Boyfriend said I need to prove that I am deserving of his last name

This person I have known for approximately 1 month now told me that I have to prove myself to get married to him and to have his last name. My response to him was that I do not have to prove myself to anyone as he was the one to approach me and admit his feelings for me. I do like him but havent admitted this to him. We arent anything official. We just go out to get to know each other better. I am very angry with him for saying this as I believe a relationship/marriage should not be based on validating if a person is good enough to be with you. I am thinking about not continuing seeing this person.

Can someone interpret his statement as I dont know if I am over analysing anything.

Does sound like some slightly chauvinistic wording if it was as you're implying, but he's not necessarily wrong. My wife had to "prove" herself to be someone I wanted to marry. I likewise had to do the same for her. We should all hold ourselves to a certain standard and ensure the other person has demonstrated they live up to it. But while the ends may be similar, there is a difference between effectively looking at someone as lower than you until they've checked off whatever boxes and then looking at someone as someone you simply don't know.

How and why was this discussion even brought up?

He sounds like a complete weirdo.

You barely know this guy, are not eclusive, yet are talking marriage?! That makes zero sense.

Dump him!

If someone I'd known for a month was already talking about marriage, I'd be making my apologies and leaving pretty sharpish, too. If they were talking about how I needed to prove myself, my exit would be even quicker. It's also presumptuous to assume you'd want to take his name even if you got married.

As j.man says, in a way, we all 'prove' ourselves to our partners. However, if this is stated in such a way as to imply that HE is the catch, and you need to work hard to win him, then forget it.

On the other hand, are you talking about meeting someone as part of an arranged marriage agreement with parents involved? If so, then the above probably doesn't apply. Different game, different rules.

Is this arranged dating? Is dating in your culture only for the purposes of finding a spouse? How did this conversation come about? You have nothing to prove. He sounds like a weirdo and nasty arrogant person. Stop dating him and move on to someone else.

This person I have known for approximately 1 month now told me that I have to prove myself to get married to him and to have his last name.

How old is he? This is something a teenager might say. It would be a little strange coming from someone older.

Yeah the marriage reference is weird and way too premature after only one month imo, what was the context of this conversation, how did it come up?

The fact he felt inclined to announce this at all is also strange, but agree with j.man, he should be observing you for a LTR assuming a LTR leading to marriage is what he wants, as should you.

This should be done silently though, one doesn't go announcing that's what they're doing, it defeats the purpose and suggests possible controlllng tendencies, but it's too soon to say unless there are other indicators.

Sounds like a joke.

I think he has delusions of grandeur. He deserves to be set free.

He sounds crazy. Sorry.

Dump the idiot.

Wanting a woman to "prove" herself or prove her worthiness is also something the PUA sites preach however unfortunately what men who read those sites don't realize is (1) you don't actually tell or ask a woman to prove herself, that's just stupid (you observe her behavior silently), and (2) women are doing the same thing to them.

This guy a total chump for telling you that and for that reason alone I'd dump him.

I would tell him to fk right off ...my goodness and you are only in the getting to know each other stage ....

That ...is showing you of things to come ...that is telling you who he is and what he is like and how his mind works .....what a sad pathetic man .

If a guy ever said this to me, I’d dump him, stat.

Sounds like he thinks pretty highly of himself, to a point where he thinks everyone else is below him.

Along the lines of what the others have mentioned, the whole purpose of dating is to see if the person you’re seeing is worth your time, love and attention. But you don’t say this to them. This is common knowledge.

The fact that he said this out loud though does make me think it’s indicative of a controlling personality. It’s as if he expects you to bow and cater to him.

As sportster said, he has delusions of grandeur.

That said, I’d bow out and move on. He’s not worth your time.

Boyfriend said I need to prove that I am deserving of his last name

OP, can you return and tell us what prompted him to say this^?

You've been dating a month, why the h** is he mentioning anything pertaining to you and his last name? Let alone that you have to "prove yourself" to be deserving of it?

I think the guy is just flat out whacked! And I also think it was some sort or shyt text.

Next.

I can't wrap my head around this at all ....I mean who the hell does he think he is lol

ewww can you imagine what he is like in bed

💩👹🤖👎🐷🐗🙈🤢🤡🐔

ewww can you imagine what he is like in bed

Tell him he needs to prove he's worthy to take you out this weekend. That should shut him up.

This guy is a joke. His ego is massive.

I'd tell him "I'm not up to proving anything to anyone"..then follow by delete, block.

How dare he say that!! What a narcissistic, chauvinistic imbecile he is. Stay away from him.

I'd say "you are asking me to prove worthy of your last name. Sorry, I have a name already. Buh-bye".

So we all want his number then loooool

Like Katrina has asked, it would be interesting to get a little more context regarding how this comment even came up in conversation.

I’m currently just picturing some pompous windb*g trying to intimidate his girlfriend, and this type normally looks for submissive women to control.

I mean seriously this really is sub/dom stuff .....but totally out of context here

He had better poop gold and look like Thor (or some other superhero) and be a complete saint.

Then possibly I could see why he said what he said.