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Thread: Anyone ever use a voice recorder, surveillance?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Rabican
    They bought a house together but its in her name... and then he went and f*&$*ed up... so if she sells the house they are not going to get back what they put into it and hes likely going to be the one to take the loss.
    Did he also cheat?

    How would a surveillance system help? I am confused?

  2. #12
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    Buying a house with a boyfriend is no different than buying a house with a brother or a friend or a neighbor down the street, etc. Unless they are married, there is no legal expectation of fidelity written or implied. Courts just donít go into that stuff.

    I agree 100% that her money is better spent on a lawyer to assess her rights, obligations and options.

    The relationship is over. No need for surveillance. That is her hurt feelings talking. The courts will likely not care.

  3. #13
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    First of all, it was not smart at all for your friend to buy a house with someone "new". You don't state how long they've been in a relationship, but this is never a good idea. I'm not chastising you/your friend, as I've actually done this before, and the financial untangling was a mess. I'd never do it again.

    That's not what you asked about, so I'll answer your question:

    I do have a friend whose husband, prior to meeting her, was married to a woman he suspected of cheating. He owns a ranch, and he suspected his ranch hand, who was also his best friend, was cheating with his wife. He bought one of those clock radios that has a built-in surveillance camera, and put it on his nightstand. Yes, they were recorded, in his own bed! Later that evening, they were all in the living room, and he said he had a great show that he wanted them to see! Needless to say, he divorced her afterwards.

    Is it right, is it moral, is it legal where you live? Not sure what the answer is, but that's not what you asked.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Anyone ever use a voice recorder, surveillance?
    No, because if I ever reached that level of distrust, I'd be outta there. Doesn't matter whether it's a technical 'cheat,' or not--it's about how I'd want to live my life. Looking over my shoulder would NOT be remotely that.

    Cousin doesn't need a 'reason' to want out. Seeking legal advice would be the smartest thing to do, because different laws apply to different locations. She can learn her options and the steps for each, and then she can decide her course based on REAL information rather than emotions.

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  6. #15
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    I'll try to keep this brief. This person (not me, and not in my state) bought a house together with new bf.
    House is in her name, but he put substantial money into buying it with her.... And then he started messing around and deciding he doesn't want to be with her any more etc.

    She was looking to confirm some suspicions before deciding on selling the house or doing anything that can't be easily undone.

    She wants to get back what she put into it and if there's a shortage she's hoping he loses the money not her. I told her I would speak to an attorney first before going the spying or selling route to make sure she isn't gonna get screwed money wise.

  7. #16
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    It doesn't matter if he was having 10 different sexual partners a night, in their bed. None of that is relevant to home ownership and the legalities of it all.

    It's in her name, so it's her house. If he wants his money back, he'll have to hire a lawyer. They both should seek separate lawyers who are real estate specialists to untangle this mess.

    Chances are, the lawyers are going to look at bank records, statements, receipts, and recommend distribution based on those receipts. In short, each will probably get back what he/she put in, minus the legal fees and their sanity.

    No amount of cameras, surveillance, recorders, or anything are going to be admissible. All it will do is provide her with a "Gotcha!". Know what? She doesn't need that. She has suspicions enough to wire up the house. She should leave the relationship, and deal with the house, and save her surveillance camera money.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabican
    I'll try to keep this brief. This person (not me, and not in my state) bought a house together with new bf.
    House is in her name, but he put substantial money into buying it with her.... And then he started messing around and deciding he doesn't want to be with her any more etc.

    She was looking to confirm some suspicions before deciding on selling the house or doing anything that can't be easily undone.

    She wants to get back what she put into it and if there's a shortage she's hoping he loses the money not her. I told her I would speak to an attorney first before going the spying or selling route to make sure she isn't gonna get screwed money wise.
    If HE decided he doesn't want to be with her anymore, then what good would surveillance do? She's focused on the wrong stuff, and that's expensive. Glad you gave her good advice.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabican
    I'll try to keep this brief. This person (not me, and not in my state) bought a house together with new bf.
    House is in her name, but he put substantial money into buying it with her.... And then he started messing around and deciding he doesn't want to be with her any more etc.

    She was looking to confirm some suspicions before deciding on selling the house or doing anything that can't be easily undone.

    She wants to get back what she put into it and if there's a shortage she's hoping he loses the money not her. I told her I would speak to an attorney first before going the spying or selling route to make sure she isn't gonna get screwed money wise.
    Well that's where she outta be careful and really put the money into a lawyer. It's easy for him to pass the buck and say her name's on the deed. A lot harder to demonstrate he gave her $20,000 out of the good of his own heart just as she happened to purchase the house. A good number of judges in a good number of states won't hang someone like the boyfriend out to dry in that kind of situation regardless of any written legal protections he may or may not have exercised.

    Hopefully your cousin grows a larger brain between this and the next man.

  10. #19
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    Yes. She needs to speak with an attorney, her bank, etc. It depends who is on the mortgage and/or the deed. He is a fool if he put a down payment on a place that is in her name. She can't screw him out of his down payment because she suspects he's cheating. However they will have to figure things out regarding proof of his down payment and their respective responsibilities if she sells the place. Why can't he move out and she installs a roommate/tenant until she can reimburse him for the down payment, if it comes to that and it was construed as an investment rather than a "gift" from him.
    Originally Posted by Rabican
    House is in her name, but he put substantial money into buying it with her.... And then he started messing around and deciding he doesn't want to be with her any more etc. She wants to get back what she put into it and if there's a shortage she's hoping he loses the money not her.

  11. 01-08-2019, 02:39 PM

  12. #20
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    Surely there's a paper trail of where the funds came from, and if it ends up in court the losses will be split equitably by the court according to who put in what and how much was lost, etc.

    But the topic of this thread is a voice recorder and who has used one to keep tabs on a partner, for whatever reason. I did, at the end of my marriage, and they work well. They're compact, voice activated so you don't have to listen to hours of nothing and the recordings are typically clear enough to easily hear. They also don't cost all that much. Of course, you want a digital recorder that uses a memory chip not a tape (if you can even find those anymore).

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