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Thread: Want to end my 1.5 year relationship

  1. #1

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    Want to end my 1.5 year relationship

    I have been in a relationship for over 1.5 years with a truly great man. Over the past 3 months I have started to lose my love for him and want a change. I met a wonderful guy who I clicked with and really REALLY like. I tried to end it 2 days ago to be with him but then I went back on it.... Now I cannot get this guy out of my head... I am very conflicted and have no clue what to do...

  2. #2
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    You know what to do.

    Break up and mean it. Stick to it.

  3. #3

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    I know. My issue now is I told him I want to try to make it work. Almost to appease him. I told him it was a mistake but I cannot get this boy out of my head... I have never felt true happiness like he has given me, but at the same time my boyfriend moved to my university for me for over a year now.... I care so deeply for him but my heart is not where it needs to be and I am afraid if I end it, he will never recover since I have caused so much pain in the past week. Do I appease him and then say I cant do this 1 month from now?

  4. #4
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    It sounds like you are truly out. Your feelings may wear out on the new guy quickly, so I only caution against leaving simply because someone else made you weak in the knees. It's a little late, but would have been much better to not have told him about the other guy.

    But if your boyfriend has never made you weak in the knees in that way, he's probably not right for you. The less you drag it out, the better for him it will be.

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  6. 12-13-2018, 05:55 AM

  7. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's best not to string anyone along nor assume their world will end without you. It sounds like you would prefer to use your bf as a safety net while you check out other guys so this has nothing to do with your noble martyrdom or grand altruism. It seems you believe you are staying out of some sort of pity or "kindness", but perhaps the new guy just wasn't that interested.
    Originally Posted by Warmer
    I told him I want to try to make it work. Almost to appease him. I cannot get this boy out of my head. my heart is not where it needs to be and I am afraid if I end it, he will never recover

  8. #6
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    You've never felt so much happiness with a guy that you've known for just 3 months while being committed to another man? You've never dated this new guy. Does he know you have a boyfriend?

    But anyway end it with your boyfriend. You clearly want to break up and have checked out from the relationship long ago.

  9. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's best not to string anyone along nor assume their world will end without you. It sounds like you would prefer to use your bf as a safety net while you check out other guys so this has nothing to do with your noble martyrdom or grand altruism. It seems you believe you are staying out of some sort of pity or "kindness", but perhaps the new guy just wasn't that interested.
    This! Be real with your boyfriend but specially with yourself!

  10. #8
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    Originally Posted by Warmer
    I know. My issue now is I told him I want to try to make it work. Almost to appease him. I told him it was a mistake but I cannot get this boy out of my head... I have never felt true happiness like he has given me, but at the same time my boyfriend moved to my university for me for over a year now.... I care so deeply for him but my heart is not where it needs to be and I am afraid if I end it, he will never recover since I have caused so much pain in the past week. Do I appease him and then say I cant do this 1 month from now?
    Why won’t he “ever recover”? Why have you “caused so much pain” if you care for him so deeply? I’m sure he’ll be fine if you leave. But you really need to make one decision or another. Leave the poor guy alone if you’ve moved on from him.

  11. #9
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Warmer
    I have never felt true happiness like he has given me,
    Don't enter a relationship looking for happiness. It will always fail and you will be left where you are with your current boyfriend...'I wasn't truly happy with him, this other guy makes me happy.' True happiness can only be found within, make yourself happy, never depend on someone else to.

    The problem with relationships these days are our vaunted expectations set by movies, social media, dating apps etc. We always believe there is someone better out there and if there is an issue, instead of trying to resolve it, trying to make a good thing even better, we cast it aside. We then pretend we have found the magical 'one' where everything is perfect, only to have that sentiment fail and we cast them aside for the next 'one'.

    You have two choices,

    - start monkey branching towards that magical 'one' that will never happen, and spend your time with multiple different guys until eventually men stop being interested

    or

    - Take the great guy that you have and make a long term go of it. Make the best of what you can from this and grow it, resolve the issues and make it the best you can, a partner for life to share everything with.

  12. #10
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    If I were the BF you think needs you so desperately that you'll appease him, I'd be pretty annoyed to know that.

    He'll get over you, trust me.

    You, on the other hand, need some time to figure out how jumping to the next guy while still entangled with the current guy is not a good strategy for happiness. Plus, it uses people. Don't hedge your bets like that.

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