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Thread: Is this too much to ask of my BF?

  1. #1

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    Is this too much to ask of my BF?

    Not sure who to ask about this so I'm posting here.
    About 6 months into our relationship my BF hooked up with another girl at bar, and told me immediately because he felt guilty.
    We are at a year now and he cheated on me again about 2 months ago when he went away on a trip. He told me 2 days after he got back, but I already knew because he began acting weird on the last day of his trip. That was the first time he's gone away without me since we got together and he had been texting me and constantly updating me with pictures and videos. Suddenly on the last day he pretty much stopped communication saying he was busy.
    Anyway, I was very hurt and I broke up with him but a day later, after we talked more, he begged me for the opportunity to show me he could be faithful and promised me he would never hurt me again if I would stay.
    Now 2 months later he wants to visit a friend across the county then immediately following is going on a 2 week work trip.
    I feel like there's a roadblock on our relationship. I feel pretty much certain when he goes away he will cheat again and that will be the end of it. I certainly don't feel comfortable saying he can't visit a friend or go away for work (although it is an optional trip) so that is out of the question.

    Is it too much to bring this up to him? That I feel like because of all that's happened and the time coming that our relationship has an expiration date? I can't keep talking about our future together without this shadow looming over my head. I'm not sure if it will just create dramatics since it's nothing I can change.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    He’s cheated on you twice. He doesn’t get the luxury of solo cross-country trips until he’s earned your trust back, if you even find it worth it to give him your trust back. I would not. I would next this guy.

  3. #3
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    So many questions- Why are you taking him back after all these times? Who is the friend he is visiting cross country- a guy or girl? If the work trip is “optional” why is he going? Shouldn’t he be trying to fix your trust? You are letting him off too easy. You mention the future—Has he asked about the future? Why do you want a future with a guy who cheats? Why did he go away without you? You shouldn’t be talking about a future with a guy like this. He will never change.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't let this guy keep walking all over you. Break up. This way you could be the one dating others but without cheating or being cheated on yet again. There is no future with a guy like this who has no respect for you.
    Originally Posted by Lp418
    About 6 months into our relationship my BF hooked up with another girl at bar, and told me immediately because he felt guilty.
    We are at a year now and he cheated on me again about 2 months ago when he went away on a trip.
    That I feel like because of all that's happened and the time coming that our relationship has an expiration date?

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  6. #5
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    He has cheated twice! You have every right not to be comfortable with him going away.

    I don't trust him being away and I don't know him!

    It all depends on you. I think deep down you know you can't trust him and the relationship is coming to an end if you feel like this.

    That said plenty of women stay with men who constantly cheat on them. Same goes for men staying with women who cheat.

    You have to decide what you want for you!

  7. #6
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    I asked a bunch of questions above, but in reality, there should be no questions. You should not have to even ask a question about this guy. You should not be questioning whether or not you will be creating dramatics, you should just walk away, quietly. He doesn’t deserve your dramatics or even a second thought. Bad boy.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Why would you give him another chance after he cheated yet again. You've certainly taught him that all he has to do is confess that he's been in bed with another girl and then things go back to normal.

    You cannot trust an untrustworthy person. PERIOD!

  9. #8
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    You can't trust this guy. Is this the way you want to be treated? Every time he's out of your sight, he's cheating on you. Stop taking him back and kick him to the curb.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Dump, block, NEXT!!!

  11. #10
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    He cheated on you twice and betrayed your trust. Not sure how it’s even possible for him to earn your trust back.

    Frankly, he doesn’t deserve it anyway.

    I’d break up with him. No one deserves to be treated this way by their partner.

    I just don’t understand how anyone can invest their precious time in someone who’s treated them like cr*p.

    Why bother staying with him when you’re going to spend all of your time wondering and worrying if he’ll cheat on you again.

    It’s a waste of your precious time & energy.

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