My girl says she loves me, yet doesn't want a relationship label?

So I have been seeing this girl since September and it has been amazing for the most part. She told me she was falling, and that she loves me.

Yesterday she asked why we never talked about what we were and I said we'll you're my girlfriend. However, she then proceed to say that she doesn't like using those words and posting pictures up on social media because it changes once there a label attached, and that she feels that she "loses a part of herself" yet she calls me her man and I have met numerous people of her friends and family. She doesn't want to talk to anyone else, its only each other... but

How should I interpret her not wanting a relationship label although she says she loves me and calls me her "man"?

How old is she?

She doesn't make much sense to me. She was worried why you were never talked about what you are, yet balked at the idea of being called your girlfriend and considering yourself in a relationship. She calls you her man, but not her boyfriend (what is the difference?)

It would be one thing if she felt things were moving too fast or something, but to me, this sounds more like a girl who doesn't want to fully commit to you. In my experience, these types are more trouble than they're worth - if you are seeking a relationship, that is.

This is her stuff. Because she opened the topic of 'what are we?', when you gave a straight forward answer, she proceeds to this labels and social media speech. Was her point that she is rebellious or wanted to pontificate on the evils of labels?

What did she want to hear? Have you asked her? Answer loaded rhetorical questions with equally loaded rhetorical questions to cut to the chase. Have you asked her "well what do you want us to be?"

Are you exclusive? Are thinking she wants to keep her options open?

Yesterday she asked why we never talked about what we were and I said we'll you're my girlfriend. However, she then proceed to say that she doesn't like using those words and posting pictures up on social media because it changes once there a label attached, and that she feels that she "loses a part of herself"

How old is she?

 

She doesn't make much sense to me. She was worried why you were never talked about what you are, yet balked at the idea of being called your girlfriend and considering yourself in a relationship. She calls you her man, but not her boyfriend (what is the difference?)

 

It would be one thing if she felt things were moving too fast or something, but to me, this sounds more like a girl who doesn't want to fully commit to you. In my experience, these types are more trouble than they're worth - if you are seeking a relationship, that is.

It is weird to me as well because I have met plenty of her friends, parents, family... spent Thanksgiving with her and soon to be Christmas and New Years. Tells me she couldn't be happier, and no ones ever treated her like this. She "gushes" to all of her friends about me as well. We did meet in a dating app, however we both deleted them all a while ago (she even showed me her phone) She says she only wants me and shes in love with me.

It is weird to me as well because I have met plenty of her friends, parents, family... spent Thanksgiving with her and soon to be Christmas and New Years. Tells me she couldn't be happier, and no ones ever treated her like this. She "gushes" to all of her friends about me as well. We did meet in a dating app, however we both deleted them all a while ago (she even showed me her phone) She says she only wants me and shes in love with me.

I am gathering she doesn't want to declare herself "in a relationship" online, right?

I am gathering she doesn't want to declare herself "in a relationship" online, right?

Correct, and I have asked her and we are monogamous

Correct, and I have asked her and we are monogamous

This is where I also don't think she's making much sense.

I don't post anything about my relationship online, simply because I choose not to broadcast the most personal parts of my life on social media. I am a teacher (of adults) and some students have found me online and tried to contact me; I strongly prefer to keep my personal and professional life separate and don't wish to invite my students into my "outside-the-classroom" life. I have been in a committed, monogamous relationship for 4 years and my nearest and dearest all know it.

If it were a situation like the one I described above, or if she were simply a private person and cited that as her reason, I could understand. But the reason she gave you - that she doesn't want to lose herself in a relationship - is unrelated to privacy, it seems. If she fears losing herself in a relationship, I would think she'd be a lot more concerned with keeping you away from her personal life offline, where true emotional intimacy develops. She appears fine with having a solid relationship there, though.

Do you know if she's a got a recent ex lurking around somewhere or some such thing? Someone she doesn't want to know she's in a relationship with you?

More information would be needed to fully understand this dilemma. Does she have any pics from previous relationships on her social media? If not, she may be just extremely private online. However, there is a fine line between privacy and secrecy. It's odd that you have spent time with her family and friends, yet she desires this low profile online. Would she be ok with you posting a picture on your profile, even if not tagging her? I would push this issue a bit further to elucidate the underlying motive. Secrecy of a relationship in and of itself is a huge red flag.

Yep... at the very least, thinking that she will lose herself if the rest of the world knows she's in a relationship suggests she has some issues around healthy boundaries...!

I think that if she doesn't want to acknowledge you publicly, it's either because there's someone she's hiding you from, or because she wants to keep her options open. I found it a massive relief when my partner and I acknowledged our relationship on FB, because it instantly stopped all the unwanted messages/advances from other men.

If you do want an exclusive relationship with her, you need to talk about it. If it frightens her off, that's a clear indication you're looking for different things.