Any advice?

Hi,

I started having a huge crush on this girl in my class after my ex broke up with me, but i didn't ask her out, just let her know to which she responded by telling me to move on (we would still talk a lot and became friends). Over the summer vacation, I got over her but as soon as school reopened, she asked me out. I was so confused and surprised that I didnt know what to say, because I just finished getting over her after so long and I thought it might be a prank or something. But then it turned out that she actually had a crush on me and I fell in love with her again but then one of her friends asked her out and she accepted. Now its been 2 months and I still have a crush on her and she is still dating him.

I just want to know whether she still likes me or not

She once wrote in the back of my notebook, 'Stay the same, _____, Wait for me till 12th

Nothing major happened after that but we started talking like we used to.

But her bf decided that they could make this serious and marry each other.

I feel like she still flirts with me a little bit but she isnt giving any more signs or ill spread it again or something, she also flirts with another guy idk if its to make me jealous or not (a guy asked her if she would choose him or me and she said me but maybe she said it because i was there that time).

She also told me that after her last bf, the guys who had a crush on her never made a move like she was expecting them too and i think she was saying that because of me.

She once gave me a book to read( we exchange books all the time) and in it was a note saying 'Even if we cant be a thing, just know that i would have loved to. Sometimes just knowing is way better than having it all.' and when I asked her about it, she said that she doesnt remember writing anything but when i showed it to her, she said that she wrote it for her bf for telling him that his love wasnt one sided (??) and that it somehow ended up in that book. I feel like did this just to make sure i dont think she wrote it for me and tell everyone but it was meant for me..? i dont knoww

I also asked her recently if i should get over her and she said yes (she cant say no because that would be disloyal right?) and since then shes been talking to other guys more, making me really really jealous.

she also rarely calls me 'brother' but then says shes just used to calling people brother but i feel like she does it just to see my reaction.

Im still trying to get over her but i dont if i shd because of last time.

Im confused

and sorry for writing a book.

and i also hate myself and i would love to die but i believe in the afterlife and the consequences of committing suicide so i just hope a car hits me or something.

Oh and once in class (yesterday) she was looking at me and i looked at her, then she looked at me again and then she covered her face in my direction with her hand like i was distracting her or something. (think that was a sign that she still liked me and wanted me to know??)

the thing is, she is my ONLY friend and the only person i love being with while she has loads of friends so she can get on fine with me being absent but she is the only person i can think about.

I also have a the lowest possible self esteem and think i am very ugly and worthless and i shd just stop being such a loser.

shes an amazing, friendly and lovely person, and i would love being with her :(

no she does not like you. If you and her were dating and she suddenly accepted dating somebody else - she doesn't ultimately want to be with you.

YOu were here rebound or ego-stroke perhaps while she was feeling down.

no we never dated, i had a crush on her when she didnt and she had a crush on me when i didnt but when we both finally liked each other, her bestfriend asked her out and she said yes to him

during that time, iasked her out as a joke while texting and she replied with 'yesssssssssss but im occupied at the moment'

why do you hate yourself by the way? there is no reason to. the more important thing to talk about may be why you hate yourself, and why you feel the answer is to die. (I almost committed suicide 20 yrs ago... every time i think about that night -- and i was suicidal probably for about 2-3 months during that time - i cry more than anythign else that has ever made me cry... because i realize how much stuff i would have never got to experience and do that I have now because i found a way to stay alive... BELIEVE ME.. dying is never the answer. Staying alive is always the answer because you NEVER know when your life will turn around. What if our life is about to turn around in 1 week? 1 month? 1 year? Wouldn't you find a way to stay alive for 1 yr knowing that in 1 yr the rest of your life is going to phenomenal?

The trick i used was this: I am experiencing the WORST in life right now... i owe it to myself to stay alive so that i can AT LEAST experience the BEST in life ..... once. Once i do that if i want to check out i can. But the funny thing is, once you figure out and experience the best in life -- you wan tto stick around so you can experience more of it.

that's what worked for me. maybe that will work for you too. If you aren't sure, i highly recommend speaking to a professional who can help you with more ideas on what might work for you. Nobody should feel, and there is no reason for anybody to ever feel like they hate themselves to the point they feel they need to die. So please don't. And please find a way to stay alive - even if you get help or help in finding ideas and ways to stay alive.

yeah let her go. if you were both available and liked each other at the same time and she decided to date somebody else - she is not interested in anything besides "just friends" with you. sorry.

