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Thread: Humilited myself fter breakup

  1. #1

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    Humilited myself fter breakup

    I am a 27 yr old female, guy is 29. My ex boyfriend broke up with me in August and I went crazy after the breakup, I am so guilty about how far I took things and it haunts me everyday. I know the break up needed to happen because it was very toxic but for some reason I wouldn't let go. I scratched his car with my key, I cut up a pair of boots I got him, I sent his mom a nasty text message, I begged and screamed and he rejected me over an over again. It gets worse, once he said it was over I went to stay with a friend because we lived together nd he was already facetiming other women and it was so painful to be around. so one night I came to the house and let myself in and he was facetiming the same girl so I yelled at her and he hung up. He told me I was crazy and needed to leave but I refused to and I threatened to kill myself and then another time I did the same exact thing. Yes, I do see a therapist and I take medication; I have MDD nd PTSD. He told me that I should be over the situation because he was and we only dated a year nd a half so I should already be over it and he told me he needed to get a girlfriend to prove to me we'd never get back together. I had hit rock bottom and I let him see me that way and it was sooooo embarrassing. The last time I tried to get him back was October, since then I've not spoken to him about us but we did have to speak about some final bills from the apartment. I go to the gym at a different time to completely avoid seeing him and I am slowly feeling better at times. Although I know it would never happen somedays I have that little peace of hope but I fight it.

    If you are going through a breakup please don't do the things I did, trust me not only will you push them to the point of no return, you will feel soooo embarrassed. Any advice, comments, questions is great

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I hope you have learned from your bad behaviour and that you will not do anything like that ever again. Please keep seeing your therapist until he or she deems you to be in a much better frame of mind.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Honey if I told you half the crap I did to humiliate myself while not even post break up but while IN my toxic marriage, trust me, you arenít the only person who embarrassed themselves. Sometimes the other person can push just the right button, not saying itís right just that I get it. To this day, I think back to the early days and the hurt I felt and the stupid things I did, abuse I apologized for, it stings, I feel so bad for that girl, she was in so much pain. In therapy I apologized to that girl. It helped a lot, It seems very abstract but it helped.

    Look you have your own sh*t to deal with and this toxic dude is just gasoline on the fire. I know it hurts now but try to remember that. He wasnít good for you.

    Youíre gonna be ok, one day at a time.

  4. #4
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    We've all been there trust me! And sometimes you do things without actually thinking. I've done it right now by bombarding a guy I was seeing with texts I know it's only putting him off me more but I can't help it. It's good that you're seeking help though. Love does crazy things to us at times, keep strong x

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I hope you have learned from your bad behaviour and that you will not do anything like that ever again. Please keep seeing your therapist until he or she deems you to be in a much better frame of mind.
    Yes, this.

    Many of us have felt incredible pain after a break-up. It's how we handle those emotions that makes the difference. You know you need some more effective coping strategies so these things don't happen again the next time you feel hurt or rejected.

    It's over and it appears you are now working towards accepting that. Keep on that track.

  7. #6
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    Honey if I told you half the crap I did to humiliate myself while not even post break up but while IN my toxic marriage, trust me, you arenít the only person who embarrassed themselves
    We've all been there trust me
    Add me to this list ! You recognise what you did , therefore you have learnt for yourself it isn't the right thing to do ...don't beat yourself up over it .

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter Jibralta's Avatar
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    I'm sure you were driven to those extremes by the toxicity of your relationship. Now you know what a bad relationship looks like, and why you shouldn't get into one: it will make you crazy.

    Yes, you made some mistakes and acted like a fool. The good news is, no one got hurt. Only your pride got hurt, and that will heal in time.

    I hope you feel better. Don't be too hard on yourself. And make sure your next guy treats you well.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. It sounds like you need much better medical and psychological evaluations, management, follow up and ongoing support for these things. If you are drinking or using drugs during these episodes get help for that as well. Clearly you feel and are so of control to the point of committing crimes, vandalism, stalking, harassing, trespassing etc..Take care of yourself before you get arrested or encounter some other type of legal problems.
    Originally Posted by Pure21
    He told me I was crazy and needed to leave but I refused to and I threatened to kill myself

    I do see a therapist and I take medication; I have MDD nd PTSD.

  10. #9
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    focus on yourself (obivously) and your workouts and any other activities you do in life.
    work real hard with your therapist to overcome these inner demons.

    that should keep you busy for a year or two (and longer) before worrying about the ex- or any other potential new relationships for now.
    you got a lot of work to do... but do it - and you will heal and improve and become a new person. so keep at it. you'll know when you're good again.

  11. #10
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    We have all been there. It's about learning from that and not doing it again.

    I sent my ex embarrassing essays. Was so tempted to go around his house and speak to his mum (who didn't help out relationship) and key and throw a brick at his car (my friend was going to drive me there). Luckily I only sent the essay and my mum stopped be from the rest. I was lucky I had her to stop me if not I would have done it all!

    It's normal your emotions are all over the place. I have grown and breakups after that I haven't been tempted to do those things.

    Now you have done it don't feel guilty we can't change the past. Use it as a learning step and grow from it.

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