Why is my ex gf that dumped me continuosly laughing at me even with her bf

We dated 2 months and she broke up with me about 2-3 months ago.

I'm getting sick of it she kept doing it with her friends and now as I was going bus stop she looked at me and said ''Oh my god'' and they both looked at me and stared and laughed, they kept looking and basically taking the piss... thye went upstairs and so did I they sat at the very back and I sat in front, They were definately talking about me, as I was getting off I could see him just staring at me through the window literally, its getting out of hand at this point..

is their problem I dont even care about her, I never chased her or anything I even declined her friendship and shes still being a bi*ch to me for what reason?

We ended on good terms there was no fighting involved so is the motive behind this I've done nothing at all, nothing I was always nice to her even after breakup...

This boyfriend of hers is the same guy she was flirting with when she was with me, she broke up with me a started seeing him, then 2 weeks later she came back wanting to be ''Friends'' I said no and now theyre dating... I ignore them but shes been doing this everyrime and its really getting on my nerves

How old are they?

She sounds quite immature. Just ignore her. Take out your phone and put headphones on if she's around. Start hanging out with and dating other girls.

I'm getting sick of it she kept doing it with her friends and now as I was going bus stop she looked at me and said ''Oh my god'' and they both looked at me and stared and laughed, they kept looking and basically taking the piss. its really getting on my nerves

She's 17 and him I dont know, I'm 18

She sounds quite immature. Just ignore her. Take out your phone and put headphones on if she's around. Start hanging out with and dating other girls.

I am but she's really pushing this man

Yes I now part of it is definately immaturity and pettyness, but I'm sorry now this is going the wrong way and I'm not having it

stop caring what they think and do to you.

stop caring about what anybody thinks of you.

her loss. she must be miserable inside to feel the need to be so mean to somebody she used to date and wanted to be "friends" with again.

the best revenge is to go out and have an awesome life and have a great time and have a lot of fun --- without her, without a care in the world what she says or does to you. So go do that.

stop caring what they think and do to you.

stop caring about what anybody thinks of you.

her loss. she must be miserable inside to feel the need to be so mean to somebody she used to date and wanted to be "friends" with again.

 

the best revenge is to go out and have an awesome life and have a great time and have a lot of fun --- without her, without a care in the world what she says or does to you. So go do that.

You are right man and I thankyou for your honesty, it's really upsetting because I wouldn't mind being friends or jsut be civil about it why laugh, I really could careless about what she thinks it just doesnt stop, and if it wont im going to say it to her face and she wont like it

She's 17 and him I dont know, I'm 18

There's the problem right there. It's called immaturity. Ignore them and eventually they will get tired of it.

I wouldn't mind being friends or jsut be civil

Of course. But realize transitioning from bf/gf to "just civil friends" can't happen immediately - there is too much emotion and memories and triggers of your relationship still for that to happen SUCCESSFULLY. The way i like to put it, "you must un-learn your relationship before you can learn a new friendship". It's going to take time away from each other without contact so you aren't continusously re-triggering your relationship to each other.. bla bla bla. It may never happen - but the best chance to make that happen is to let it be and take time away from each other for now - and for a while.

about it why laugh, I really could careless about what she thinks it just doesnt stop, and if it wont im going to say it to her face and she wont like it

No.. that's the exact WRONG way to handle this. I'll explain:

- Why is she doing this? Who knows. But it's her defense mechanicms kicking in. She has to justify in her own head either 1) why it was unsuccessful or 2) why she could've liked you and but you can't be together now. It could be peer pressure. But whatever, the end result is taht she has to make it look like you're the dope (not her) and that she's okay (not you) and that she's not hurt. Also, many people tend to hate eac hother after a break-up (just examine your own feelings.. you sorta of hate her too or are mad at her) so it's also possibly a way to get back or lash out with thsoe "mad/hate" emotions towards you. Whatever it is.. she's doing it because of whatever is INSIDE OF HER HEAD - has nothing to do with you. Undrestand?

- By getting upset, reacting, "telling it to her face" and allowing it to visibly bother you - SHE WINS. She gets what she wants. it makes HER look CORRECT about everythigni she's teasing you on if you get mad, react, thrreaten her, lose control. And thus IN HER HEAD she now thinks she's proven to everybody she was right, including in her own head. Is that what you want? i don't think so.

Do you want to win this battle? Not ler her win? Then this is what you do:

- don't let it bother you.

- don't care about what she or anybody else thinks.. just be you and go about your day

- as i said before the BEST revenge is to let her take her best shots, and not let it effect you in any way and go and have an AWESOME day and AWESOME life! (just look at how much you can't STAND her having a good time getting on your case... see? she's trying to do this to you! so how mad do you think it'll drive her if you REVERSE THE TABLES?)

just do you.

have a great time.

be an awesome person and do awesome fun things.

1) it'll drive her INSANE and make HER look like the bad/crazy one (not you!)

2) some OTHER girl will notice how cool and calm you've been about it, how you're having an awesome time - and will want to be your next gf (THAT wil drive her mad also!) who knows... it could be one of her FRIENDS (the ultimate revenge!)

