Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18

Thread: Warning email from boss? Confusing.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    3,595
    You come back and say positive things he said in his email - we cannot possibly give you good advice without full context.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    48,294
    Also I'd evaluate how and when and why you shared your mistakes. It almost sounds like you shared the way you would with a friend, not a boss. Did you just want him to know in case he found out on his own or did you want some kind of reassurance from him? I agree with transparency when of course he shouldn't learn of it from another source, or belatedly, but it sounds like you may have overdone it with all your transparency such that he started to lose confidence in you.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,427
    Originally Posted by leseine7
    I mean... no part of me intends NOT to take this seriously. His email stated that the mistakes were not detrimental to the company, that he doesnít want me to apologize and that I am and have been a careful, organized person by habit. But if I werenít obviously concerned that this email is a legit warning of possible termination, well, I wouldnít be posting here. I also am wary of staying in a job where I canít ask questions on brand new tasks. There is literally no one else to ask but him. The ramifications of making a move without asking could be VERY detrimental.

    In any case, I do intend to speak with him face to face. Iím trying to put my head on straight before doing so on Monday. Obviously that will tell me a lot.

    For what itís worth, I researched it more today, and it is actually illegal as per their contract with me, and the laws around pregnancy and maternity here (in Netherlands) for them to terminate me before or during my maternity leave. Then, when I return, they are required to give me 12 weeks in the office before any termination can be discussed. So, I do have time, but am trying to figure out just how serious all of this is and frankly whether or not I should continue busting my ass with this role if all the back patting is over. Will figure it out.
    Instead of wasting energy researching whether or not they can terminate you during pregnancy, why not spend that energy on the content of his email?

    You continue to defend yourself, talking about "busting your ass" and "back patting". Instead, figure out what the mistakes were, why you made them, and how you can not make them going forward.

    No one in the job market is going to coddle you or pat your back. I'm sorry, but you're starting to sound entitled, and that's a whole 'nother story.

  4. #14
    Gold Member leseine7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Europe
    Age
    34
    Posts
    910
    Gender
    Female
    I think the problem with this kind of forum is that it is difficult to give every single detail. Iíve been trying to give as much context as possible without making an utter novel here, and some details did not seem necessary to state.

    I think Iíve stated multiple times that Iím serious about making an improvement in this role and continuing to grow. My point was not that I need back patting but that it is incredibly confusing to meet with someone daily and receive praise to the point of ďwhatever happens after your maternity leave, we want to make sure you feel comfortable to come back and take this leadership role,Ē and then to receive that email. My point wasnít ďoh I want to go pout because I got negative feedback,Ē but to try to determine before Monday (when Iíll talk to him), if this is indeed an email letting me know theyíre counting down the days.

    Iím honestly trying to assess whatís going to happen from here (and yes, if I should just start planning to be let go,) and will in the meantime do whatever I possibly can to improve. But it also has to be a sane expectation, and telling me one day that everyone is happy and then emailing the next that there have been concerns of any level, is alarming to me. I appreciate the harsh feedback and didnít mean to sound entitled. Iím trying really hard to make as much sense of it as possible before I have to face him.

    As for the question about why I brought up the mistakes- I actually wanted to learn from them. My boss has been a great mentor as well as leader in this role and thus far has reacted positively to those kinds of conversations because those mistakes have never repeated again- it was easy to learn from them with some conversation.

    Iíll take all of this to heart and do my best to implement whatever strategies possible at improving on the job, while also planning for the worst that sounds (at least from the opinions here) to be looming. Thanks everyone.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,427
    Originally Posted by leseine7
    I think the problem with this kind of forum is that it is difficult to give every single detail. Iíve been trying to give as much context as possible without making an utter novel here, and some details did not seem necessary to state.

    I think Iíve stated multiple times that Iím serious about making an improvement in this role and continuing to grow. My point was not that I need back patting but that it is incredibly confusing to meet with someone daily and receive praise to the point of ďwhatever happens after your maternity leave, we want to make sure you feel comfortable to come back and take this leadership role,Ē and then to receive that email. My point wasnít ďoh I want to go pout because I got negative feedback,Ē but to try to determine before Monday (when Iíll talk to him), if this is indeed an email letting me know theyíre counting down the days.

    Iím honestly trying to assess whatís going to happen from here (and yes, if I should just start planning to be let go,) and will in the meantime do whatever I possibly can to improve. But it also has to be a sane expectation, and telling me one day that everyone is happy and then emailing the next that there have been concerns of any level, is alarming to me. I appreciate the harsh feedback and didnít mean to sound entitled. Iím trying really hard to make as much sense of it as possible before I have to face him.

    As for the question about why I brought up the mistakes- I actually wanted to learn from them. My boss has been a great mentor as well as leader in this role and thus far has reacted positively to those kinds of conversations because those mistakes have never repeated again- it was easy to learn from them with some conversation.

    Iíll take all of this to heart and do my best to implement whatever strategies possible at improving on the job, while also planning for the worst that sounds (at least from the opinions here) to be looming. Thanks everyone.
    You're missing the point.

    Yes, he's saying that he wants you to come back from maternity leave, and I assure you, he very well knows that he cannot threaten your job while you are gone. You didn't have to research the legal issues, as I can assure you, he knows, from a legal standpoint, the issues.

    He is also, at the same time, sending you an email letting you know that he's well aware of detrimental mistakes.

    These are two separate things.

    It's like a parent telling a child who just broke a vase that they still love them, but that throwing the ball in the house was a mistake. These are two separate things. The love doesn't just vanish, but the child better not throw a ball in the house again. Maybe a strange analogy, but there it is.

    Focus on one thing: you are making mistakes, and he is aware of them. Either work on not making them, or worry about your job once you are back. No, he can't fire you while you're gone, but he can fire you once you're back.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    48,294
    So LHGirl I think that is a great analogy and not strange at all.

    Leseine I realize it seems like an about face. I think your boss realized on reflection that he might be misleading you with all his accolades and wants to set the record straight in writing. Also it could be that someone out of the blue expressed interest in your job so now he wants to make sure he has a paper trail in case he wants to replace you. Certainly have a talk on Monday. My strong suggestion is to do very little talking and lots of very careful and objective as possible listening.

  8. #17
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    183
    I think you need to discuss with him the process of how he would like you to pose questions for a brand new task that you haven't done before. This seems to be causing you the most anxiety and he listed some of your questions under "mistakes," so I would detail your position on that, how you were asking for clarity on a task that had not yet been performed, and ask him how you should go about obtaining feedback on tasks you haven't done yet so that everyone is confident in your ability to execute them.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    21,062
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by HealingLight
    I think you need to discuss with him the process of how he would like you to pose questions for a brand new task that you haven't done before. This seems to be causing you the most anxiety and he listed some of your questions under "mistakes," so I would detail your position on that, how you were asking for clarity on a task that had not yet been performed, and ask him how you should go about obtaining feedback on tasks you haven't done yet so that everyone is confident in your ability to execute them.
    These are my thoughts, exactly.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •