yours and I don't have these extreme intense triggers like you). I really hope you can find solutions that improve your life quality.

Honestly I see both sides of the issue. Right around (and after) Christmas is the busiest time for retail companies. By the end of the day they have to run a business. This is not the time to start complaining about accommodations UNLESS you have medical documentation to prove so. Without that documentation, the company can let you go if they feel you are inadequate to perform your assigned tasks.

Please schedule a doctors appointment ASAP and get a letter that supports the request for accommodations.

I can see both sides too. And it's not that I don't understand what it's like to work with mental health issues. I've personally experienced it.

Things like transportation though are your responsibility and will be even if you change jobs. Your mental health status doesn't prevent you from arranging your own reliable transport, and making sure you are at all shifts you agree to.

You can't expect an employer to adapt to a failure on your part to do that. And you can't expect employers to tolerate you bailing on shifts and duties.

If you can not perform the job as you were hired to do, then it may be time to find a job that fits you better.

I've certaining been on the end as well of working beyond my tasks and fair share in order to accomadte those who simply can perform duties or do not wish to, and try and keep in mind other people. People will generally be fair if you are an asset and do not allow yourself to be seen as a liability.

I see both sides too .... probably because of the situations I have been in , which is why op must get medical support on all of it .

There is seeing both sides and there is saying ridiculous stuff like this

Figure it out, OP. Counseling, pills, or just get over it.

I mean ...come on ..

The only way to get them to take your issues seriously is to get a doctor note. Really, that's the only way. I get that you're scared and yes, it's hard going to the doctor but think of it this way, it's one time of anxiety versus many more because at least then, you'll have that note to stop them from making you work off shifts or the fitting room.

The only way to get them to take your issues seriously is to get a doctor note. Really, that's the only way. I get that you're scared and yes, it's hard going to the doctor but think of it this way, it's one time of anxiety versus many more because at least then, you'll have that note to stop them from making you work off shifts or the fitting room.

I can't agree with this more ...op you don't feel that you even expect him/her to ...but that is their job darling ...please do it to save all of this .

You need to go to HR and deal with accommodations, FMLA, or doctor notes. And you had better be working on your issues. I have very little empathy or sympathy having to work all the sh**ty shifts because someone has an issue with fitting rooms and can't figure out their transportation. I have worked with the hypersensitive, and guess who gets crapped on...not you...I'm the one that gets crapped on. I have to work all the late night, crappy shifts and the fitting rooms, and I'm the one working extra hours and coming in on my days off because of your panic attacks and sick calls, and I'm the one staying late because you can't get to work on time because you refuse to take a bus or drive, and then I'm the one getting in trouble because clothes aren't all put away and the floor looks messy because you aren't around, and you're busy having a breakdown instead of doing your job. Figure it out, OP. Counseling, pills, or just get over it...it's a room. It's just a freaking room, four walls, a ceiling, and a floor. You're lobbing excuses to get out of the crap work. Get a doctor's note if it's that bad and start aggressively seeing a pshrink and resolving these issues. You'll be lucky if you can hang on to a job for very long if you have this narrow ability of flexibility and long list of requirements while working retail.

And THIS is why people with mental health conditions suffer more needlessly. As someone who has a documented panic disorder and anxiety who has had therapy AND medications and STILL suffers from occasional panic attacks..... I don’t know maybe don’t work in retail or with people.

OP, I will be blunt here and say that perhaps this isn't the type of job for you.

Are there other jobs you could find, perhaps office-type jobs, where the issues of fitting rooms, messy areas, etc., wouldn't be of a concern?

Also, maybe trying to find a job with more regular, 8-5 type hours, so the walk home wouldn't be so late, and in the dark?

I have worked retail, for many years actually, so I completely get your frustrations here. I know that for me, when I left, a thousand weights lifted off of me. It might be helpful for you to look into something different.

Having said that, if your anxieties come from a place of true mental issues, then you have my sympathy/empathy, but yes, you will need your doctor to write you a note for your employer to have similar empathy.

I agree with LH girl and Jman and others who’ve said get a doctors note and consider whether this type of job is right for you.

I required only the simplest of accommodations, but the general manager said "absolutely not". So I had my doctor submit documents. After that my company HAD to accommodate me.

If you won't see your doctor and refuse to get the documentation, your employer isn't required to do a thing to help you. It's really the only way.

I have a couple of examples on my team of this sort of thing. One individual has recommendations from his doctor that he not work weekends (everyone has to do a weekend rotation for critical incidents) and as he excels in every other area and a formal recommendation from his dr. I completely support it. Another individual on my team claimed that she was unable to work unless she could sit right next to and look out the window... while I empathized with her (we have big open plan offices and only a select few get window seats) in this case she was unwilling to bring a doctors recommendation supporting her claims, so I asked her to sit in her assigned seat and that we would re-evaluate in a few weeks. Turns out she is totally fine without a window seat.

I see both sides of this and totally feel you OP... If you want your employer to take it seriously, you need to take it seriously and advocate for your mental health with your medical professional first and foremost. It isn't easy as many people don't understand or empathize but if you do your part (bring a doctors note, excel at your job) most employers will do theirs.

