Need help!!!

Okay, this story is messy and something I'm not proud of so please don't start responding and trying to shame me because I already know, I get it. With that being said let me begin: So I married my high school sweetheart after 6 years of dating. We were 21 and should of not been getting married. Post wedding, I found out from the best man of the wedding that my new husband had apparently been cheating (having sex for two months prior to the wedding) on me with a girl who was in our friend group aka she was at the wedding, bought us a wedding gift, etc. Anyways, I confront my husband and tell him what I know he admits it, we're both distraught and I left for two months. The best man who told me was very gracious (sarcasm intended) and invited me to come stay with him while I figure things out. I did not want to tell my family since they had just spend thousands of dollars on my wedding so I just kept quiet and lived with the best man for two months. After getting married a week ago, and finding out you've been cheated on you tend to be vulnerable. Well in this time of emotion and vulnerability, the best man swooped in and fully took advantage. I slept with him multiple times before realizing that I just wanted to get out of there. Also throughout these two months of living with him I was still communicating with my husband and decided I'd go back to him A) because I wanted to get out of the best mans house and B) I still had feelings for him and decided maybe we could work something out. My husband did not know where I was staying so I just told him a friends house, no more questions really came up about it. Also my husband clearly did not speak to the best man anymore since he ratted him out. Anyways, when I finally left the best man literally went insane. He would drive by my husband and I's house and call me nonstop and text me all hours of the day about how he wanted to kill himself and he was going to tell my husband everything if I didn't let him back into my life. After being black mailed for weeks I said okay because I was terrified of him. He basically had me on call when he wanted to have sex and I pretended to care about him literally just to keep him quiet. This didn't go on for very long and I managed to weasel my way out of the situation many times. I eventually divorced my husband due to our own issues with his cheating continuing and on the inside I knew I was just as guilty. Anyways, it didn't work out and probably for the best. So timeline wise, all this has transpired in around an 8 month period from wedding to divorce. Fast forward about a year later and this best man is still trying to win me over and get me to be with him and if I don't "give him a chance" then he says he'll either kill himself, or post a something online about how I cheated on my ex-husband with him, or since "I'm hurting him then he has to hurt me" or he'll fight my current boyfriend (yes I'm dating someone now, will be discussed later). So after everything cooling down for a while I met this guy (wasn't looking for anyone but things kind of fell into place) who is the definition of a perfect, kind, and wholesome human. Anyways, best man sees a photo of me and current boyfriend online (he's blocked but I presume got on someone else's phone) and goes ballistic and starts the whole process over again that he's going to ruin me, or kill himself or fight my boyfriend. My boyfriend knows about my divorce and that the best man has been essentially stalking me for a good time now and just tells me not to worry about it. However, he doesn't know about all the cheating and messy living situation I dealt with. But, at this point I'm not sure if or when I should tell him everything. I really do not want to have to tell every messy detail about my past, as i'm sure others have felt too. But at the same time, if he knew everything I could finally just tell the best man to essentially off and take away this leverage he has over me. But then again he could just be bluffing to get me to give him a chance. I'm really not sure what to do and I just want this best man to disappear out of my life. He should of never been in my life and I regret every minute with him that has led me to this point. Anyways, I know this is a lot to take in, but it's my life and i'm just seeking some kind of help or advice as to how to tell the best man in the kindest but sternest way that I will never be with him, but also need him to not go crazy again. He knows where I live, where I work and where I go to school.

Best man sounds like a manipulative abusive stalking psycho. 👹 You need to block and delete him and all his people from all your messaging and social media. Go into all your social media privacy settings and reset everything to the most private settings.

Why plaster your new romance publicly when you are being stalked by this psycho? Notify him that you will get a restraining order if it continues.

Why not lie low you until get a restraining order in place? Use good judgement about what you reveal in a new relationship. You can't close that can of worms once you open it. Do not expect some new guy to 'rescue' you from anything you created with lack of boundaries and lack of appropriate legal remedies.

This will be as messy or as simple as you make it.

Don’t tell your new boyfriend about any of it. It happened before you met him, it’s not his business.

Take all of these threatening texts to the police and get an order of protection and then block the stalker’s number. That’s it. Don’t do anything else. Do not respond to him, do not answer phone calls.

Stop tolerating bullsh*t and you won’t have any bullsh*t in your life. Learn from your mistakes and never put yourself in a situation like this again.

Also, I’m sorry your ex husband was such a sleaze. I have no idea how I would handle my brand new husband cheating on me, so I can’t say I’d handle it any better than you did. My point is, don’t be too hard on yourself about it. You were emotionally distraught, angry, scared..just be sure to learn from it.

I just want to say: Did it not raise a red flag about how psycho this dude is when he waited until you were married to tell you that your new husband was a piece of dog dropping?

Go to the police and stop trying to fix your own mistakes alone. Clearly you're not able to be your own fixer.

It's way past the point of you being kind to this individual. Get very clear with him that you are done, the door is closed, and if he doesn't leave you alone you will go to the police. There is nothing you can do about him knowing where you live, work and go to school... just start documenting everything he says and does and take it to the police so they can implement an order of protection to keep him away from those places.

As for him telling you he will kill himself... let him know that if he is indeed serious about this your next call will be to the police to tell them you are concerned that he is planning to kill himself. They will go over to his house to check on him.

Eventually he will get the message and leave you alone as long as you cut off all direct contact with him.

Please edit your post to break it into readable paragraphs.

That said, I am not slamming you, but going forward? Start taking responsibility for your own life choices and live honorably.

You changed your story.

In your original post you wrote that 8 months had gone by before you moved in with the best man. Now you're saying it was right after the wedding? You also described the best man as kind and gracious . And nothing about sleeping with him.

Your second thread also had the story different.

Anyway...just ask law enforcement for protection from his stalking. Stalking is a crime.

Under review.