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Thread: Alone and having trouble making friends.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SaraShaw
    Everyplace I go they just want to do the work.
    You have to let friendships build gradually in these circumstances because people really are there to do the work. If you're showing up to make friends and they're showing up to volunteer, your friendship-overtures will be abrasive. That's why you should really spend time doing things you like to do. Then you work alongside people and over time, friendships develop.

    For example, a couple of years ago, I took a class to learn bead weaving. The class was pretty much comprised of old ladies. Not a single person my age there. But I loved it. People mainly focused on their work, but occasional conversations would bubble up here and there.

    I ended up taking that course two more times over the next five or six years. I just started to make friendly acquaintances during that last class--one lady always let me use her extension cord, another lady sent me a recommendation on a power cord for my lamp. Another lady sent me a free subscription to a bead weaving magazine after she sent me a pattern that I liked.

    But all of this came from happily coexisting together after a number of years, not from aggressively pursuing each other's friendship.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
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    Several years ago, my real estate agent was a really cool, fun person. I wanted to be friends with her, so I invited her to lunch to "thank" her for helping me.

    Eight years later, we are close and terrific friends.

    She didn't meet up with me initially to look for friends. But it turned out we hit it off.

    So to dismiss volunteering because "everyone's there to work not make friends" is dismissing a potential great opportunity.

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