Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 57

Thread: Is This An Effective Punishment?

  1. #21
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,348
    Gender
    Female
    But punishing a child because they were upset they couldn’t talk to their mom and they changed their mind about the store is ridiculous .

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,716
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    But punishing a child because they were upset they couldn’t talk to their mom and they changed their mind about the store is ridiculous .
    We don't know what else happened. Being upset is okay, but if the child took it out on others/copped an attitude which made them disrespectful to their grandparents over it, broke house rules, was disrespectful and the whole day snowballed after that - and the child asked to go to the store before (the grandparent was going at the childs request) or needed to go (could not be left home alone, were buying clothes for the child, etc, grandparent was limited on when they could because of the child), etc., the grandparent is entitled to take away priveleges if they saw fit.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    12,378
    Gender
    Female
    We don't know what else happened.
    Then why 'guess' at what happened and lets just wait and see what the Op has to say about those who are speculating that he acted out. Its pointless to be giving opinions on what wasn't shared.

    The kid was "upset" because he couldn't talk to his mother. The Op DID NOT say that he carried that over to disrespect his grandfather... only that he changed his mind to go to the store.

    But punishing a child because they were upset they couldn’t talk to their mom and they changed their mind about the store is ridiculous .
    Based on what was shared in the opening post, yes it was it was ridiculous, it was cruel and it was emotionally abusive. Even if he did act out to the grandfather then taking away his time with the pets permanently is absurd.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    11,873
    As a response to this, my father decided to punish him by not allowing him to go near the dogs permanently.
    Absolutely disgusting ...and permanently !!!!, he knows nothing about children and certainly nothing about autism . Not much more to be said and certainly nothing to be debated over .

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    11,873
    We can disagree on my assessment (and your assessment) but this is what I was reacting to. The child was upset earlier that day over a simple phone call.
    That phone call was with the childs mother ... if life gets in the way you cannot expect a child to just say ahhh ok then ...This could have felt like his world collapsing ....he is a child ...

  7. #26
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    7,372
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    But punishing a child because they were upset they couldn’t talk to their mom and they changed their mind about the store is ridiculous .
    First off I wish I hadn't read this thread cuz I'm pretty upset now thinking about your poor nepthew and how he will never be able to play with the dogs again, the one and only thing in the world that gave him pleasure.

    Second I agree with S and others, the punishment does NOT fit the "crime". I mean not wanting to go to the store? How is this not having manners and being rude and inconsiderate?

    Is there more to this OP that you're not sharing? Like did your nephew start swearing at his grandfather, stomping his feet, throwing a tantrum or something?

    I mean, that might warrant some form of punishment, perhaps not allowing him to play with the dogs for a few days, but permanently????

    I'm just not understanding this at all, and yes it does sound like some form of mental/emotional abuse.

  8. #27
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,348
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    That phone call was with the childs mother ... if life gets in the way you cannot expect a child to just say ahhh ok then ...This could have felt like his world collapsing ....he is a child ...
    Exactly, it would make a child heartbroken. I remember when my son was 14 my MIL took my son’s phone under the guise of “ keeping it safe” but it was so he didn’t talk to me. My son has bad anxiety ( which most Autistic people have)and separation anxiety. I ROASTED her azz for doing that.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    15,942
    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    That phone call was with the childs mother ... if life gets in the way you cannot expect a child to just say ahhh ok then ...This could have felt like his world collapsing ....he is a child ...
    That's what I was thinking too. He must be feeling so confused, sad, and alone.

    I don't know as much about autism and children as others on the board. I think any child though would be struggling with this situation. He's only 11, his mom isn't there, suddenly he's living with grandma and grandpa, and now grandpas telling him he can't even play with the dogs. How lonely he must feel! Poor little guy.

  10. #29
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    35,348
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    That's what I was thinking too. He must be feeling so confused, sad, and alone.

    I don't know as much about autism and children as others on the board. I think any child though would be struggling with this situation. He's only 11, his mom isn't there, suddenly he's living with grandma and grandpa, and now grandpas telling him he can't even play with the dogs. How lonely he must feel! Poor little guy.
    Exactly, this whole situation is devastating to a child never mind a child with a disability . Grandpa better inform himself.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    11,873
    I am dossed out on my sofa watching something and this keeps creeping in my mind ..imagine ..using a dog as punishment , given that a punishment was needed and in my mind there is no reason here ..he needed some calm time , he needed a cuddle and some understanding . But to use the dogs ...it is no different then me telling my daughter when she was younger , right that's it , you can't play with the cat , ever again ...there are no words to describe how ridiculous and sick this is .
    Last edited by pippy longstocking; 12-18-2018 at 08:14 PM.

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •