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Thread: Little sister gone bad..??

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Leave her alone and stop analyzing this. She's a pubescent kid sister who needs her privacy, autonomy and some respect.. Stop trying to be friends. If you feel lonely or bored while home for the holidays reach out to some friends at home or back at school. Get out of the house. Go shopping, watch TV in your room, catch up on your social media but stop annoying, pestering, provoking and trying to manipulate and change her because you're bored.
    Originally Posted by Maggie822
    should I just leave her alone and keep to myself, or should I persist in trying to reach out to her? She's clearly giving the message that she doesn't want to talk

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    I have an 18-year-old stepdaughter who is barely tolerable at this point. But when she hit puberty? And through about age 17? Evil, horrible person!

    Self destructive, emotional basket case. Destroyed her room, failing in school, even took off for 10 days at age 15.

    My thinking is that some girls do not even know at all whatsoever how to handle the hormone changes in their lives. And anything in their life is magnified by that inability to cope.

    Sometimes we with we could put her in a hut for and let her out again when she is civilized.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    In 12-Step programs like Alanon (the support group for friends and families of alcoholics) there is a concept of 'detaching with love', which means that although you still love and care about the other person, you let them make their own decisions without taking them personally, and you stop reacting to their behaviour - for example, if someone's rude and dismissive for no apparent reason, you recognise that that's a statement about where they're at, and don't let it affect you personally.

    Your sister has made it clear that she doesn't want to have a close, friendly relationship with you - at least, not for the time being. The fact that you've been trying so hard will have already let her know that you're there if she needs you. Now, you need to carry on being pleasant and cheerful no matter how she behaves, but look to others for friendship and connection.

    Good luck!

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