Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 15 of 15

Thread: Meeting Family at Christmas

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    3
    Thank you for the input everyone. This is why I wanted to come here first before deciding if it was a conversation I wanted to have with him. He is the most extroverted person I know so I never considered that meeting my family would be stressful. I know 6 months is not a great deal of time, but our lives are definitely prettt integrated: more so than any of my past relationships at this point. He has already brought up whether I would want to move in to his house next summer, so it just seemed odd that he wouldn't make time to meet my family. Christmas probably isn't ideal in his head though, so thank you for the perspective everyone.

    Snny, I have gone through deployments with exes and have an ex who is a cop, so I am definitely prepared for the lifestyle it comes with. I'm generally very introverted and need a lot of my own time, so between his work schedule and my 70-80 hours a week at the office, our compatibility in terms of time/space needs from a partner work out quite well.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,230
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by lazzara
    Thank you for the input everyone. This is why I wanted to come here first before deciding if it was a conversation I wanted to have with him. He is the most extroverted person I know so I never considered that meeting my family would be stressful. I know 6 months is not a great deal of time, but our lives are definitely prettt integrated: more so than any of my past relationships at this point. He has already brought up whether I would want to move in to his house next summer, so it just seemed odd that he wouldn't make time to meet my family. Christmas probably isn't ideal in his head though, so thank you for the perspective everyone.

    Snny, I have gone through deployments with exes and have an ex who is a cop, so I am definitely prepared for the lifestyle it comes with. I'm generally very introverted and need a lot of my own time, so between his work schedule and my 70-80 hours a week at the office, our compatibility in terms of time/space needs from a partner work out quite well.
    I would slow your roll. To a guy, moving in doesn't necessarily mean commitment - it could mean convenience - i say that because you are linking the fact that he talked about moving in with the "meeting the family" thing together. you are anxious about him not jumping to meet your parents because you feel he is talking commitment without meeting them yet. He really isn't. I would not further the moving in concept at this time. I'd let him meet your family in an organic and natural way, etc., and i would decide if this guy is the one for you - not just because he is "more intertwined than your last relationship"

  3. #13
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Posts
    606
    Hey Lazzara,

    I just think it's bad timing. You know the cop life.
    As far as "meeting your familiy being stressful." Of course you dont' think it's stressful, its YOUR family. A BIG family. The one MEETING the family is always going to be a bit stressful because they are being judged, it's a big milestone, it's a meaningful milestone, it is the first impression your family will have on him so if there is long-term possibilities (which obvisly there are) then the first impression must be a GOOD one. That's PRESSURE!

    So PRESSURE may be a better word than stressful. Regardless how you cut it.. having a cop schedule, the stress that is the holidays to begin with, only having 2 days off, the thought of those 2 days being already spoken for by traveling across a state line to have that all importnat first meeting with his so's BIG family...

    Not sure how one COULDN'T see why he might prefer to just REST and stay at home for 2 days from his cop shifts.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,463
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by lazzara
    He has already brought up whether I would want to move in to his house next summer, so it just seemed odd that he wouldn't make time to meet my family. Christmas probably isn't ideal in his head though, so thank you for the perspective everyone.
    I think that if he's serious about this relationship, he would make an effort to meet your family. Big deal if it's Christmas. I'm sure he realizes that this is the result of his busy schedule and not some scheme to trap him into marriage. If he doesn't realize that, then maybe he needs to calm down a little. You've made the time to meet his family several times. What is his issue?

    You know your relationship best. If this seems 'off' to you, maybe it is.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,653
    Originally Posted by lazzara
    Thank you for the input everyone. This is why I wanted to come here first before deciding if it was a conversation I wanted to have with him. He is the most extroverted person I know so I never considered that meeting my family would be stressful. I know 6 months is not a great deal of time, but our lives are definitely prettt integrated: more so than any of my past relationships at this point. He has already brought up whether I would want to move in to his house next summer, so it just seemed odd that he wouldn't make time to meet my family. Christmas probably isn't ideal in his head though, so thank you for the perspective everyone.

    Snny, I have gone through deployments with exes and have an ex who is a cop, so I am definitely prepared for the lifestyle it comes with. I'm generally very introverted and need a lot of my own time, so between his work schedule and my 70-80 hours a week at the office, our compatibility in terms of time/space needs from a partner work out quite well.
    He probably needs the money. Also it doesn't matter if he's "extroverted" -it doesn't mean he wants to travel on christmas for hours to meet your family at a very busy and intense time.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •