Please help am I losing my mind?

Hi, I need advice like now. Long story short my ex I broke up, I’ve been trying to get her back, the last week or so things were moving in the right direction. Then we got into a fight Saturday night. I’ve been texting and calling her for the past 2 days with absolutely no response. Then today I told her I was worried that she wasn’t safe and she responded that she was fine.

I’ve been asking her if she wants us to be done and she just refuses to answer me. I feel like I want to go to her house and confront her. She says she’s not home right now but still won’t answer me if she wants to be done.

Am I losing my mind? Am I crazy to show up and wait for her to come home? I wish she would just answer me idk why she refuses

I’m just gonna sleep it off

Good plan. Do you not realize that pestering a person with repeated texts and phone calls does nothing but p1ss them off? No wonder she wont answer you. Dont go to her house, she may call the cops on you.

The fact she isnt responding to you should tell you she doesnt want to talk to you.

I understand she may not want to talk to me but why not answer my question ?

Why not just say yes I’m done?

I understand she may not want to talk to me but why not answer my question ?

Her silence does answer your question, more than her words ever could, why do you need her to say actual words?

I don't get why you even asked her if she's done, didn't you say you were already broken up?

Yes she's done and so should you be, sorry man, life sucks sometimes. :(

Frankly, I think you suffocated her, you sound very needy, try and get a grip on that with next girl.

We were broken up but on the verge of getting back together. Just a few days ago she told me she wanted to try again but takes things slow.

You’re right I lose my cool and then I do dumb things.

I feel like her not saying it means she’s unsure but I guess I’m reading into it too much

Re-assess things in a bit. Give her some time and space, don't contact her AT ALL, for any reason for awhile and let her reach out to you. If she wants you back there is damn good chance of not hearing from you for a few days she will make contact. Even it goes longer than a week, then I'd say it's done.

Give her some space and back off. If she wants you she will let you know

I can understand your anxiety as she isn’t giving you the closure you are desperately needing. Her not answering you is probably because she doesn’t have the answer you are seeking from her. She probably is trying to think things through and with your constant calls and texts, it will push her away even more. Instead of straight telling you she is done, she wants to keep her options open and she is still thinking. But for you, you really need to try and internalize your feelings at this point. It’s going to be super hard because your mind is analyzing every detail. Focus on how you’re feeling right now, focus your attention on how this makes you feel and what you wish to achieve. When you know, then give her some time to focus on herself as well. The response before is right, don’t contact her. You need to move on as if it is completely over and try to find yourself again without her.

I’m in a similar situation where my ex and I broke up, my initiation. He was very pushy with his text messages and phone calls and it annoyed me a lot. Drove me insane to the point that I told him he was driving me crazy and that I needed space. I sat down and talked to him and explained that I needed time apart from him to think things through to see if this is what I really wanted. He listened, and is now giving me space. He checks in on me now and then, and sometimes it’s annoying and other times I really appreciated it. You just need to get a feel for how she is responding. Since she is ignoring you completely, you really need to give her some space.

Give her some space and back off. If she wants you she will let you know

Second Ninja. If she's not responding to calls / messages then you should consider that as her response. You deserve more than to be ignored.

Give her space, let her miss you etc etc....

Best of luck

Thank you guys I’m definitely done contacting her. I said it yesterday but then I began to worry about her well being. I was doing fine all day I guess I should’ve just continued to leave it alone but I panicked. I need to give myself space from all of this at this point. It’s sucking up too much time and draining to the point where I’m not taking care of my other responsibilities. At this point idk if I should even allow someone in my life that is okay with just ignoring me. But you are all right space is the only solution and I’m okay with that. For some reason I keep falling into these same traps but I’ll figure it out and learn to avoid them

Hpinky I am extremely surprised she never told me to buzz off. After the fight Sat I texted like crazy on Sunday, I would’ve just said “give me space” like you did. You said he checks in now and then, how long has it been? I take it you’re not back together ?

You are not losing your mind. You are in panic mode right now. It's a normal reaction after losing someone you love/care about. Give yourself and her some time to cool down. I would not contact her at all, understand? When things cool down she will contact you, if she is still interested. Don't pester her. That's the wrong way of going about it. You've reached out to her plenty; now the ball ins in her court.

Thanks goddess you’re absolutely right. I have no intentions on contacting her again. How much space do you think is reasonable before I just move on? I don’t think it’s fair if she decides to come back weeks or months later .. I think maybe 2 weeks max, after that then what’s the point? Is that too harsh?

Thanks goddess you’re absolutely right. I have no intentions on contacting her again. How much space do you think is reasonable before I just move on? I don’t think it’s fair if she decides to come back weeks or months later .. I think maybe 2 weeks max, after that then what’s the point? Is that too harsh?

Good for you! Wise decision. The space issue varies from individual to individual. How long were you dating her? I believe that is important but two weeks sounds reasonable. If in that time she contacts you: great. Perhaps then, when you've both had a chance to re-evaluate the relationship, you can talk about it. However, if she does not contact you, please, please please let it go. That means there's no hope to rekindle things. You deserve better than that.

Thanks goddess for your support, probably the only smart decision I’ve made in a long time. We were together for 3 years. I do think 2 weeks is reasonable, after that it’s just a done deal. I for sure will not contact her

We're not back together. He literally gave me no space. He called me one day 32 times and sent me 54 text messages. I knew he was anxious but I couldn't process his emotions as I was dealing with my own. You really need to just focus on you, and let her do her. It's been about 3 to 4 weeks since our break up and I am still sorting out myself. I've even started talking to someone else to get my mind off things and it's made things worst. In your case, if she decides later that she wants to get back together and you've moved on, then that's not your problem. You shouldn't worry too much about moving on too fast, because she is processing that thought already. I am trying not to lead my ex on as I've told him to focus on himself so I can focus on myself. He's told me he isn't going to give up and I see his efforts, but it doesn't make me want to get back together.

Thanks wishing makes me feel better that this is a somewhat common thing. Thought I was the only one getting this kind of treatment lol. You’re right though it will definitely be their loss!!! The pestering is done gonna occupy my time with things that don’t up and leave like money and more money. We deserve a piece of happiness too

Yes, I know about that pain. It's almost like being on fire.....you look around desperately for some help. When I am in this place I give my "ex" all the power in the world almost. I give her the power over my well-being. Like, if she would just look at me and/or give my a glimmer of hope, i would be out of this Hell. I think what a lot of people post here is about no contact, etc etc.....but for me, I just need a way to live with this pain another day. And my next thought is always, "Gee, if I am in so much pain right now, why did I enter into this thing in the first place?" Good question. I guess I made mistakes, and she made mistakes. Bottom line: yes it hurts, and thanks for sharing....

Hi, I need advice like now. Long story short my ex I broke up, I’ve been trying to get her back, the last week or so things were moving in the right direction. Then we got into a fight Saturday night. I’ve been texting and calling her for the past 2 days with absolutely no response. Then today I told her I was worried that she wasn’t safe and she responded that she was fine.

 

I’ve been asking her if she wants us to be done and she just refuses to answer me. I feel like I want to go to her house and confront her. She says she’s not home right now but still won’t answer me if she wants to be done.

 

Am I losing my mind? Am I crazy to show up and wait for her to come home? I wish she would just answer me idk why she refuses

You're going through the 1st part of the break up and the 2nd part "Desperate for Answers" and "Denial" you need to know why she won't answer, and like everyone else said it's almost like you're on fire, and looking for someone to put out the flames, unfortunately no one but you, can put them out.

This biggest mistake I think people make right after a break up is freak out, and beg and plead, but this is doing nothing but causing more harm then anything and usually makes you sound weak, and desperate (sorry to sound harsh). Girls don't like this.

Give her space, better yet, do the no contact rule (This doesn't mean that she will come flying back after 30 days!) it's there to help you heal.

Take a deep breath, walk away from your phone, and just do you for right now.