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Thread: Girlfriend wants to breakup

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
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    12
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Please do not try and be friends with her, this will be devaluing and even more painful. You do not want to hear about her new boyfriends. You should not be there for her, you are no longer dating, or her therapist. Wish her well, and tell not to contact you unless she wants reconciliation.

    Once you have healed- a year down the road- you could reestablish a friendship if you wish.

    I am sorry for your pain. Merry Christmas.
    Thanks for the reply. In a previous post I said I plan on instantly going full no contact and she agrees with this as it would be too painful for us.

    We are currently still together. We decided to see it through Christmas and then make a final decision.

    She isn't stringing me along or anything. She has made it clear she needs to learn how to live without me.
    The comment "if it is meant to be it will be" is what I said, not her

  2. #22
    Member
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    Dec 2018
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    I feel like some people replying are not reading the full thread or maybe I haven't been clear enough so I'd like to clean it up a bit.

    Reasons for breakup : she wants to be alone
    - she has only ever been with me throughout her adult life
    - my girlfriend was ill during the 1st year and a half of relationship and depended on me more than anyone else.
    - she feels that because of this she needs to learn how be alone and be happy with herself

    - We have not broken up yet and are waiting until after Christmas for a final decision.

    - even now we are happy together and having a great time but If being alone is what she needs I will let her go.

    - I will not beg or plead but I will tell her if she thinks she has made a mistake then let me know. I will not be waiting around for her but reconciliation is possible if we are both in the right place

    - if we break up we are not staying friends as it would be too painful and I will be going no contact

  3. #23
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    15,943
    I'm sorry you are hurting.

    Maybe take time for yourself on your own too. Take some time to reflect and enjoy yourself.

    I think it's healthy for people to learn to be alone and to depend upon themselves. And it's more common than not for high school sweethearts to go their own ways as they get a bit into adulthood.

    My only suggestion would be.. in the future, don't look for serious commitment unless the person has already learned to do that. I get it, you were kids, you fell in love. Now as an adult though, careful not to try and swoop in and become a knight to a woman who is still finding her bearings in life.

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