in school, everyday i see everyone laughing and having fun with their 4 friends while im just alone in the hallways pretending to enjoy it.

i try being with other people but whats the point when you get a feeling that they'll all gladly watch you die for a 100 dollars.

im always super nice to everyone , to the point where everyone just takes advantage of me and like an idiot i never say no.

i never say this to anyone because thats not very humble but im sick of keeping it to myself.

everytime i look in the mirror, i just see an ugly and pathetic person who no one cares about. I hate myself for all the choices i keep making and about how pathetic i am (most of the break times, i lock myself in a bathroom stall and cry, while hearing everyone outside having a great time),

i know everyone goes through tough times but that doesnt mean they go through it alone.

i dont know why is everything like this but i know its me who keeps isolating myself and convincing myself that i am worthless and i hate myself sooo much for it

but everytime i try to change things it just makes me more dissappointed and sad thinking about why did i even bother, nothing will ever change

everyone at home keeps discouraging me, telling me that im going to fail, i dont study, when im trying my best.

i would love to die but my father works very hard and i dont want him to think he did something wrong, and i believe in hell but the second i get a chance, ill sacrifice myself for saving someone else's life.

that girl is the only person in the world who cares about me, she slaps me soo hard when she sees my cuts, she would do her best to cheer me up when im sad and will always tell me that im not ugly or worthless. but she has so many other friends too, so i cant be with her all the time.

i keep this all a secret from my family (i considered telling them but im 101% sure its a bad idea) so i cant talk to a therapist or something.

im not depressed, im just a stupid idiot who doesnt know how to live life.

and yes everyone who i open up to, tells me everything will get better, and in the future, you will be glad that you didnt give up

really stresses me not knowing how close (or far away) i am from being happy

yeah let her go. if you were both available and liked each other at the same time and she decided to date somebody else - she is not interested in anything besides "just friends" with you. sorry.

well i guess ill give up then, but i text and talk to her every single day so its gonna be pretty tough.

i try talking to other girls so that i can replace her thoughts with other girls, but whenever i do, she noticeably talks to other guys more which hurts me.

ill eventually get over her, but i cant believe just a 'yes' wouldve changed everything

Just keep saying to yourself "there are plenty of nice girls I could hangout with or go out with".

Just keep saying to yourself "there are plenty of nice girls I could hangout with or go out with".

hmm well i never really tried convincing myself that, guess ill try

thanks!!!

well i guess ill give up then, but i text and talk to her every single day so its gonna be pretty tough.

i try talking to other girls so that i can replace her thoughts with other girls, but whenever i do, she noticeably talks to other guys more which hurts me.

ill eventually get over her, but i cant believe just a 'yes' wouldve changed everything

1. Easy vs Hard has nothign to do with it. Focus on doing right vs wrong

2. You don't have to give up talking to her, you have to give up on the idea that you can be bf/gf because she is showing too many signs that she is not interested in bf/gf with you.

3. You need to stop paying attention to what she is doing and keeping tabs on her - you can see how it's hurting you. Plus the more time you are paying attention to her the less time you are noticing other girls who may like you and tring to get your attention.

4. You need to stop dwellign in the past and what could've been or shoul'dve been. The past ist he past. You can't change it. The reality is she is not interested in bf/gf with you. Time to move on.

1. Easy vs Hard has nothign to do with it. Focus on doing right vs wrong

2. You don't have to give up talking to her, you have to give up on the idea that you can be bf/gf because she is showing too many signs that she is not interested in bf/gf with you.

3. You need to stop paying attention to what she is doing and keeping tabs on her - you can see how it's hurting you. Plus the more time you are paying attention to her the less time you are noticing other girls who may like you and tring to get your attention.

4. You need to stop dwellign in the past and what could've been or shoul'dve been. The past ist he past. You can't change it. The reality is she is not interested in bf/gf with you. Time to move on.

ok, forget about a future with her, open your eyes to other girls and dont keep thinking about what we could've been

and thank you so much for the support and advice, never thought someone would even reply at all

anytime.. remember... you can't make decisions based on things being easy or hard. all the good things are HARD!

so.. always make decisions on what's right and wrong - regardless how hard it is.

you will find in most cases that once you do that, the "hard" stuff is never as hard as you thought it was.

good luck and do think about seeing a counselor to help with the self-hate and "gotta die" thoughts. Yo don't want that in your head very long.