Also people have no idea why someone could have anxiety or claustrophobia. I have anxiety and panic disorder and PTSD from severe childhood sexual abuse. I have severe claustrophobia from the time I can ever remember made 1000 times worse when I was raped in a bathroom at 13. So imagine someone smashing your head into a floor and wall until you are unconscious and raping you and then tell me to “ get over “ my PTSD and panic disorder and fear of enclosed spaces. Or wake up to someone choking you and shoving their dYck in your mouth as a kid. But eff man take a pill and get over it.

We don’t know what people have suffered in life. A little sympathy goes along way .

Then you have essentially zero leg to stand on, OP.

 

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but your triggers are not your employer's problem if you have no medical documentation to back up your claims. This is why it's essential you speak to your doctor. I'm at a loss as to why you don't expect your doctor's support; that's what they are there for.

 

If you cannot do the job under the circumstances required, you should probably look for different work.

This^^. I work in employment law, dealing with ADA issues, and your employer is not obligated or required to accommodate your disability (which depression and anxiety both are) unless and until they receive a note from your doctor requiring them by law to do so.

Why won't your doctor provide a note for goodness sakes?

You need a new doctor! All my doctors wrote me notes to provide to my employers when necessary.

I also agree with posters who said this is not the right job for you.

I suffer from anxiety too and for that reason, I choose to work in a very small law firm/work environment for less money where there is a lot less stress/pressure which triggers my anxiety.

Also people have no idea why someone could have anxiety or claustrophobia. I have anxiety and panic disorder and PTSD from severe childhood sexual abuse. I have severe claustrophobia from the time I can ever remember made 1000 times worse when I was raped in a bathroom at 13. So imagine someone smashing your head into a floor and wall until you are unconscious and raping you and then tell me to “ get over “ my PTSD and panic disorder and fear of enclosed spaces. Or wake up to someone choking you and shoving their dYck in your mouth as a kid. But eff man take a pill and get over it.

 

We don’t know what people have suffered in life. A little sympathy goes along way .

Hugs vic xxxxxxxxxxx

I see both sides too .... probably because of the situations I have been in , which is why op must get medical support on all of it .

 

There is seeing both sides and there is saying ridiculous stuff like this

 

 

 

I mean ...come on ..

I totally understand what you are saying with that.

I won't lie though and say I didn't cringe reading OPs post. She got mad at her boss for keeping another girl on due to short staff. She was thinking of herself and getting a ride. No mention of just hey I'll stay and work too, obviously it's needed. No, oh that sucks, but it's not my boss nor coworkers responsibility to provide me with rides. She has this list of things she won't do ( all the poop work, and she can't work independently either) but expects the world from these people. Her boss is already going beyond with her. And she won't get a writ from the doc.

I find it a bit insulting really. I didn't, don't, have that attitude with work. I worked twice as hard to give if I couldn't do x y z . I never wanted to give people a reason to think my mental health issues would make me anything less than a fully competent team member and/or boss.

I totally understand what you are saying with that.

 

I won't lie though and say I didn't cringe reading OPs post. She got mad at her boss for keeping another girl on due to short staff. She was thinking of herself and getting a ride. No mention of just hey I'll stay and work too, obviously it's needed. No, oh that sucks, but it's not my boss nor coworkers responsibility to provide me with rides. She has this list of things she won't do ( all the poop work, and she can't work independently either) but expects the world from these people. Her boss is already going beyond with her. And she won't get a writ from the doc.

 

I find it a bit insulting really. I didn't, don't, have that attitude with work. I worked twice as hard to give if I couldn't do x y z . I never wanted to give people a reason to think my mental health issues would make me anything less than a fully competent team member and/or boss.

I do see what you saying grandy ...I kick off about MH issues , but that is if they are not being respected or treat right /spoken about . But yeah the op does need to meet her boss halfway and provide that doctors note ...I was hoping she would have come back and and maybe have a chat with us ..I am happy to openly speak about my mental health , as sherry and vic and others have . Someone pointed out to me earlier as well , that my advice regarding CAB is of no use if she is American ..we could have maybe guided her a bit more . Love to you grandy x

All in all , what this thread has shown op if you are reading , you are not alone , many of us have MH issues and that doctors letter is very very important .. your boss needs to have someting to work with . Please take the advice with kindness that is meant from people who are trying to say it but not hurt you x

Yes, one does need to try and get documentation. It is hard sometimes to work with some health professionals because they dismiss you . I have never asked for documentation but I have never asked for concessions. I have had to go the bathroom to get myself together before.

I have quit jobs due to anxiety including my last one but created my own business.

The only point I will make is, I hope everyone reading or replying to this post, will take time time to have some empathy. Consider how difficult it is to live like this.

Realize that sweeping people with mental illness under the rug because they're too difficult to deal with, is NOT the answer.

The human brain is only another part of the human body. It can have parts in it that doesn't work right starting from birth.

That doesn't make that person any less worthy or less important. That doesn't mean it's okay to tell them to go home and stay home because they're too difficult.

Mental illness is NOT a choice and no one would ever choose to live like this.

It's also why there are thousands of suicides a year. It's not only due to the suffering from these conditions but the intolerance from society.

Should our society adapt? Why not? We adapt for those who are disabled. We accept them and adapt, such as having disabled parking. Swings in parks for disabled children who are in wheelchairs so the swing will accommodate their wheelchair. We can see they struggle and try to work with them in order for them to fit into our society.

That's a good thing and how it should be!!!!

So please, be respectful, be careful on your response and have some empathy and kindness.