Originally Posted by littleladyxx
Thanks so much for the replies, I really appreciate the solid advice and supportive words. I know that I desperately need out and to be honest once I've moved out again I don't think we'll keep in contact. I snapped and said something to her earlier after she made yet another degrading comment and she actually apologised and saud she didn't mean anything by it. She's got a lot of issues that are beyond my help now I've realised in recent years and she is so toxic to my happiness I just feel so guilty for feeling this way cause she's my mum y'know?
You don't need to go punitive and cut Mom off for good, just move out. She's apologized, so exit on good terms, and step up to take a kind but ADULT role in setting boundaries with Mom. Explain to her that if the price of doing business with her is criticism, she's going to see less of you until she demonstrates that she's willing to become the positive influence in your life that you want to be in hers.

As we mature, we can manage a change in power dynamics with our parents in a graceful way, or we can remain rooted in our child role and pretend to be victimized when nothing changes. It's up to us to raise our parents to the healthy level of adulthood WE have achieved--but the chances of doing that while moving into THEIR home are slim to none. So exit kindly, and demonstrate for Mom the kind of relationship you want to have with her going forward.