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Thread: Low sex drive, how can I fix this?

  1. #1
    Member lilsunfl0wer's Avatar
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    Low sex drive, how can I fix this?

    My boyfriend and I engage in sex almost whenever we can (unprotected & protected) for the last 7 months. Itís so easy for him to get aroused while Iím complete opposite, meaning itíll take some time. We tried kissing, foreplay, etc. & nothing rises to make me crazy in bed for him..

    My boyfriend doesnít complain which Iím grateful and he LOVES how much longer it takes for me bc he says I get ďsoakedĒ which turns him on even more. I was thinking of investing in lube online to help but I want to produce it naturally. I deeply love my boyfriend but I want him to know heís pleasuring me but itís taking me longer than expected.

  2. #2
    Silver Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    some people just take longer than others. I am also somebody who takes a REAL long time. My poor ex's, they'd try so hard, and i'd feel so good.. but for whatever reason it just DOESN'T always happen for me.
    i think step 1 is to stop making that the end all be all. To stop seeing sex as "to have an orgasm." As with anything, the more pressure there is to achieve something (say.. sleeping), the more impossible it is to achieve it. EVer try "really hard to sleep"? It's impossible.
    Step 2 is to see sex as "enjoying each other".... feeling good and especially with a person you really like. If we can just forget the rest and just enjoy what we ARE feelnig, instead of worry about what's NOT happening - i think things become easier or at least more enjoyable and wht you take away from any session is how nice and good it felt... rather than what didn't happen.

    Step 2 is really something called.. "staying in the moment".. and that's the best advice and lesson we can learn to improve all facets of life. If we can just stay in the moment always - it's amazing how life changes.

    Step 3. When you're NOT having sex.. make a list of things that do turn you on - not just during sex but at any time. Maybe you need to be flirted with all day long or ned some imagery or hints throughout the day of what might come later. Maybe you need a little teasing to get the mind going and your imagination and let it run all day until you can be physically together. Maybe the build-up needs to be a week in advance. Put the list together and see what comes out of it and see if there are any ideas on how to build that up physically or mentally before you actually see eac hother (either with his help or alone).

    As for the lube thing. Didn't understand it. If you get "soaked" then why would you need to buy lube? Sounds like you're naturally lubing just fine. But if not, there is no shame in getting lube to help. It's whatever helps you both enjoy it more and have a better experience together.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Oral on you before you get started.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Honestly I have friends that are so worried about having to buy lube. I'm not sure what the embarrassment is.

    One of my friends struggles to get wet within her relationship. She said it made her feel like a failure. She said she felt like her bf would think she doesn't find him sexy. Which is obviously not true.

    Everyone's body is different. Everyone has different timed when they "warm up" and even if they can't no shame in buying lube.

    You seem like you are fine! Embrace the longer foreplay. A lot of women would be jealous as some men just rush to the end event. Let's face it for us women the fun is in the beginning anyway lol.

    Good luck and remember there is no shame in using lube especially if it's for a quickie.

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  6. #5
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    When you know that you two are gonna have sex later, slip some lube on before.

  7. #6
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    Are you taking any medications? I think you might want to bring this up to your gyno next time you see them. Also, what revs you up when youíre alone? Maybe watch some porn together? Buy yourself some sexy lingerie to help yourself get in the mood? Getting a wax and wearing sexy lingerie helps me feel more sexy. Also, and I donít know if itís legal in your state, but marijuana is amazing for sex.


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