:)

Of course. But realize transitioning from bf/gf to "just civil friends" can't happen immediately - there is too much emotion and memories and triggers of your relationship still for that to happen SUCCESSFULLY. The way i like to put it, "you must un-learn your relationship before you can learn a new friendship". It's going to take time away from each other without contact so you aren't continusously re-triggering your relationship to each other.. bla bla bla. It may never happen - but the best chance to make that happen is to let it be and take time away from each other for now - and for a while.

 

 

No.. that's the exact WRONG way to handle this. I'll explain:

 

- Why is she doing this? Who knows. But it's her defense mechanicms kicking in. She has to justify in her own head either 1) why it was unsuccessful or 2) why she could've liked you and but you can't be together now. It could be peer pressure. But whatever, the end result is taht she has to make it look like you're the dope (not her) and that she's okay (not you) and that she's not hurt. Also, many people tend to hate eac hother after a break-up (just examine your own feelings.. you sorta of hate her too or are mad at her) so it's also possibly a way to get back or lash out with thsoe "mad/hate" emotions towards you. Whatever it is.. she's doing it because of whatever is INSIDE OF HER HEAD - has nothing to do with you. Undrestand?

 

- By getting upset, reacting, "telling it to her face" and allowing it to visibly bother you - SHE WINS. She gets what she wants. it makes HER look CORRECT about everythigni she's teasing you on if you get mad, react, thrreaten her, lose control. And thus IN HER HEAD she now thinks she's proven to everybody she was right, including in her own head. Is that what you want? i don't think so.

 

Do you want to win this battle? Not ler her win? Then this is what you do:

- don't let it bother you.

- don't care about what she or anybody else thinks.. just be you and go about your day

- as i said before the BEST revenge is to let her take her best shots, and not let it effect you in any way and go and have an AWESOME day and AWESOME life! (just look at how much you can't STAND her having a good time getting on your case... see? she's trying to do this to you! so how mad do you think it'll drive her if you REVERSE THE TABLES?)

 

just do you.

have a great time.

be an awesome person and do awesome fun things.

1) it'll drive her INSANE and make HER look like the bad/crazy one (not you!)

2) some OTHER girl will notice how cool and calm you've been about it, how you're having an awesome time - and will want to be your next gf (THAT wil drive her mad also!) who knows... it could be one of her FRIENDS (the ultimate revenge!)

 

:)

Well this literally just made my day, thank you, I will definately keep that in mind for sure, I won't react and I'll try my best to ignore it, I wont face her unless she physically attacks me or something but yeah on the real tho its best not to react you're right.

There's the problem right there. It's called immaturity. Ignore them and eventually they will get tired of it.

She didnt do this with her prvious ex? She saw him and didnt say a word when she dated me, but shes dating this new guy now and shes all of a sudden being a pain in the back for what reason... We may never know...

I won't react and I'll try my best to ignore it, I wont face her unless she physically attacks me or something but yeah on the real tho its best not to react you're right.

don't TRY young grasshopper. To say you will "TRY" means in your mind you are convinced you can't do it.

Stop "trying" to get thigns done.. just DO IT and get it done.

Repeat this to yourself... "i will not react to her. I do not care about how she teases me going forward. I will ignore her." and keep repeating that to yourself.

See how differntly that sounds and feels to: "i will try to ignore her and try not to react to her"...???

trust me when i say - LANGUAGE is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT in how it makes us think, internarlize, and FEEL about what we just said. I can guarantee you i can tell you exactly who is going to be successful and not successful just by the words they use. SO.. do you WANT to be successful with this? Or just "try your best" to be successful?

The words you choose will deteremine if you are successful or not.

don't TRY young grasshopper. To say you will "TRY" means in your mind you are convinced you can't do it.

Stop "trying" to get thigns done.. just DO IT and get it done.

 

Repeat this to yourself... "i will not react to her. I do not care about how she teases me going forward. I will ignore her." and keep repeating that to yourself.

 

See how differntly that sounds and feels to: "i will try to ignore her and try not to react to her"...???

 

trust me when i say - LANGUAGE is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT in how it makes us think, internarlize, and FEEL about what we just said. I can guarantee you i can tell you exactly who is going to be successful and not successful just by the words they use. SO.. do you WANT to be successful with this? Or just "try your best" to be successful?

 

The words you choose will deteremine if you are successful or not.

I can promise you I wont react for sure

you don't have to promise me anything - it doesn't affect or bother me.

you need to learn/undersatnd what i'm saying for YOURSELF.

repeat that line and notice the difference in how it feels to say it, how ou feel after you say it, etc.

here's a little assignment. Go about your day and just observe people (your friends or coworkers) - the people you run into regualrly. Notice who uses the terms "trying", "doing my best to", "thinking about" statements vs the peopel who say "will" "am" and more "just do it" type phrases. Keep tabs and score.

Then go back and see who actually achieved what they said and who didn't.

Then use that info to your advantage in how you speak and conduct yourself int he future. ALSO, you can use this information in dating too to see who you should spend energy on and who's a waste of time as well.

you don't have to promise me anything - it doesn't affect or bother me.

you need to learn/undersatnd what i'm saying for YOURSELF.

 

repeat that line and notice the difference in how it feels to say it, how ou feel after you say it, etc.

 

here's a little assignment. Go about your day and just observe people (your friends or coworkers) - the people you run into regualrly. Notice who uses the terms "trying", "doing my best to", "thinking about" statements vs the peopel who say "will" "am" and more "just do it" type phrases. Keep tabs and score.

Then go back and see who actually achieved what they said and who didn't.

 

Then use that info to your advantage in how you speak and conduct yourself int he future. ALSO, you can use this information in dating too to see who you should spend energy on and who's a waste of time as well.

It does make a good difference to be honest lol, thats actually crazy

It does make a good difference to be honest lol, thats actually crazy

i KNOW right???? it's very sub-conscious but the difference is HUUUUUUGE...

This is why most of what happens to us is actually under our OWN control. Because we internalize within ourselves the outcome before we ever attempt anything just by the language we use.

So.. knowing this. We can use this to our advantage -- learn to use language correctly to help the way you internalize it and thus get the results you TRULY want. (and as i mentioned before.. use it to know well ahead of time what other people will actually be doing and not doing so you don't waste time).

i KNOW right???? it's very sub-conscious but the difference is HUUUUUUGE...

This is why most of what happens to us is actually under our OWN control. Because we internalize within ourselves the outcome before we ever attempt anything just by the language we use.

So.. knowing this. We can use this to our advantage -- learn to use language correctly to help the way you internalize it and thus get the results you TRULY want. (and as i mentioned before.. use it to know well ahead of time what other people will actually be doing and not doing so you don't waste time).

Yeah definately, But you think she'll stop? I honestly don't mind seeing her but the only thing that bothers me is her behaviour thats all, her boyfriend just stares at me...

the quicker and faster you can show you aren't affected and don't care and nothign they can do can bother you

and the quicker and faster you are able to just have fun DESPITE them and be awesome DESPITE THEM...

yes.. you will be SHOCKED at how quickly they will stop when they realize nothign they can do will work on you. (like i said.. it starts to make THEM look stupid if nobody cares or reacts to what they do or say to you).

For now.. I would strongly recommend NOT being in contact with her or seeing her to help yo achieve the first 2 lines above to help expedite making her stop. The more you engage with her and reward her with your attention - the more she'll do it and the longer it'll take her to stop.

the quicker and faster you can show you aren't affected and don't care and nothign they can do can bother you

and the quicker and faster you are able to just have fun DESPITE them and be awesome DESPITE THEM...

 

yes.. you will be SHOCKED at how quickly they will stop when they realize nothign they can do will work on you. (like i said.. it starts to make THEM look stupid if nobody cares or reacts to what they do or say to you).

 

For now.. I would strongly recommend NOT being in contact with her or seeing her to help yo achieve the first 2 lines above to help expedite making her stop. The more you engage with her and reward her with your attention - the more she'll do it and the longer it'll take her to stop.

ugh you're right but the thing is, she left me for the guy she's with now... Like they had sex and everything and now she's being like this ok?

If anything it would make more sense if I was the one craving attention... It doesnt make sense to me, she hurt me.

it's not that black and white my friend.

For all you know she is with him specifically to HURT you and SHOW YOU she "doesn't need or care for you" as a defense mechanism for it not working with you.

Lets face it, we're all a bit defiant to our ex's in the aftermath.

right now her modus operandi is that she's tryign to show you up - for whateer reason. and it really odens't matter so stop dwelling and using up your energies on figuring it out - it's negative, it makes you look negative, it makes you look bad. all that matters is she's tryign to show you up.

do you want to dwell on that and nitpick as to whether she should or not when she's going to anyway? (that's a waste of energy). you can't control her, influence her, or modify her behavior. ALL you can do is control WHAT YOU DO about it.

it's not that black and white my friend.

For all you know she is with him specifically to HURT you and SHOW YOU she "doesn't need or care for you" as a defense mechanism for it not working with you.

Lets face it, we're all a bit defiant to our ex's in the aftermath.

 

right now her modus operandi is that she's tryign to show you up - for whateer reason. and it really odens't matter so stop dwelling and using up your energies on figuring it out - it's negative, it makes you look negative, it makes you look bad. all that matters is she's tryign to show you up.

 

do you want to dwell on that and nitpick as to whether she should or not when she's going to anyway? (that's a waste of energy). you can't control her, influence her, or modify her behavior. ALL you can do is control WHAT YOU DO about it.

That's true man, I just heard new stuff that she did behind my back i dont know if its true but it hurts and Its disgusting I dont even want to mention it, but thanks for the advise and support.

yeah.. stop hearing stuff about her. tell peopel around you to not tell you anything about her anymore

for those that insist to keep telling you stuff about her - break contact with them. they're not helping you thus they are not your friends.

SEE.. it is ALL under your control. YOU CONTROL what you can do about it - so CONTROL IT.

no contact (see why it's bad to ahve any contact) and contact includes keeping tabs on her, hearing about her, finding out about her - END ANYTHIGN that keeps you connected to her in any way.

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